It’s easy to get stuck in a bad relationship. In the best of cases, we get too lazy and comfortable to make a move. In the worst, we lose our sense of self entirely.
If your relationship is bringing you down instead of building you up, it is possible you’re stuck with a partner who doesn’t deserve you.
It may be time to let them go. “There’s always a moment that separates the past from the future, and that moment is now,” wrote Aniekee Tochukwu Ezekiel.
Here are seven signs that your partner doesn’t deserve you:
1. You can’t depend on them.
Some people do naturally run a bit late, or suffer from poor organizational abilities. However, if it feels like your partner is constantly letting you down, you may want to find someone with more maturity. A partner who keeps their commitments is showing you respect and proving that you can trust them. The deeper your emotional investment in this relationship becomes, the more important this will be.
2. They make you feel small.
Whether they do so intentionally or by accident, a partner who makes you feel unimportant is not worth keeping around. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel valued and respected. A relationship in which this is not the case can eat away at your self-esteem and cause you to forget how wonderful you are. Find someone who makes you feel even better about yourself than you did on your own.
3. You constantly have to apologize for their behavior.
We all make mistakes. However, if your partner has a habit of unapologetically offending your loved ones, something is wrong. This may or may not be intentional – but it isn’t a good sign. If you often find yourself apologizing for your partner’s bad behavior, either they are unaware of it or they simply don’t care about the consequences. Neither of these indicates a healthy relationship.
4. They give more than they take.
Both giving and taking are important in forming a loving relationship. Unfortunately, this dynamic can sometimes end up being one-sided. If your partner always seems to be the one receiving, it may be time to let them go. A person who values you will cherish in giving you their time, gifts, and affection. A person who withholds these – but is happy to take yours – may be using you.
5. You feel bored when you are with them.
A healthy relationship is not defined only by trust and respect. Those things are the fundamental building blocks, but they only lay the foundation. A good relationship should also be stimulating. You need a partner who inspires you, engages you, and helps you to live your best life. If you are not having fun together, you need to work on this problem or call it quits.
6. They cheat on you.
Cheating is not always clear-cut. It can be physical or emotional. It can be a one-time fling or an ongoing affair. No matter what form it takes, infidelity is a violation of your trust and a massive form of disrespect. If you are not able to trust your partner, you can not build a safe relationship. If your partner does not treat you with respect, they are not capable of contributing to a loving partnership. Either way, they need to go.
7. They lie to you.
An emotional betrayal can be even more devastating than a physical one. When your partner lies to you, they are showing you that they do not trust and value you as an equal. Most often, a partner will lie because they have decided to do something they know you will disapprove of.
By choosing not to come clean, they are saying that your feelings, your sense of emotional safety, and in fact your entire relationship, are not valued.
“Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters,” wrote John Mark Green. If your relationship fits into one of the categories above, you may want to find dry land. It’s not too late to keep from drowning.
