Something is definitely missing in a lot of relationships these days, causing them to falter at an astonishing rate.
What is it?
It seems that relationships these days lack direction.
People “date,” but what does that even mean anymore? Is it hanging out four times a month? Texting all day? Kissing here and there? Don’t get me wrong, I’m no relationship expert, but I am witnessing the same repetitive pattern in the relationship of the people around me.
Their days seem to run like this:
Early morning wake up, the day ahead starts with whatever morning routine that normally involves scrolling through the social media newsfeed’s, nosing into everyone else’s life, and maybe just maybe sending a good morning text to your squeeze before heading off to work, after having looked at his/her page too. They watched the ‘Sons of Anarchy’ without me, dislike.
Knowing the other one is probably still in bed and to avoid a discussion you send a text message: “Good morning, sweetie. thinking of you. I hope you have a wonderful day.”
This text serves as two reminders: You want him/her to know (s)he’s the first thing on your mind. And, more importantly, (s)he needs to realize that, regardless of how stressful or busy your days are, (s)he’s the priority.
It sounds so perfect, but that’s not reality. The truth is that social media voyeurism and busy lives are really taking the ding out of our relationships.
We’ve accepted so many unacceptable things: publishing every minute of our lives on social media, sitting at the table with our phones out, texting our emotions then arguing or falling out over them.
Do you know what trumps all that?
That society has accepted relationships in which we are being cheated on every day.
The cheating I am talking about here isn’t having sex with another person but its how you are connecting with a person in an intimate situation while you are going about your life, loving and caring for said person.
Sure, sex is cheating and may be the most hurtful case, but have you ever stopped to think you’re being cheated out of your relationship every day?
Relationships thrive on communication. Our most intimate emotions should be reserved for the person we love, so how is it acceptable to never show them and to flaunt them instead to the rest of the world? We experience a lack of communication, attention, passion, intimacy and even lack of love. Why have we decided that this is Ok and have allow it to become the norm?
Webster’s Dictionary defines cheating as the deprivation of “something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud.”
This type of cheating causes much more damage than that of any sexual affair, it is long-term and becomes a habit, a way of being and that which we allow becomes the measure of how we see ourselves.
Is it acceptable to have to beg for the attention of someone you’ve given your heart to someone and love him or her with every bone in your body. You sit back and watch this person post status updates about useless things, or post pictures just so people can comment.
You need to take a minute to tell her she’s beautiful or he’s wonderful. Call her after work to say, “Get dressed in 30 minutes. I’m picking you up and taking you somewhere special.” Or tell him to come around to yours for a delicious home cooked meal followed by dancing.
Make an effort. Old-fashioned love needs to make another round. I’m seriously holding out for it, I believe it will prevail. The days of holding hands, opening the car door, sending flowers “just because,” romantic displays just to get a smile and leaving handwritten notes should never be gone.
We have to start all over again when it comes to love.
We have to be open and free. That can’t happen when we’re preoccupied with the details of everyone else’s lives or looking for approval elsewhere. Focus on each other. When it’s all said and done, that’s all you really have.
Appreciate your partner, and show them how much they mean to you. But, most importantly, put your phone down, stop looking at Facebook and look into the face in front of you. It might be the one.