Almost relationships: 6 things to know before getting too attached
Do you feel like you’re only half-way there? Are your emotions changing from letting you believe you’re head over heels for someone to making you doubt you have a future with that person?
The truth is that casual relationships are not everyone’s cup of tea.
For instance, those prone to getting attached too easily should avoid engaging in such an almost relationship at any cost. Their precious little hearts will be torn into pieces once reality strikes, and they realize the other person was never as emotionally invested as them.
But if you’re looking for someone you can have fun with for a while, without taking any responsibilities, a casual relationship is just what you need. There are no strings attached, no broken promises, no expectations. Just, please, make sure you and your partner are on the same page. If you’re not sure an almost relationship is right for you, better be honest with yourself.
Here are 6 things you need to consider before getting involved in an almost relationship:
1. Make up your mind.
The first thing you need to do is decide for yourself whether you want to fully commit to this person, or you just want to have fun. Do you expect the connection between you two to turn into a relationship, or do you simply enjoy that special someone’s company and nothing else? Are your feelings for them real and all-consuming? Once you make up your mind and figure out what you want, you need to communicate it with the one involved. Otherwise, you’re doing nothing but playing with their feelings.
2. Set clear boundaries and guard them well.
Every relationship, even an almost one, needs boundaries. You and your partner both need to know what lines you should never cross. Whenever there’s an issue between you two, regardless of its size, you must talk it through. If you don’t set defined limits, your partner wouldn’t know whether their actions are fine by you, or they are crossing a certain line. Therefore, being angry at your significant other for disrespecting boundaries they have no idea about is simply unthoughtful.
3. Know when to say ‘No!’
Being able to stand up for yourself and refuse to follow someone else’s rules when they defy your personal boundaries is crucial. On the contrary, complying with your partner’s needs only to avoid conflicts is never a wise decision. To avoid being part of an almost relationship, you need to know when to say ‘No!’ and when it’s okay to make a compromise. Never forget that romantic bonds need to be based on partnership, not ownership.
4. Be real with yourself.
If you already know that this relationship of yours has no future, pretending to have a deep connection to that person will only sadden you. You know there is no commitment, nor devotion between you two, so be real with yourself and stop denying the obvious. The longer you ignore the truth, the longer you’re wasting time fooling yourself. So instead of lying to yourself, better tell yourself the bitter truth and move on.
5. Never let yourself lose self-respect.
Even if you’re in an almost relationship and you are fine with things the way they are, never sacrifice your self-respect for the sake of this bond. You are free to walk away from anything that doesn’t serve you. Neglecting your feelings, needs, and emotions only to make the other person happy should never cross your mind. No one has the right to mistreat and disrespect you, regardless of what kind or stage your relationship is at. Fight for what you know you deserve and never lose self-respect. The right one will never force you to settle for anything less.
6. Avoid engaging in typical couple activities.
If you know your relationship is temporary from the start, doing things that long-term couples usually do might hurt your feelings. Pretending to have a deep connection to someone who’s not planning to stay in your life will hurt much more than a heartbreak after they leave. In case you know that things will eventually come to an end and both of you are on the same page about that, being too emotionally invested will crush you once the reality hits. Most importantly, if you are someone that easily gets attached, please spare yourself the pain and never engage in an almost relationship in the first place.