What is attraction? What makes us attractive to other people? According to the late, highly-acclaimed author and motivational speaker Dr. Wayne Dyer, “The law of attraction is this: You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.” The most important part of attracting others is to be who we are, confident in ourselves and aware that we will attract what we put into the world. So how do we increase our attractiveness, ensure that we draw in the people we want in our lives?
While the factors that contribute to attractiveness are myriad and diverse, science has shown that 7 simple rules govern our attractiveness. Not surprisingly, they have nothing to do with conventional cultural norms of “looks” or “beauty”:
Put on your happy face.
Studies have shown that attractiveness and emotional expression are interrelated: that is, when you smile, you become genuinely more attractive. This particular study showed, furthermore, that women in particular are more attractive when they smile. So something as simple as your smile can signal the commencement of your attractiveness to others.
Cultivate your musical senses.
This study showed that composers whose work is more complex and layered are gauged as more attractive than those whose pieces are simpler. Furthermore, women were more likely to desire a long-term relationship with a composer whose pieces were more complex. Appreciating a diverse variety of music, learning a new instrument, or otherwise getting more involved musically could be key to opening your attraction potential.
Consider extreme sports.
Extreme sports strengthen both mind and body in requiring rapid-fire responses and razor-sharp sensibilities. Extreme sports such as rock climbing, mountain biking, and scuba diving cultivate the senses in ways that reflect the “hunter-gatherer” reflexes, which are responsible for stimulating sexual attraction.
Hone your sense of humor.
It’s a widely-respected social truism, but multiple scientific studies back the understanding that a sense of humor is key to attractiveness. Even something as simple as telling a joke to your friends increases the likeliness of scoring the phone number of the object of your affection.
Surround yourself with awesomeness.
Having great friends increases our attractiveness exponentially: not only are we more attractive as the center of a vibrant social scene, but we are being constantly challenged, loved, reinforced and supported by our friends. In one 2014 study, people were asked to look at photos of men & women alone & surrounded by friends. They overwhelmingly selected those surrounded by friends as more attractive. Having a few wingmen or wingwomen, as it turns out, is a pretty great idea.
Open up more
Conversing is important, but it’s what you talk about that creates the make-or-break difference in attractiveness. A significant study in the late nineties showed that greater attraction was cultivated between people whose conversations were deeper than between those who engaged in small talk. One pair even fell in love during their deep conversations.
Availability is your most attractive trait
Our attractiveness skyrockets with our readiness for deep emotional connections, and the more ready we are, the more attractive we are. Research has shown that when we are emotionally available we attract partners with whom we develop deep connections and emotional intimacy.
These 7 simple guidelines free us from the burdens of the egoic self and allow us to develop as truly attractive human beings. Are you ready to increase your attractiveness, and open up to the people you truly want in your life? Dr. Dyer’s post on Manifesting 101 may be a great jumping-off point with some concrete advice on how to get what you want.