For many girls, love is like the most exciting and highly addictive game.
One that challenges each of their five senses, and puts their intuition to the ultimate test. As far as simple logic is concerned, in a relationship with a man you should be able to take as much love and affection as you give him.
In reality, many women feel they’ve been duped into giving their men far more love and affection than the one they get from them in exchange. It is this emotional imbalance that I am going to discuss and offer a solution to in this article.
Like all perfect things, true love is natural
No man-made structure is perfect. No matter how hard we may try, or what technologies we may have developed, creations of man can only remotely resemble what nature creates without an effort. In this path of thought, if a man does not feel love for you, there’s little you can do to change this state of affairs.
You can buy yourself a pair of expensive shoes, a dazzling dress, and a stylish purse to match them, but you can’t buy the love of a real man. The earlier in your life you understand this,, the happier you’ll be. Even if you manage to draw him close to you by offering him various material things in exchange, your relationship is hardly likely to withstand the tests of time.
It is even worse, if it does. There are matches made in heaven, and ones made in hell. The one I’ve been talking about is of the latter kind. The more you try to create the perfect conditions and environment for your man so that he can start loving you, the more exhausted and frustrated you are likely to feel in the end.
Find a more useful direction to channel your energy
One of the common delusions girls fall for is that a man’s love and affection can be won through loyalty, faithfulness and readiness to make compromises within reasonable limits. Another one is that they have to fight for their love with tooth and nail.
In fact, no matter how much energy you put in this cause, there is absolutely no way in which you can make a man appreciate all your sacrifices, and accept you in his life as his one and only. Such behavior on your part may evoke in him feelings of pity, compassion, even uneasiness, but certainly not love.
The worst thing about the situation I described above is that the longer you are in it, the smaller your chances to meet the right man for you get. All of the positive and creative energy that you’ve been putting into your relationship with a man who doesn’t really love you is wasted.
Instead of chasing a man you just can’t reach, why don’t you pursue a master’s degree, or a
Even if you get some love from him, you certainly deserve more
If you are persistent enough, you can get yourself into a relationship with your “Mr. Perfect.” However, instead of filling up your heart with joy and happiness, this new development should get you thinking.
First and foremost, you’ve got to figure it out for yourself if he isn’t with you for the sake of comfort and peace of mind alone. He may just be thinking that since this girl has been chasing him so hard for so long, he may eventually spend some time with her, until he finds a more attractive perspective.
If, for instance, your rich dad has bought you a cozy flat downtown, and your guy is a hard-up college student, he may even seize his chance and move in with you. However, what you see as a thriving relationship, for him will be nothing more than flatmates with benefits.
You see, even if you put him up in your flat, it is hardly likely that he will reciprocate with opening your heart for you. This is because human emotions and feelings are not based on logic, nor on reason. If they were, there wouldn’t be so many poems, novels and songs dedicate to this most powerful and overwhelming of all feelings a man can experience.
If I can’t have him, no one else will!
Chances are that having chased a man for a long time, in the end you will literally get obsessed with him, and this obsession may cloud your sober perception of reality. World literature from the Middle Ages onwards is full of many fine examples of how fast unrequited love can evolve into sheer hatred.
Now, the fact that a man just doesn’t love you does not make him a bad man, or a toxic man, or an asshole. He isn’t guilty of not loving you, and therefore he deserves no punishment. If you feel that you are getting obsessed with him in an unhealthy way, and that your obsession is about to cloud your sober judgement, please do not hesitate to see some counselling, or other professional help. Do not let these negative emotions overcome your entire personality. The world is big and there are so many things that can make you happy, or fill up your life with meaning.
Are you suffocated by your own love?
Let’s face it, sometimes one-sided love can be as suffocating as jealousy, if not a little more so. In fact, these two negative emotions usually go hand by hand. If you want to move on with your life, you’ve got to free your mind from the suffocating obsession for that man you’ve been calling love.
Open your eyes to the fact that it isn’t love, it’s never been, and it will never be. The correct terms to describe your feelings for that guy are obsession and fixation.
Once you accept this fact, the process of your self-healing can begin. To start with, think about your dignity. Think of how pathetic you may look in the eyes of your female friends.
Then there are the benefits you’ve missed. While obsessed with chasing the wrong man, you might have missed a few chances to start a better job, or get the promotion you’ve always wanted.
Also think about your nearest and dearest. While chasing a guy who’ve never wanted you, you’ve given them very little of your time and affection. And they are the ones who truly deserve it, not him!
A few closing words on reciprocated love, men and women
Towards the end of this article I’d like to emphasize once again how counterproductive it is to waste your time and energy on making a man fall in love with you. I strongly encourage you to look for true love elsewhere, or else you may get completely obsessed with your unreciprocated feelings for that guy.
There is no universal recipe for the perfect match, neither is there a universal explanation as to why some relationships work from the start, while others are stillborn. This is why we should accept the facts as they are and move on.
