Why Children Need Healthy Boundaries To Make It In The Real World As Adults

Today’s kids are emotionally incapable of performing at their best in school, and in social situations.

There are a few factors contributing to this we need to take into account. Here are some of the issues:

Technology

Kids nowadays do not get enough physical exercise. They spend most of their time with gadgets. This lack of exercise is extremely bad for their mental and physical health because it slows down their development.

Additionally, excessive use of technology may cause children to become dyslexic which can, in turn, cause their brains to not grasp information quickly enough.

The use of phones, tablets, video games, etc. can also emotionally detach children from their relatives, and the parents’ emotional presence is the single most important element for the healthy development of their brains. Unfortunately, we gradually deprive our children of this natural source of mental nourishment.

Social connections, outdoor activities, and more exercise are important for children’s development as they encourage positive behavior, and enable them to gain confidence.

Children get whatever they want anytime they ask for it

“I’m hungry!” – “Now we’ll stop to get you something.” “I’m bored” – “Here’s my phone, you can play with it.”

One of the key factors for future success is a person’s ability to delay gratification. We all strive to make our children happy, but in many cases, we only make them happy for a brief moment and increasingly unhappy in the long run. Those able to delay pleasures in life have a much higher ability to function in stressful situations. A child’s inability to delay gratification can often be observed in a classroom, at shopping centers, in restaurants, toy shops, at the moment the child hears the word “No” because parents have taught its brain it can get anything it wants on the spot.

  • “My son doesn’t like vegetables”,
  • “She doesn’t like to have breakfast”,
  • “He doesn’t like going to sleep early”,
  • “She doesn’t like toys but she’s great with the I-Pad”,
  • “He doesn’t like to dress on his own”, “She’s lazy to eat on her own”.

These are some of the things you’ll hear many parents say. But when did children become in charge of how they’re being raised? How do we help them when we let them do the things we consciously understand are bad for them? We teach them that they can do whatever they want, and they are free to neglect doing the things they don’t like. Unfortunately, in order to reach our goals in life, we have to do the necessary things to get there, whether we feel like doing them or not. Our children may know well what kind of person they would want to become one day, but if we fail to teach them how to make sacrifices, they might never reach their destination.

Unlimited play time

We’ve created a world of unending fun for our children. The moment we see them being bored, we run to entertain them. By doing otherwise, we think, we are not fulfilling our duty as parents. We live in two separate worlds. They are in their “world of amusement”, while we are in our “world of work”. But why shouldn’t they help around the kitchen, or do the laundry with us? Why shouldn’t they clean their own rooms and put their toys in order (assuming they have any physical toys)? This is monotonous work which trains the brain to work in times of boredom. It’s a “muscle” that has to be trained and developed in order for children to be able to assimilate the lessons they learn in school.  When kids are given a writing task, for example, they’ll say: “I can’t, it’s too difficult and boring.” Why? Because the work “muscle” is not being developed by never-ending times of fun, but by learning how to do work.

What you can do

Limit their use of technology and connect with them on an emotional level

Share a laugh with them, tickle them, leave them a caring note in their lunch box, take them out for lunch, dance together, play together, have a pillow fight, play board games, go out for an evening walk with flashlights.

Practice delaying gratification 

Teach them how to wait. Gradually expand the time between “I want”, and “I get”. Avoid using technology in the car, the restaurant, and instead teach them to talk and do wordplay while waiting. Limit their junk food consumption in between proper meals.

Don’t be afraid to put boundaries. Children need boundaries to grow happy and healthy

Make a schedule for eating, sleeping, time for computer games, and watching cartoons. Think about what’s good for them, not what they currently desire. They will be grateful to you for that later on in their lives. Raising children is difficult. We need to be creative, in order to do what’s best for them, because, most of the time this will be the opposite of what they want. Children need breakfast and nourishing food. They need to spend time outdoors and to go to bed early, in order to be capable to perform in school the next morning. Turn the things they don’t like doing into an emotionally stimulating and fun experience.

Teach them to do monotonous work at an early age, because this will be a key component in their working life one day

Folding the laundry, sorting their toys, putting clothes on hangers, sorting the groceries, doing the table, and their bed, for example. Be innovative. Make them view these tasks as games.

Teach them social skills

Teach them the value of sharing, how to win and how to accept defeat, how to make compromises, and how to compliment people.

You can help your children to become tougher, smarter, and more resilient, so when they leave the house one day, they’ll be able to face the world with the skills and courage needed to succeed. Children’s attitude towards life can change the moment parents’ change their attitude towards parenting. Their future is in your hands.

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