Narcissists are everywhere – in the office, at school, or in the gym.
At work, you will probably find them sitting in a spacious corner office, while the rest of the workforce is crammed in a myriad of cubicles.
At school, the narcissist is seldom the bully in class. Look for him among the top graders, instead. In fact, anything less than graduation with magna cum laude is regarded by the natural-born narcissist as a complete failure.
In the gym…Well, you simply can’t miss them. For one thing, these guys know how to stand out in the crowd and cut a figure.
It’s a Lonely Planet for The Narcissist
For many psychologists and analysts, narcissists are masters of disinformation and sowing doubts. Moreover, people with prominent narcissistic character traits are believed to possess strong brainwashing powers.
In view of the above information, it is not a surprise that while narcissistic people may be surrounded by a tireless bevy of admirers and followers, they oftentimes have few, if any, true friends.
Like them or not, one simply cannot neglect the fact that narcissists are usually successful people. Here’ why.
We are emotional beings. Well, narcissists seem to possess better awareness of this fact than most other people do.
As a result, when trying to win you over, they’ll always be looking for your soft spot.
If, for example, they find out you’ve been hiding a skeleton in the cupboard, they will not hesitate to rattle its bones every time they need your services.
Example: “I’ll always know what you did last summer!”
2. Peer Pressure
Narcissists are especially successful in manipulating those who are susceptible to peer pressure.
Their victims are usually people who literary live in social networks such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
To resist, just get a life outside Facebook and learn to lead, not to follow!
Example: “Follow your flock of friends, they all say I’m right!”
3. Us vs Them
Remember Master Yoda’s famous line “The Dark Side clouds everything! Impossible to see the future is”?
Well, this situation is heaven for the narcissist, who is always trying to convince his victims in that the world is either black or white.
In fact, it’s neither. The world’s actually grey.
Example: “If you aren’t with me, you’re against me.”
4. I Can Do No Wrong
Whatever a narcissist does, they’d rather die than admit defeat or failure. This has to do with their overwhelming feeling of superiority over the others.
And when they happen to make a mistake, they are swift in shifting the responsibility to their closest associates.
In other words, you don’t want a narcissist among your colleagues. The situation becomes even worse, if you have to deal with a narcissistic boss.
The most straightforward survival strategy that comes to my mind is: Don’t fuel their narcissism. To put it more simply, avoid kissing your narcissistic boss’s…. you know what.
Example: “I am always right and, if you think I am not, you just don’t get it!”
5. The power of Sweet Talking
If there is one thing that narcissists possess natural awareness of, it’s the subversive power of sweet-talking.
It logically follows, then, that one of the reasons for their success in life, for, as we established above, there are quite a few narcissists among the richest and most influentiall people in the world, is their almost supernatural ability to talk their way through difficult or awkward situations.
When talking to a narcissist, always try to listen beyond the heaps of superlatives that they are throwing at you. The truth behind it is oftentimes far more sinister, even shocking.
Example: “Of course, I am not underestimating your intelligence!”
6. There’s Nothing I Can’t Understand
One of the most distinguishing traits of a narcissistic character is their profound conviction in their own ineffability.
In some most extreme cases of narcissism, the person may even question the existence of any phenomenon that goes beyond their understanding.
Worse still, they are always trying to convince those around them that the entity in question does not exist, or that a particular incident never actually happened.
Example: “You seriously think this is true? I thought you were smarter!”
7. Masters of Disinformation
Narcissists usually thrive in environments imbued with labels, blackmail and double-talk. Not surprisingly, many of the most successful spymasters in history were also proven narcissists.
They are also particularly useful on PR teams, especially if some major election is coming.
Example: Dīvide et Imperā
Narcissist just love pinning labels on people or things. Thus, for example, a narcissist may start calling you names, as soon as they sense their influence on you is weakening. In this way they are trying to subvert your self-confidence.
Example: “You’re a pathetic loser!”
9. Narcissists Are Cheeky
Suppose you lent your narcissistic friend 100 pounds. It shouldn’t surprise you if, after quite some time and with a frank smile on their face, they offered to give you back 50 pounds and forget about the remainder.
Example: “50 pounds is 50 pounds, better than nothing!”
10. I Promise!
This is probably the narcissist’s favorite phrase! If they need your services, they’ll promise you the world in return.
In reality, they do not have the slightest intention to keep their word, and if you confront them about it later, things may turn really ugly.
Example: “I’ll make up to you, I promise!”
11. Whatever You Say Will Be Used Against You
When talking to your narcissistic friend, you should really weigh each word, because they may easily use what you said against you.
With that in mind, you’ better distance yourself from such “friends” of yours.
What Else To Watch For?
In addition to the abovementioned manipulative strategies that narcissists use to manipulate the people around them, you should also be watching for other mind-hacks such as sarcasm, generalizations exaggeration. Last but not least, narcissists just love hiding behind pompous slogans.