Does a wedding cost more than a loved one’s life?
Weddings can be incredibly expensive, so postponing them might be quite overwhelming. But what if the reason for delaying a wedding is the loss of a loved one?
This man was about to marry his fiancée when he found out his beloved grandmother, who had raised him, had only a few days left before she passed away. He immediately dropped everything to be by her side during her last days. While this benevolent gesture seems like the right thing to do in such a heart-tearing situation, the man’s significant other got furious about having to postpone the wedding.
Since the man has never had a healthy relationship with his biological mother, his grandmother was the mother figure in his life. He cherished and loved her too much to leave her alone in such a distressing time, so he told his fiancée they should push the wedding a few days ahead.
Not knowing whether he did the right thing by posting his wedding to be by his dying grandmother’s side, the man asked Reddit users:
“AITA for skipping my own wedding to see my dying grandma?”
*AITA – Am I the a**hole
In the post, he said:
“I have always and will always consider my grandma my real “mother” because she raised me and cared for me all my life.”
He then goes on to disclose that he and his uncles had to put his grandma in a care home, as she suffered from “a lot of age-related health issues as well as dementia.”
Suddenly, only a few days before his wedding, he received a call from the care home saying that his grandmother’s condition was rapidly deteriorating. Doctors told him she “most likely would pass away in the next day or so.” Upon learning this tragic news, he and his uncles rushed to the care home to be by her side, as Lessons Learned in Life notes.
The man continued;
“I called my fiancée multiple times and explained we had to postpone the wedding. Not only was I not in the best state of mind (again, she’s my mother to me) but I needed to be by her side when she passed. I felt sick at the idea of not being there when I could.”
Shockingly, instead of supporting her future husband in such a soul-crushing time, the bride-to-be lashed out at him for delaying the wedding.
“My fiancée was extremely (to put it mildly) opposed to this and insisted I get ready as soon as possible. She obviously did not want months of planning to go to waste, and I understand that it definitely sucks. She also said there was no point in me being there since she won’t even know I’m there due to her dementia. I understand why it might seem like that to her, but to me it didn’t matter if she realised I was there or not. I just felt I had to be there with my uncles.”
The grandmother died on the night of her grandson’s wedding, which never occurred. Although the man remained in a relationship with his fiancée, the couple never got married.
Sadly, along with the grief of losing his beloved grandmother, the man also had to deal with his partner’s rage. He revealed:
“My fiancée didn’t talk to me for roughly two weeks before we finally began patching things up. She said I was completely a**holish to her and humiliated her by not showing up. She thinks that as my fiancée she should take top priority no matter what.”
However, the man added:
“My opinion is that weddings can be rescheduled (albeit costly) and being with my grandma when she passed was more important.”
Here’s what thousands of Reddit users had to say.
The majority of commenters agreed the man was not in the wrong for postponing the wedding to be by his dying grandmother’s side.
“I think your grandma was pulling through for you one last time, showing you the selfish ass your fiancée could be before it was too late. The woman who raised you and made you who you are was on her death bed. Of course you had to be there. Had you gone with your fiancées wishes and got married, you would’ve had an awful day. The worst phone call on your wedding night, its supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Personally I would’ve always resented my other half for stopping me from being there. You need a wife who will stand by your side through your most difficult times, realise your wedding can be rearranged. Your final moments with your nearest and dearest, cannot.”
“If you had done the wedding, it would have been the biggest regret of your life. And you would have hated the wedding itself and, ultimately, likely resented her as well. She was putting her very narrow interests over your well being and honoring someone important to you.”
“Your grandma did one good thing for you before she left: she showed you the true colors of your girlfriend.”
What is your opinion about this story? Was the man right for delaying his wedding to be by his grandma’s side during her last few days? Was his fiancée wrong for getting mad at him? Let us know in the comment section!