practice self-care – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com Mon, 11 May 2020 08:05:30 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.4.1 https://iheartintelligence.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/cropped-IHI-square-32x32.png practice self-care – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com 32 32 Reach out to those suffering from depression: 10 ways you can really help https://iheartintelligence.com/reach-out-to-those-suffering-from-depression-10-ways-you-can-really-help/ Mon, 11 May 2020 08:05:30 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=66463 The post Reach out to those suffering from depression: 10 ways you can really help appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Reach out to those suffering from depression: 10 ways you can really help

If you have ever suffered from depression, then you know that all you need at such difficult times is someone to be there for you and help you to get through the storm. When your mental health is unsteady, and you’re on the verge of completely falling apart, a friendly face and a warm shoulder […]

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The post Reach out to those suffering from depression: 10 ways you can really help appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Reach out to those suffering from depression: 10 ways you can really help

If you have ever suffered from depression, then you know that all you need at such difficult times is someone to be there for you and help you to get through the storm.

When your mental health is unsteady, and you’re on the verge of completely falling apart, a friendly face and a warm shoulder to cry on can help you get back on your feet and move on.

Battling depression is never easy. It requires a lot of hard work and strong will, especially if you need to do it on your own. In case you know someone who might be dealing with similar mental health issues, here are 10 ways you can help them.

1. Check in on them.

Oftentimes, people struggling with depression refuse to reach out to their friends and family. That’s because the last thing they want is to burden someone with their own problems. They won’t call you or text you even if you’re their BFF, not because they don’t want to hear from you, but because they don’t want to annoy you or weigh you down with their issues. So if you’re worried about them, don’t wait for them to reach out. Be the one that checks in on them and actually cares about them.

2. Just listen.

When someone who battles depression has gathered the courage to share their thoughts and feelings with you, just listen. Don’t judge them, don’t criticize them, don’t try to fix them, just listen. Sometimes, giving someone advice, or pointing their mistakes while they are trying to explain to you what’s going on in their minds, is not what they need. Being there for them and listening to them while holding their hand is all they might need at such a suffocating time.

3. Be empathetic.

Understanding someone’s feelings while they’re suffering from mental health issues will show you the right way to their recovery. Only when you put effort into acknowledging their emotional states, you will actually be able to help them heal. Besides, showing empathy to someone who deals with depression will make them feel heard and understood, and sometimes, that’s all they need.

4. Hug them.

There are times when telling a loved one who battles depression that ‘everything is going to be okay’ is not what they need to hear. In fact, sometimes no words can make them feel better. Maybe all they crave is a big, warm, comforting hug. Being wrapped around the arms of someone who loves you and cares about you can be the best cure for your broken heart. Just like a picture is worth a thousand words, a loving hug at the right moment has the same power.

5. Know what you’re dealing with.

Depression is not just a state you’re going through for a few days and then all goes back to normal. It’s a serious medical illness that affects the way you feel, the way you think about yourself, and the way you act around others. You lose interest in things you once enjoyed, your sadness deepens, and you feel as if your existence doesn’t really matter. That’s why, if you have doubts someone around you might be struggling with a similar mental health issue, you need to gain knowledge about this condition. Knowing what they’re going through will surely help you better understand their feelings and actions.

6. Don’t ask them if they’re okay.

Asking someone who is clearly not handling life well at the moment if they’re okay is just pointless. No, they’re not okay, and maybe they won’t be anytime soon. Instead, ask them a couple more questions. Encourage them to open up by showing them you truly care. When they assure you they’re ‘fine’, ask them if they really are fine. Make sure they feel safe to lean on you and share their thoughts with you. This means much more than a simple ‘Are you okay?’.

7. Remind them who they really are.

Unfortunately, oftentimes depression makes you feel worthless and insignificant. You feel as if no one could ever love you, and you’re never good enough. So if someone you care about is showing signs of a similar condition, don’t forget to remind them how much they mean to you. Tell them how amazing they are, and how this storm will pass and they will get out of it stronger than ever. Remind them they are loved and appreciated, and they don’t have to deal with this on their own. This will mean the world to them.

8. Encourage them to practice self-care.

When you’re constantly feeling down, taking care of yourself can be quite difficult. You just don’t have the energy and the will to look after yourself. That’s why, when someone close to you is currently coping with depression, you need to encourage them to get out of bed and practice self-care. Not only they will look fresh, but they will also feel a little better. Eating healthy, reconnecting with yourself, and taking care of your mind and body can do wonders for your mental health.

9. Distract them.

While you’re struggling with depression, your mind is constantly filled with gloomy, chaotic thoughts. What you need at such a moment is a healthy distraction. You need someone to help you break from all the dark thoughts and remind you there are other feelings in this world than loneliness and anxiety. Be the friend or the loved one who shows someone battling depression that things can be better. Watch a movie together, listen to your favorite tunes, play some board games, or just spend some quality time together talking about the universe while doing nothing. Do anything that will take their mind off their condition for a while.

10. Never give up on them.

Let them know they are loved. Hold their hand while they’re going through such a challenging time of their lives. Hug them tight and show them you care. They need someone to show them the world doesn’t end with their sadness, and better things are coming their way. Be that someone who would be there for them and will help them heal.

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A Better You Will Attract A Better Next https://iheartintelligence.com/things-happy-single-people-do-attract-great-lovers/ Thu, 30 May 2019 06:39:15 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=45429 The post A Better You Will Attract A Better Next appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

8 Things Happy Single People Do That Attract Great Lovers

It can be hard to make it as a single person. Our society puts so much focus on finding a romantic partner and settling down, but very little attention is paid to the overall health and happiness of the individual. A monogamous relationship is made the ultimate goal of every adult, young and old, but […]

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8 Things Happy Single People Do That Attract Great Lovers

It can be hard to make it as a single person. Our society puts so much focus on finding a romantic partner and settling down, but very little attention is paid to the overall health and happiness of the individual. A monogamous relationship is made the ultimate goal of every adult, young and old, but not personal satisfaction and joy.

Here’s the reality of the situation: happiness is sexy. People who’ve found joy with themselves and others naturally attract all of the best people.

These are 8 things that happy single people do that attract great lovers.

1. They don’t hang on to the past.

If you’ve never experienced heartbreak, you’re one of the lucky few in an extreme minority. Nearly all of us have been dumped, broken up with, or rejected at some time or another. It’s healthy to take some time to get over these heartbreaks, but happy single people don’t cling to the past. They let it fade in their minds and focus instead on the present moment and the future.

This is an attractive feature in a person because it signals to possible romantic partners that they’re not being held back by anything from their past. They’re ready to look ahead to the future – a future that might include you.

2. They avoid bad relationships.

When people are single and unhappy about it, they’ll often allow unhealthy relationships to enter their lives. These don’t have to be romantic relationships. They can be platonic, friendly, and familial as well. Mostly, an unhappy single person doesn’t want to be alone so they let people in that they maybe shouldn’t.

But truly happy single people know how to moderate the relationships they have and avoid the not so good people. Of course, this is an attractive feature to potential romantic partners. Meeting someone who surrounds themselves with good people and excludes the bad is an encouraging thing. If they’ve let you in, you must be good too!

3. They practice self-love.

Self-love is an important thing for everyone. If you can’t or don’t love yourself, how can you expect to love anyone else? The people we meet are able to pick up on this kind of thing. A little light-hearted self-depreciation can be funny and demonstrate that you’re down to Earth, but prospective romantic partners can sniff it out when you don’t love yourself.

4. They practice self-care.

Truly happy single people don’t just practice self-love, but self-care as well. Self-care can be described as doing things that extend your life and happiness. These are things like eating well, exercising, bathing regularly, flossing, visiting the doctor when you need to, and making sure you’re leading a happy, healthy life. Single people who are able to take care of themselves signal to potential romantic partners that they won’t need help taking care of basic things.

5. They practice self-awareness.

Self-love and self-care are important, but so is self-awareness. To be aware of one’s self is to know how you come off, how you look, and how you sound when interacting with other people. Self-awareness is being able to recognize when you’ve been mean, intentionally or unintentionally, to someone and take ownership of it and apologize. A self ware partner won’t need you to point out basic issues. They’ve got a handle on who they are.

6. They’re independent.

One of the biggest issues with relationships is people forgetting how to be independent. There are few things more ugly than a co-dependent relationship. A happy, healthy relationship requires two people who do not have an issue with being independent and alone. They can take care of themselves, their own bills, and their own needs. Being independent is definitely an attractive feature of happy single people.

7. They build up others.

When a person is unhappy with themselves, they tend to try to tear down the people they surround themselves with. But truly happy single people will try to build up the confidence of the people they love! It’s often apparent when you meet someone like this. They’re always offering to help a friend find a job, be a wingman/woman at the bar, and work to help you improve in the ways you want to.

8. They don’t compete.

Can you think of anything worse than two people fighting over a romantic interest? Truly happy single people won’t try to go after someone who’s spoken for, or who they know is really into someone else. They realize it’s not a competition finding a romantic partner, and that in itself is an attractive trait.

Perhaps the most important takeaway here is that knowing yourself and being yourself is one of the most attractive things you can do. Happy single people who are truly in touch with themselves will attract all of the best people.

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Four Toxic Relationship Habits That Seem Normal https://iheartintelligence.com/toxic-relationship-habits/ Wed, 09 Aug 2017 11:10:28 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=29766 The post Four Toxic Relationship Habits That Seem Normal appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Four Toxic Relationship Habits That Seem Normal

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be,” wrote Maya Angelou. Your relationship may be perfectly normal and natural – but is it truly living up to its potential? There are lots of behaviors – especially in our relationships – that are terribly, perfectly normal – but cause lots […]

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Four Toxic Relationship Habits That Seem Normal

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be,” wrote Maya Angelou.

Your relationship may be perfectly normal and natural – but is it truly living up to its potential?

There are lots of behaviors – especially in our relationships – that are terribly, perfectly normal – but cause lots of harm. Often, we brush off these toxic patterns because everyone else is doing them – and they seem fine.

But is fine good enough? Or can we – and should we – always be striving for better? As George S. Patton Jr. famously stated, “If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.” The fact that the couples around us behave in a certain way does not require us to do the same for the sake of conformity.

Here are four damaging relationship habits we commonly engage in every day.

Spoiler: If you have been in a relationship, you are most likely guilty of all of these.

(I know I am!)

Dropping Hints

– What is obvious to you is often a mystery to your clueless and beloved significant other. If we want something, it is unfair to expect our partner to read our mind. No matter how connected they may seem, we are bound to come up disappointed when using this strategy. We often do this to avoid appearing overly demanding or unfairly critical. Ironically, however, the effect usually ends up being the opposite. Stating a desire kindly but clearly may feel uncomfortable, but it is far more healthy in the long run.

Getting Jealous

– Although a little bit of jealousy is normal, it should not be romanticized as we all too often tend to do. Instead, it should be seen for what it is – a sign of a weak relationship. We may feel flattered when a partner is jealous. We see it as a sign that we are valued. However, it is also an indicator that there is a lack of trust, an unhealthy need for control, and a worrying amount of insecurity. Jealousy, though natural, is not a healthy part of a relationship. It is a problem that needs to be addressed.

Not Taking Emotional Responsibility

– Bad feelings are truly difficult to deal with – even for the most stable and functional of adults. It always seems easier to shift the responsibility for them to someone else. A loving partner is usually the perfect target for this. All too often, we will blame our partner for emotions that are not their fault. For example, we may be stressed from blowing an assignment at work, come home to find the house a mess, and become furious with their lack of responsibility. Before blaming our partner for a negative emotion, we need to trace it to its true source – which is often ourselves.

Keeping Score

– When we feel insecure in our own behavior, we often hold on to past mistakes our partner has made as a way of validating ourselves. For example, we may decide it’s okay to flirt with a co-worker because our partner forgot to buy us a birthday gift. This behavior is normal, but damaging. It shifts our focus away from working through issues in a healthy way, and instead encourages us to look for flaws in our partner and promote our own sense of self-righteousness.

“Normal is an ideal. But it’s not reality. Reality is brutal, it’s beautiful, it’s every shade between black and white, and it’s magical. Yes, magical. Because every now and then, it turns nothing into something,” wrote Tara Kelly. Just because a behavior is normal does not mean you have to resign yourself to it. Don’t be scared to break the mold for something better.

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22 Ways to Practice Self-Care https://iheartintelligence.com/practice-self-care/ Wed, 09 Aug 2017 10:25:18 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=29793 The post 22 Ways to Practice Self-Care appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

22 Ways to Practice Self-Care

“It’s common to reject or punish yourself when you’ve been rejected by others. When you experience disappointment from the way your family or others treat you, that’s the time to take special care of yourself. What are you doing to nurture yourself? What are you doing to protect yourself? Find a healthy way to express […]

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22 Ways to Practice Self-Care

“It’s common to reject or punish yourself when you’ve been rejected by others. When you experience disappointment from the way your family or others treat you, that’s the time to take special care of yourself. What are you doing to nurture yourself? What are you doing to protect yourself? Find a healthy way to express your pain,” wrote Christina Enevoldsen.

Truly, it is in the times when we need self-care the most that it fails to come to us naturally. Are you treating yourself with the love and respect you deserve, or are you letting life beat you down into a person you don’t even recognize?

Every human being ought to know themselves, cherish themselves, and treat themselves with the same care with which they would a treasured loved one.

Here’s some inspiration to get you started:

1. Say “thank you” when somebody gives you a compliment, instead of arguing that it is undeserved.
2. Start your day with a morning stretching routine.

3. Commit to one small healthy change each week – for example, eat a vegetable with each meal, drink an extra glass of water, or take the stairs instead of the elevator. Soon these small choices will become habits.
4. Take a walk – or run – in the most beautiful natural area you can find.

5. Dance to your favorite song. If you’re feeling spirited, do this one naked!
6. De-stress with breathing exercises.

7. Start a gratitude journal. Once a day, write down ten things – large or small – for which you are thankful.
8. Chat with a stranger you might normally try to avoid.

9. Treat yourself in an area where you normally exhibit self control – such as eating, shopping, or laziness. A small indulgence every now and then can be refreshing!
10. Declutter a room, closet, or entryway that has been bothering you. Clear your space, clear your mind.

11. Become intentional with your self-talk. Listen to what you say to yourself. Would you speak this way to somebody you love? If not, change it!
12. Schedule a ten minute “playtime” to break up a tedious workday. Use it to do whatever you want.

13. Do something kind for a stranger. Let them merge into traffic, help carry shopping bags, or simply smile.
14. Create a fun weekly tradition to connect with your friends – on Wednesdays, we wear pink!

15. Go out of your way to drive by something scenic on your way to work.
16. Unfollow people on social media that you do not know well or care for. Unfriend them entirely if you’re feeling bold.

17. Find some positive affirmations that speak to you. Practice them each morning. As Tia Walker wrote, “Affirmations are our mental vitamins, providing the supplementary positive thoughts we need to balance the barrage of negative events and thoughts we experience daily.”
18. Lie on a blanket outside and watch the world go by.

19. Commit to a digital detox for one afternoon. Here’s how to do it.
20. If you usually make decisions with your head, make one solely from the heart – or vice-versa. Give your normal decision maker a break. In a strange way, this may take some pressure off the whole process.

21. Make time for a short meditation each morning. A simple ten minute practice can make a huge difference.
22. Write down a list of genuinely nice things people have said to you. Read it when you’re feeling down. Use their most impactful words as inspiration, and pass them along to others.

“Today and onwards, I stand proud, for the bridges I’ve climbed, for the battles I’ve won, and for the examples I’ve set, but most importantly, for the person I have become. I like who I am now, finally, at peace with me,” proclaimed Heather James. Use the strategies above to find and maintain a sense of self-love and internal peace. You are absolutely worth it.

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35 Ways to Practice Self-Care https://iheartintelligence.com/35-ways-to-practice-self-care/ Thu, 15 Jun 2017 14:27:33 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=29012 The post 35 Ways to Practice Self-Care appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

35 Ways to Practice Self-Care

“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life,” explained Jill Bolte Taylor. This sounds great in theory, but how do we actually do it? The answer is different for everyone. Here […]

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35 Ways to Practice Self-Care

“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life,” explained Jill Bolte Taylor.

This sounds great in theory, but how do we actually do it?

The answer is different for everyone. Here are 35 of my favorite ways to engage in self-care:

1. Go for a hike. Spend the whole day outdoors absorbing the wonder of nature.

2. Throw yourself a private dance party. Break for snacks.

3. Start a gratitude journal. Write in it every day.

4. Reconnect with your creative side. Paint, write, draw, bake, decorate – do something that awakens your senses.

5. Quit something that is bad for you – smoking, drinking, complaining, judging others. See how it feels after two weeks.

6. Buy yourself flowers. If you’re feeling ambitious, plant some in your yard – or on a windowsill – as well.

7. Snuggle with your own dog (or cat, I guess), or borrow one from a friend.

8. Write a thank you note to someone who is important to you.

9. Take the time to really stretch in between conference calls.

10. Run away for the weekend to a town you’ve never been to.

11. Buy an adult coloring book and lose yourself in the pages.

12. Engage in a practice you find to be spiritual. This can be church, camping, yoga, or something entirely different.

13. Create a vision board.

14. Do something kind for a person you care about. Don’t tell them it was you who did it, and share in their joy when they find out.

15. By cheap nail polish and a face mask. Give yourself an at-home spa day.

16. Take the time to cook yourself a meal that you loved as a child.

17. Go to the library and ask the librarian for recommendations. Take home at least two books.

18. Find an exercise class that you love, and throw yourself into it completely. Lose track of time. Work up a sweat. Most importantly, get out of your head and into your body.

19. Book yourself a night away in a hotel. Order room service.

20. Call your parents.

21. Warm your pajamas in the dryer before putting them on.

22. Wander around a museum that interests you.

23. Book yourself a massage, body wrap, or acupuncture session.

24. Go for a walk at sunrise or sunset.

25. Engage in a digital detox – no phone, television, or computer – for a whole day.

26. Jump on the bed.

27. Take fifteen minutes to meditate.

28. Identify a room in your home that you don’t love spending time in. Paint it your favorite color.

29. Eat dessert. Don’t find out the nutrition information before doing so.

30. Take a nap during the daytime. Reject any sense of guilt over this.

31. Take a bubble bath with candles and soothing music.

32. Write a love letter to yourself.

33. Watch your favorite movie. Turn off your phone while you do this. Accept no interruptions.

34. Organize a room, closet, or junk drawer that makes you feel stressed out.

35. Set aside an entire day to complete projects you’ve been procrastinating. Reward yourself with ice cream.

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort,” wrote Deborah Day.

What have you done for yourself lately?

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Six Areas of Self-Care You Need to Address https://iheartintelligence.com/six-areas-of-self-care/ Mon, 15 May 2017 06:31:51 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=28604 The post Six Areas of Self-Care You Need to Address appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Six Areas of Self-Care You Need to Address

“Acknowledge, accept, and honor that you deserve your own deepest compassion and love,” wrote Nanette Mathews. You may make a point to practice self-care – but do you do so fully? Or is your self-care lopsided, engaging your mind but not your spirit, your body but not your soul? Here are six areas of self-care that you need […]

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The post Six Areas of Self-Care You Need to Address appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Six Areas of Self-Care You Need to Address

“Acknowledge, accept, and honor that you deserve your own deepest compassion and love,” wrote Nanette Mathews.

You may make a point to practice self-care – but do you do so fully? Or is your self-care lopsided, engaging your mind but not your spirit, your body but not your soul?

Here are six areas of self-care that you need to address in order to nurture yourself in a full and balanced way:

1. Adventurous Self-Care:

Choosing to pepper our lives with adventure can open the mind and awaken the soul. It keeps us from falling into an internal rut. Go on a hike through the woods, or explore a new city. Take a class in a topic that has always interested you. Become involved politically. Do anything that stretches your comfort zone and makes you feel alive.

2. Spiritual Self-Care:

Without a well-developed sense of values, it can be hard to know who we are. Build your self-knowledge and sense of peace by engaging in activities that foster spiritual growth. Meditate. Attend church services. Pray. Keep a gratitude journal. Help people. Turn your spirituality outward, and make the world a better place. Grow your soul, and give back to your community.

3. Physical Self-Care:

“Health is hearty, health is harmony, health is happiness,” wrote Amit Kalantri. Get enough sleep. An active mind and body need lots of rest. Excecise your muscles in a way that feels good to you – whether that’s yoga, running, or hiking through the mountains. Feed yourself healthy foods. Treat your physical form with care and respect. It’s not about vanity – it’s about embracing a healthy lifestyle from the inside out.

4. Mental Self-Care:

We need to work our minds just as diligently as we do our bodies. They, too, can turn to mush, and that’s a tragic thing. Stimulate your brain in a way that is fun for you. Visit an art museum. Write a poem. Engage in a heated debate. Solve a puzzle. Read a book that is written from a point of view that challenges your own. Stretch your mental muscles to keep them from stiffening up.

5. Sensory Self-Care:

Indulging our five senses helps to lower stress at our most basic and animalistic level. Engaging in sensory self-care increases mindfulness and connects us to the earth. Take in a beautiful sunset. Listen to soothing music. Light a candle that reminds you of your favorite vacation spot. Eat some decadent chocolate, and snuggle under a cozy blanket. Breathe.

6. Emotional Self-Care:

Take a moment each day to check in with your emotions. Work through difficult feelings in an active way, to ensure that you learn from your emotional challenges rather than letting them eat you from the inside. Acknowledge and identify your feelings. Write them down. Give yourself permission to cry and to laugh. Treat yourself with the same sense of compassion that you would a close friend.

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare,” wrote Audre Lorde. Care for yourself. Love yourself. Be a warrior. It’s one of the best gifts you can give to yourself and, ultimately, to the world.

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