Emotional violence is another kind of abuse … it’s not about words because an emotionally abusive person doesn’t always resort to using the verbal club, but rather the verbal untraceable poison.
– Augusten Burroughs
Emotional abuse is also referred to as psychological or mental abuse.
Its function is to belittle, isolate, shame and control others into subservience. It happens incrementally over time, and in the end, the victim’s sense of self-worth and own way of thinking erode into submission.
If you happen to suspect that you might be a victim of emotional abuse you should consider abandoning ship.
Here are 7 brutally honest truths about emotional abusers you should look out for:
1. You are constantly being put down
This is one of the key tools of emotional abusers. It includes humiliation, excessive mockery of the partner by using sarcasm, or “teasing” to put them down. They constantly demean and disregards the opinions of their partner, as well as their needs and feelings. This happens in closed doors as well as in public.
The abuser may threaten to expose you in a way they know will embarrass you, or they may threaten to take something important from you, such as your house, your money, or even your children. Some will threaten to ditch you if you don’t do what they want, or they may say they will reveal your deepest secret for everyone to know.
Emotional abusers have a deep-seeded need to control their partner. The abuser will try to make the victim feel as if they are unable to make their own decisions. They withhold both emotional and sexual attention as a way of punishing or scaring their partner into submission. In addition, they try to control the finances, as a way of making their partner dependent on them.
4. No respect for privacy
This one can come off as fairly subtle. Your partner may be checking your texts or calls, either by doing it without your knowledge or by insisting you give them immediate access so they can “catch you in the act”.
They could even ask you to delete your own social media account and create a shared one with them so they can monitor everything.
Gaslighting is a psychological weapon the abuser uses to get the victim to doubt their own feelings, memories, judgement and even sanity. They use a number of different forms of manipulation accusing the victim of being “oversensitive,” reversing the blame and putting it onto their partner, and total denial of any wrongdoing on their own part.
Abusers often try to control who you can see or talk to, and how deep those connections are allowed to run. This means that, at some point, you may feel as if you have lost the most supportive people in your life because your partner did not approve of them.
7. They are needy and can be emotionally unpredictable
Abusers are often emotionally unstable and may suffer from untreated mood disorder. This includes being emotionally unavailable and distant. Their mood swings may include neediness, manipulation, and obsessive control.
We hope that these signs have helped you recognize an emotional abuser. Let us know your thoughts on the subject in the comment section and please share this article if you’ve found it of value.