Showing subtle signs of narcissism now and then is completely normal.
Sometimes we might make decisions based on our own comfort while forgetting that someone’s feelings might get hurt. But then we apologize for our mistakes and move on.
However, some people take these little narcissistic traits to a deeper level. In their attempts to prove everyone else their greatness, they fail to consider other people’s emotions. This often results in collateral damage, which cannot be undone.
So, how can you avoid crossing the line? How can you tell if you’re just showing some harmless narcissistic traits, or you’re an actual narcissist?
Here are 10 surprising signs you might be a narcissist.
1. Waiting makes you annoyed and anxious.
Patience is definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. No one likes to wait for that special phone call or for the pizza delivery guy. However, if you truly can’t stand not having everything you want exactly when you want it, this may indicate you’re a narcissist. In case you get extremely irritated and angry when things don’t go according to plan, you probably need to look for the problem within you instead of unintentionally hurting someone else.
2. Your stories are met with meaningless nods and yawns.
If every time you’re telling a story others look at you with blank stares and obvious boredom, it might be your selfishness that pushes people away. It’s a common trait for narcissists to turn every conversation about themselves. That’s just what you might be doing. If you intentionally turn every topic back to you, having narcissistic personality traits is quite possible.
3. People hardly ever take you seriously.
Narcissists have the annoying habit to always highlight their uniqueness, exaggerate everything they have accomplished, and even embellish the truth. They dive into numerous stories they often forget to follow. Sooner or later, their lies become too obvious. In case you often feel like you struggle to earn respect, this might be the reason.
4. You often feel neglected.
People who grow up to be narcissistic are usually the kids that struggle from early childhood negligence. Maybe their parents didn’t give them the attention they wanted, maybe their friends always had nicer things, maybe their first love treated them badly. Regardless of the reason, if the smallest things make you feel like someone is ignoring your needs, there might be an early trauma that triggers your current narcissistic behavior.
5. You expect everyone to put extra effort into making you happy.
If you believe others are obligated to make you happy and you demand them to always do so, this is a clear sign you’re a narcissist. As people who value nothing but their own wellbeing, these selfish individuals are convinced that every single person in their life is there to please their needs. And if someone fails to do so, they get furious as if this person owns them an explanation for not bending over backwards.
6. Every single relationship you had ended dramatically.
Perhaps, every person has experienced at least one bad breakup. But of all of your relationships ended horribly, maybe the problem is you. This may be classified as a ‘hard to swallow pill’, but if you can’t look even one of your exes in the eyes without feeling guilty, the reason for all your failed love stories is you and your narcissistic habits.
7. You always have to be right.
The desire to win in every single argument is undoubtedly one of the narcissists’ top toxic traits. Even when they are wrong, they try their best to convince the other party in their rightfulness. All these efforts to prove themselves right are a product of their desperate need to feel validated. Think about that next time you’re having an argument and you refuse to admit you’re wrong.
8. You don’t apologize after you hurt someone.
Another side of being a narcissist is the act of refusing to take responsibility. If you don’t feel the need to apologize when your actions or words have hurt someone’s feelings, you probably have little to no sense of empathy. This lack of thoughtfulness shows a disturbingly low level of decency, which is common for people with narcissistic personalities.
9. You surround yourself with the ‘perfect’ people.
A skilled narcissist always looks for the coolest people to hang out with. They scan through everyone in their orbit, and they choose the most intelligent, attractive, charming ones to get close to. While it’s perfectly fine to surround yourself with people who inspire you to be your best self, turning this into a game that will get you somewhere higher in the social hierarchy is far from okay.
10. You always steal the spotlight.
Do you love being the center of attention? Do you get excited when all eyes are on you? How do you feel when someone steals that attention away from you? Understandably, no one likes to have their special moment of fame taken away. However, narcissists have no problem stealing the spotlight and making it all about themselves. They love being the star of every show and will do anything to get there, even if they have to hurt someone on the way.
Everyone shows slight narcissistic sides of their personality from time to time.
What we need to be mindful of is not to let these unpleasant habits get out of hand. Relating to more than one of these signs doesn’t necessarily mean you are an actual narcissist, but it does show you need to do some serious reevaluation of the way you treat others.
