“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages,” wrote Friedrich Nietzsche.
As it turns out, there are plenty of other variables that can make or break your union as well. Emory University researchers Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon studied over three thousand married couples in hopes of finding commonalities that led to either long lasting unions or quick splits. Their findings, published in this paper and further visualized here by University of Pennsylvania Senior Data Scientist Randal Olsen, include everything from wedding size to income to time spent dating.
Here are seven scientifically proven ways to lower your chances of getting divorced:
1. Choose your partner for the right reasons.
When choosing a partner, men often put too much importance on physical beauty, and women on material wealth. Although these preferences make sense from an evolutionary standpoint, they do not equate to a happy marriage. Men are 1.5 times more likely to end up divorced when they place a high value on their partner’s looks, and women are 1.6 times more likely to file for divorce when they marry for money.
When choosing a partner, men often put too much importance on physical beauty, and women on material wealth. Although these preferences make sense from an evolutionary standpoint, they do not equate to a happy marriage. Men are 1.5 times more likely to end up divorced when they place a high value on their partner’s looks, and women are 1.6 times more likely to file for divorce when they marry for money.
2. Set a tight wedding budget.
Researchers found that the more a couple spent on their wedding ceremony, the less likely the union was to last. An expensive wedding could indicate a focus on the thrill of the big day, as opposed to an excitement for the lifetime of marriage to follow. Happy couples were more likely to save on the wedding in favor of building a stronger financial future.
3….but invite everyone you know!
The same study found that the higher a wedding’s attendance, the less likely the couple was to end up getting divorced. Big weddings often indicate that the newlyweds have strong support from friends and family, which is important to the survival of any marriage.
4. Invest in a honeymoon.
Spending had the opposite effect when applied to a honeymoon. Couples who chose to vacation together after the wedding had a 41 percent lower chance of divorce than those who opted to skip this tradition. A honeymoon can lower stress, increase bonding, and help to create happy memories. Send your marriage off on the right foot, and book that trip to Tahiti!
Spending had the opposite effect when applied to a honeymoon. Couples who chose to vacation together after the wedding had a 41 percent lower chance of divorce than those who opted to skip this tradition. A honeymoon can lower stress, increase bonding, and help to create happy memories. Send your marriage off on the right foot, and book that trip to Tahiti!
5. Don’t rush down the aisle.
Couples who dated for three years or more before getting engaged were 39 percent less likely to get divorced than couples who were engaged less than a year into their relationship. Couples who took the time to get to know one another were more likely to make a well informed decision and feel comfortable with their choice to tie the knot.
6. Go to church together.
Couples who never go to church were found to be twice as likely to divorce than regular churchgoers. Church can offer a much needed sense of community and social support during troublesome times. Many even have classes designed to strengthen marriages. If you are not religious, consider engaging in another type of morally or spiritually based community.
7. Make lots of money.
It isn’t romantic, but sadly it’s true. Money makes everything easier. Researchers found conclusively that the more money a couple made, the less likely they were to file for divorce. Wealthy couple have access to better therapists and other mental health resources, as well as bonding opportunities like date nights and vacations. Money troubles are known to be the leading cause of stress in most relationships, and play a role in over half of all divorce filings. Having some income to spare makes these fights less necessary.