Bride kicks out cancer survivor bridesmaid out of her wedding party because she didn’t want “someone with a bald head” in the photos
A cancer survivor shared a heartbreaking story of what a bride did to make sure only those she deemed visually pleasing took part in her wedding photo shoot.
The Reddit user who goes by the nickname bridesmaidwoes123 wrote the following:
“I am very good friends with the bride to be, lets call her Karen for simplicity. She got engaged about 1.5 years ago and immediately asked me to be a bridesmaid which I was thrilled about (she was my maid of honor for context). To make a long story short I got some real bad news in the past year and had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy.”
The condition caused her hair to shed completely and she said that it was very short in her message, shared about half a year ago.
Karen, who she says is a nurse, supported her through the ordeal and in her efforts to keep her spirits high.
“About 2 weeks ago Karen called me and told me she was going to take me out to celebrate my remission and end of treatment and had a special surprise for me. I agree and we meet up,” the woman wrote. “We go to a spa which was super nice and enjoy some skin treatments, massages, and general pampering. At the end of the day she takes me to a special hair salon which specializes in high quality wigs. I am a little taken aback by this because Karen knows that a lot of the work I have been involves psychological treatment in cancer patients and avoiding the shame associated with hair loss for instance. I politely go through the appointment and even try on some wigs although I was quite upset honestly.”
The bride suggested choosing a wig for her but the woman politely declined, and in the end, she just wanted to move on from the experience.
Eventually, Karen called her and told her that she was disinvited from the bridal party because the minister thought there was not enough space for everyone.
“This completely floors me because basically I am her number 2 girl after her sister (who she barely gets a long with),” she wrote. “I call around and it although some of the other bridesmaids are reluctant to tell me anything hint at the fact that Karen was worried about how the pictures are going to look with someone with a bald head.”
“I was so upset, I tried to call her but she did not respond. I am thinking I am may not go to the wedding but want to make sure I am not overthinking this. Her wedding is in 2 weeks.”
In a later update, the woman wrote that she talked with the bride, who then said that her lack of hair was not the reason for her being left out.
“…I still think that was the reason,” she said. “Her wedding is actually in a few hours. I told her that I wasn’t going to go. I did tell her that I was upset with her and that I hope one day she can look back and see that she was being selfish. Sadly she told me more or less that I was being selfish.”
One of the people in the comments said the following:
“…I think brides like this ought to just cancel their weddings and host fancy photo shoots instead. It’s all about the pictures for them. To hell with friends, family, the comfort of guests, etc… It sucks to lose a friend. But then again, she doesn’t really seem like a friend at this point. The phrase, ‘when people show you who they are, believe them’ comes to mind.”
“I thought the point of wedding photos was to serve as a wonderful memory years down the line, but apparently it’s just to look ‘right’ when you show strangers.”
A third commented:
“Wig shopping after cancer treatment seems like something super personal to me. I think Karen should have discussed this with you, before she took you to this shop and tried to buy you a wig. She crossed a boundary here by trying to change your look and your body, when you’ve just been through an experience where you didn’t have control over your own body. Does that make sense?”
And another congratulated the woman for her strength and her recovery:
“Wouldn’t having a healthy friend in her wedding be a great gift? You’re a warrior. Screw the wig. Also, as a minister’s kid, I can safely say that ministers know enough to not stick their noses into bridal planning. So she’s a shit liar and a shit friend.
Congrats on remission!”
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