Do You Want A Long And Happy Relationship? Here Are The Six Most Common Pitfalls to Avoid At All Times
Sometimes, maintaining a strong, thriving and long-lasting relationship is as easy as one-two-three.
Other times, keeping that same relationship alive may be particularly challenging, especially if factors such as distance and time are at play.
Yet, a couple does not need to sacrifice their promising careers so as to be happy. They have just discovered this secret recipe: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!
If you want a long and happy relationship, you should learn to foresee potential dangers as they are looming in the distance. Once the issue has been identified, the two of you should not ignore it, but rather engage in a fruitful and constructive discussion so as to have it resolved.
Below we’ve highlighted the six most common relationship pitfalls to avoid at all costs.
These have not been collected randomly for the sake of filling up online space. Rather, each one has been selected following live interviews with couples who’ve recently broken up.
1. When you have an argument, never hit below the belt
Couples who have built a harmonious relationship unanimously say that occasional fights are a normal part of their life. However, in domestic arguments, as well as in boxing, you should never hit below the belt.
Even in the heat of a fiery clash with your partner, you should always watch your tongue. Avoid profanities and do not say things aimed at your partner’s soft spot. Finally, remember to always end the argument with a compromise or a suggestion for one.
When arguing, you should learn to rely on logical arguments to defend your stance. At the same time, you should give your partner a chance to explain how they see the issue. This certainly won’t happen against the background of dishes being smashed on the kitchen floor and doors being slammed off their hinges!
2. Never let your perception of reality be clouded by a fit of anger
Speaking of relationship arguments, I would like to emphasize how important it is for both partners in a relationship to learn to control their anger so as to avoid explosive, dangerous blowups of domestic violence. When you do feel angry, you should openly discuss the reasons for your current state of mind with your partner. Do not let anger build up inside you, because the results can sometimes be tragic.
Marriage counselors now agree that the way partners fight is indicative of their relationship’s survivability. In relationships where one of the partners is highly critical and harbors genuine contempt for the other, the chances of imminent breakup is very high.
On the other hand, harmonious couples have developed skills to channel their anger towards solving the particular problem, rather than through accusations and reproaches at each other.
3. No matter what you do, never use sex as a weapon
When two people get together, chances are that they will have different sexual needs. Gents are typically considered to have higher libidos than ladies. Sometimes, however, it’s the girl’s sex-drive that appears to prevail.
In either case, if you want to have a happy sex life together, you should never use sex as an exchange coin or take advantage of your partner’s sexual desires and preferences. The key is to find your common rhythm and diversify your love life often enough.
The easiest way to make sex more interesting is to try new sex positions and select a few that seem to work well for both of you. Most importantly, you should openly discuss with your partner what you like in the sheets and carefully listen to his or her preferences as well.
4. When the trust between you is gone, the days of your relationship are counted
The importance of trust for a healthy relationship has already been discussed over thousands of pages, and from every possible perspective. Yet, most of those who’ve been writing on the matter seem to agree that one’s happiness is their own responsibility.
Life nowadays can be very stressful and full of uncertainties. Nevertheless, if you have been hurt in the past, you should not assume that you can’t fully trust your current partner either. Instead, you should give him or her a chance to prove their trustworthiness.
If your partner is open and frank to you, make sure to reciprocate with the same. Trust can take ages to earn, but it often breaks up in seconds!
5. Do not bury your head in the sand
In every healthy relationship, there are times when we do not quite see eye to eye with each other. It may be because we have different ideas of what our life together should be like, or because we tend to misinterpret each other’s signals.
No matter the reason, in a fully-functional relationship, both parties try to cooperate in resolving whatever current issues may arise. Having built strong trust between you, working as a team to resolve any problems that may surface in the course of your relationship should not be very hard.
6. Stay emotionally close to each other
It is pretty much normal in every relationship to experience moments of exceptional closeness and ones of distancing from each other. In a balanced relationship, neither of the partners will let this temporary feeling of detachment persist for too long.
After all, if the emotional gap between the two of you continues to widen too long, one of you may start feeling alienated, rejected and he or she may eventually walk away. A good insight into how you can overcome the emotional gap between you is offered in brilliant film director Stanley Kubrick’s swansong Eyes Wide Shut (1999), starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. The film is a gripping erotic psychological drama that will surely help you regain the sense of closeness you both need!