Parents are vastly responsible for a child’s early development. They teach us how to behave, how to distinguish right from wrong, how to treat other people, and many other essential things that form our personality from the very first day we are born. So, when a parent is being abusive and toxic, their child inevitably suffers the consequences in one way or another.
While most of the time, children raised by careless parents struggle with severe mental health issues, sometimes, they learn essential life lessons they would not be able to acquire in different settings.
Here are 5 crucial truths unloving parents accidentally teach us.
1. Unconditional love is priceless.
Believe it or not, some children grow up believing that in order to receive love from their parents, they must first do something to earn it. In their fragile minds, love is the award they get for behaving as their moms and dads consider properly. Otherwise, they don’t deserve the cares and attention they so desperately crave. Only when you are loved for who you are, and not for what you did, you realize that real love doesn’t cost a thing. It is priceless. Sadly, sometimes this valuable realization comes way past childhood. But knowing what love isn’t is also a way of figuring out what love is.
Growing up in a competitive environment usually instills envy and jealousy in children’s minds. When it comes to young girls following their mothers’ footsteps, material things obsession often prevails. They develop a mindset revolving around the idea that the more expensive items you have, the better. And if someone has something nicer, you must top them, or else, you would inevitably feel worthless.
Eventually, those who are convinced their value is estimated only by the things they possess start living life miserably, as there will always be someone who has a better version of what they have. Jealousy slowly destroys them from the inside. However, if they have the chance to see that appreciating what you have makes you happier than constantly comparing yourself to others, they would finally be able to take a breath of fresh air and become content with who they are and what they have already achieved.
3. Truth matters. Always.
If you have been raised by parents with toxic traits such as narcissism or gaslighting, you would have a different concept of the significance of truth than someone raised by a decent human being. Children who grow up amongst people who disregard sincerity often believe that telling a lie is absolutely normal. However, sooner or later, we all come to the realization that the truth always prevails, no matter how hard we try to deny it.
4. Abusive behavior sometimes hurts the abuser much more than the victim.
This is a truth we usually learn when we have already become experienced adults, and we have faced many tantrums throughout our lives. At one point, if we were raised by abusive parents, we realize that their toxic behavior was destroying them much more than it was harming us. Their need for control was eating them from the inside. And eventually, all the good traits they once had were replaced by bitterness and misery. While their victims – us, their children – are able to break free from their abuse, they are forced to live with it, as it comes from within their own minds.
5. Being raised by unloving parents helps you grow.
It may sound quite grim, but when you grow up in a toxic environment, the lessons you are forced to learn at a very young age shape you as a person. They help you develop valuable personal qualities not many adults have throughout their entire lives. When you are constantly faced with situations where you are unable to rely on your mother, your father, or any parental figure you may have, you must learn how to survive on your own. Therefore, you obtain traits such as independence, self-reliance, and confidence, which are especially helpful in certain areas of life.
The damage an unloving parent can do to an innocent child is undeniably harrowing. However, this hurtful experience often comes with valuable lessons, which are incredibly beneficial for your personal growth.
Do you believe that growing up with unloving parents can shape you as a person? Leave a comment to let us know.