Why being single is better than being in a toxic relationship, according to psychology

Which is better: Being in a toxic relationship or being single

Perhaps many would argue that being in a couple is much more rewarding than being alone. They would claim that it’s always better to come home to a loved one than to have no one. But what if that loved one is slowly destroying you? What if their behavior is detrimental to your mental health? Wouldn’t it be better to be alone and at peace than to be with someone who constantly makes you suffer?

Still, millions of people choose to stay in rotten relationships only because they fear they might end up alone. They believe that solitude will fill their days with sadness. In their minds, not having a partner will make them unworthy of respect in the eyes of others. So, to avoid such a social disaster, they prefer to stay in a toxic environment rather than take the risk of pursuing true happiness.

Аccording to a study conducted by the University of Ontario, 18% of people stay in relationships long past the expiration date because they are afraid of being single. 

Lead author Stephanie Spielmann comments:

“Those with stronger fears about being single are willing to settle for less in their relationships.”

It sure takes courage to leave your significant other behind for the sake of your own mental and physical wellbeing. But when this person does nothing but hurt you, this step is far from selfish. Instead, it becomes necessary.

Knowing where to go is fundamental for both you and your partner. It allows you to understand that your relationship has nothing more to give you. It gives you clarity on the way your spouse’s behavior is affecting your mental health. If the way they treat you only brings you pain, it is probably time for you to set yourself free from their toxicity.

A toxic relationship can make you experience severe anxiety issues, having you constantly wonder whether you were ever worthy of love.

Overthinking every little word that hurt your feelings and every single situation that made you feel insignificant can make you feel trapped in your own mind with no way out.

The fact that dealing with an abusive partner can affect your mental health has been examined by Whitehall II back in 1985. Along with the stress and anxiety-related problems those in toxic relationships struggle with, the study discovered that such people are also at great risk of developing cardiac trouble.

The researchers concluded that having negative close relationships, whether romantic or not, can also damage your physical health. Therefore, holding onto an unhealthy bond will bring you nothing but emotional and physical pain.

It appears that all signs point out the certainty that being alone is better than staying with an abusive partner. But if you are still not convinced that you are better on your own than with someone who doesn’t even care about you…

Here are 4 essential reasons why being single is much more worthwhile than being in a toxic relationship. 

1. Singles have more time. 

When you’re not in a couple, you have more time to do the things you love. You are free to practice your hobbies, indulge in self-care, or simply do nothing, without fearing that your toxic spouse might judge your choices. Moreover, you can spend time with your friends and family, not feeling guilty that you are leaving someone behind. Controlling partners are known for alienating you from the people you care for. Being single definitely saves you from such a tragic fate.

2. They take better care of their health.

If you tend to be the giver in your relationships, then you are a person who often neglects their wellbeing in order to take care of others. Whenever your partner falls ill, you go above and beyond to help them feel better. But when you are the one who needs to be taken care of, you usually deal with everything on your own or pretend you are okay only to avoid bothering your significant other. On the contrary, being single gives you the time and energy to watch over your health. You can focus on maintaining a wholesome lifestyle that works for you, without having to consider someone else’s needs.

3. Singles are better at saving and making money. 

Being coupled up means having to pay double bills. But if you are on your own, you don’t have such an anxiety-triggering problem because you spend your money on the things that only you use. Besides, you can focus on your education or career and work your way up to success without having someone holding you back. Toxic partners often force you to give up on your goals, making you feel guilty that they do not align with theirs. So, yes, being single is much more beneficial for your personal growth than being in an unhealthy relationship.

4. They obtain emotional rewards from solitude. 

When you are alone, you can get to know yourself on a much deeper level. This gives you the amazing gift of being aware of who you are as a person and what you want from life. The beauty of solitude is that it allows you to listen to your inner voice and pay attention to what makes your soul shine. A toxic partner will almost never give you the chance to become self-sufficient and pursue the things you love.

Letting the fear of being alone prevail is something you should never do. Staying with someone who doesn’t consider your needs, makes you feel unworthy of love, and manipulates you to the point where you cannot make a decision on your own can never be a better option than being alone.

Sometimes you need to be on your own to realize what’s best for you, what makes you happy, and what motivates you to move forward. And that’s nothing you should be afraid of.

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