7 ways Toxic People manipulate you and how to deal with them
Each and every one of us has faced toxic people and knows what they are capable of.
Their poisonous influence has made many of us question our reality and even our self-worth. We constantly get hurt by the ones we trust the most, refusing to believe their toxicity is the reason for our pain.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if we knew what traits to look out for before getting involved with such individuals? Well, this might be quite possible to achieve.
Here are 7 ways toxic people try to manipulate you.
1. They will show more than one versions of themselves around you.
One day, they will be absolutely charming and easygoing, and the next, they will give you the silent treatment as if you have done something to upset them. These constant mood shifts will have you wondering whether you have done something wrong or said something inappropriate. This way, they will get under your skin, manipulating you into doing whatever they want just to make them happy.
In such cases, the best thing you could do is nothing. Stop trying to please their needs. If you fear you might have truly hurt their feelings somehow, ask them directly. And if they refuse to give you a straight answer, walk away and leave them alone with their toxicity.
2. They will project their own feelings on you.
Manipulative people often act as if their feelings are actually yours. By doing so, they run away from taking responsibility for their emotions. Instead, they hold you responsible for the way they feel. And if your mind is fragile enough, you might believe it’s all your fault.
One thing you can try when someone blames you for feelings that are not yours is to be clear about your position regarding the particular situation. And if that doesn’t work, remember that you are not obligated to justify yourself or deal with false accusations.
3. They will make you prove your loyalty.
A toxic person will often make you choose between staying loyal to them and something or someone else that also matters to you. Somehow, you will always feel compelled to choose them. This way, they would make sure you are not going anywhere, and they can continue playing mind games with you as long as they please.
If you are regularly put in such an unpleasant position, you might need to reevaluate your priorities. Being there for your friends and family is important, but if it makes you lose yourself, it might not be worth it.
4. They never apologize.
This toxic trait can be observed in people with intense narcissistic characteristics. Instead of apologizing for their mistakes and taking responsibility for the consequences, they twist the facts so that they seem innocent. They would often blame you for pushing them into acting irrational. Sadly, most of the times, they might succeed in convincing you it was all your fault.
You need to remember that someone can still be wrong even without apologizing. Besides, you are capable of moving on without waiting for an apology from someone who clearly has no intention to provide it.
5. They will use non-toxic language with a toxic intonation.
When conversating with such individuals, the tone they use can reveal their true intentions. Simple phrases can have different meanings. For instance, when they ask you about your day, they might imply that theirs was awful and you didn’t care enough to ask them. They might also emphasize the fact that you weren’t as productive as you should have been. So, a simple “How was your day?” said in a toxic tone can actually ruin your day.
Learning how to distinguish genuine from mean intonation will help you tremendously in identifying toxic people.
6. They will make it about the way you are talking to switch up the roles.
When the conversation becomes serious, and they cannot come up with anything to make themselves seem innocent, they would attack you about irrelevant things such as the way you are talking. Тhis way, they will shift your focus from the major issue and will win some time to figure out a way to avoid being held accountable for their own actions. Within seconds you will find yourself defending the severity of your tone while being completely distracted from the initial problem you were confronting them about.
Make sure you never lose focus when it comes to confronting others for issues they have caused themselves. If you notice someone is trying to distract you, stand up for yourself and don’t let them make you look like the bad guy when you were the one who got hurt in the first place.
7. They will judge every single thing you do.
Being judgemental 24/7 is toxic. Anyone who intentionally ruins others’ self-esteem by making mean comments about them and talking dirt behind their backs is toxic. Let that sink in. Even if this toxicity is not aimed towards you, when you spot someone being judgy all the time, make sure you run as far away as possible from them.
We are all human beings. We are all flawed. Pointing out someone’s imperfections and making fun of them is simply disgraceful. You don’t need such people in your life.