decisions – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com Tue, 09 Apr 2019 13:02:16 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.3.2 https://iheartintelligence.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/cropped-IHI-square-32x32.png decisions – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com 32 32 35 Choices That Keep Us Unhappy https://iheartintelligence.com/choices-keep-us-unhappy/ Fri, 18 Nov 2016 13:57:07 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=22685 The post 35 Choices That Keep Us Unhappy appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

35 Choices That Keep Us Unhappy

“If you want to be happy you have to work to make it happen. You can’t just wish for it and you can’t put it in the hands of other people,” wrote Michael Buckley. Most of us make an effort to be happy – but our thoughts sometimes betray our good intentions. Nearly all of us […]

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The post 35 Choices That Keep Us Unhappy appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

35 Choices That Keep Us Unhappy

“If you want to be happy you have to work to make it happen. You can’t just wish for it and you can’t put it in the hands of other people,” wrote Michael Buckley.

Most of us make an effort to be happy – but our thoughts sometimes betray our good intentions.

Nearly all of us are guilty of falling into the negative thought traps outlined below. The next time you find your mindset skewing towards one of these, fight it.

Re-frame the situation in your mind. Take control. Don’t allow your own decisions to keep you down.

Here are 35 choices we make that keep us from finding happiness:

1. We refuse to take responsibility for our own happiness and well-being.

2. We allow victimhood to define us. We give in to the damage, rather than using our experiences to help others.

3. We hold on to grudges and resentments. As Nelson Mandela explained, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

4. We engage in gossip in an effort to feel important.

5. We let fear rule our lives, rather than using courage to drive it ourselves.

6. We allow negative thinking to become a habit, rather than reconstructing our perceptions in a positive way.

7. We dwell on our mistakes, but we don’t learn from them.

8. We recognize our priorities, but fail to live by them daily.

9. We allow pride to stop us from fixing damaged relationships with people we care about.

10. We neglect projects that we are passionate about.

11. We give to others, but we do so with conditions. We feel angry when these conditions – real or imagined – are not met.

12. We choose to spend money on things, rather than on experiences with the people we love.

13. We fail to accept mistakes – from ourselves and others – and move on.

14. We decline opportunities for family time in the name of our careers.

15. We complain about our circumstances rather than working towards a solution.

16. We don’t express our feelings to others. We may not even acknowledge them ourselves.

17. We live in the future and fail to embrace the present moment.

18. We live in the past and fail to embrace the present moment.

19. We put too little value on our body, mind, or spirit. We fail to appreciate them and we neglect to care for them.

20. We determine our self-worth by external measurements. You are not your waist size or your bank account.

21. We react to our problems on impulse, in a state of anger or fear. We make them worse rather than fixing them.

22. We neglect to use our unique talents and abilities in a way that builds our sense of pride and helps our community.

23. We refuse to face our problems. We hide from them as they grow larger and larger. Soon they become unmanageable.

24. We allow ourselves to live in regret rather than making the conscious decision to move forward.

25. We tell ourselves we are too old, too tired, or too stupid to learn new things.

26. We put unfair expectations on our loved ones.

27. We agonize over things that can not be changed.

28. We blame other people for the decisions we have made that led to our unhappiness.

29. We turn to alcoholdrugsfood, or sex in an effort to silence our pain, rather than addressing it.

30. We allow our spirituality to play a small role in our lives, when compared to our career.

31. We judge other people harshly and unfairly.

32. We judge ourselves harshly and unfairly.

33. We complain about our lives, rather than living with a sense of gratitude.

34. We don’t identify and cultivate our sense of purpose.

35. As Dave Ramsey explained, “We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.”

“It’s not a miracle you need; you need a change of attitude,” wrote Bangambiki Habyarimana in The Great Pearl of Wisdom. Refuse to fall into the mindsets outlined above. Take charge of your happiness. Work to cultivate it with everything you’ve got.

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6 Signs You Might Be an Over-Thinker https://iheartintelligence.com/over-thinker/ Thu, 05 Nov 2015 08:38:03 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=10880 The post 6 Signs You Might Be an Over-Thinker appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

6 Signs You Might Be an Over-Thinker

Author: Chase Holik Over-thinking can be a blessing for some but can be overwhelming for others. A lot of times, if you are an over-thinker if you have a hard time with spontaneous decisions and would sometimes prefer that others just make decisions for you. Some of the simplest things, like getting dressed in the […]

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6 Signs You Might Be an Over-Thinker

Author: Chase Holik

Over-thinking can be a blessing for some but can be overwhelming for others.

A lot of times, if you are an over-thinker if you have a hard time with spontaneous decisions and would sometimes prefer that others just make decisions for you. Some of the simplest things, like getting dressed in the morning, can become a daunting task because you think about every possible situation that could occur during the day and how your wardrobe fits in. Overthinking about little things like that can wear you out. Then again, when it comes to a project or a task – you can breeze through them with relative ease. Here are several signs that you are an over-thinker.

1. You Don’t Like Small Talk

This is especially true when you are talking to someone that you don’t trust 100% just yet. A lot of times, small talk can lead to talking about personal things, which you may not want to disclose. Since you have to think about what you’re going to say, you will sometimes avoid small talk altogether.

2. You are Indecisive

If you have to get up an hour earlier in the morning just to pick out your clothes, then you may be indecisive and an over-thinker. Indecisive people make decisions like ordering from a restaurant menu seem like a life-or-death situation. Being indecisive can hurt you in business situations and annoy people in other situations. If you aren’t facing a truly life-or-death situation, then just make a decision and go with it.

3. You Focus on Details

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can get extreme at times. Detail-oriented people tend to be successful, but they can be annoying as well. Thinking about every little detail can prevent unexpected things from happening, but it can also cause issues that wouldn’t be brought up otherwise. Focus on details, but also be realistic as to which details are important.

4. You Need Opinions on Everything

This is similar to being indecisive. If you feel like you can’t do something without getting someone’s opinion, then you are an over-thinker. Sometimes, your first thought when you try on a new shirt is to send a picture to a friend and ask if they like it. If you do that every time you try on something new, then it’s a sign that you think too much. It’s good to get opinions from others occasionally, but don’t overdo it.

5. You Have a Hard Time Sleeping

If you’re like me, then you have a hard time going to sleep when it’s dead quiet in the room because you think too much. I have to go to sleep with the TV on, otherwise, I will lay there for hours just thinking. Sometimes you won’t even realize it, but you’ve replayed the entire day in your head and tried to figure out how it could have been better. There’s a time and place for that, but your bed is not that place. If you find your mind racing about that day’s events in bed, then turn on the TV or listen to some music. It will get your mind off of things and allow you to rest peacefully.

6. You Don’t Let Go

This happens to me in the workplace all the time. If I’m working on a project, I have a hard time letting someone else in to help me because I’m worried that their thoughts won’t match mine. In reality, those situations should be embraced, but an over-thinker would want to keep the project to themselves.
Being an over-thinker can actually be a good thing for business because you may be able to find some pitfalls that others miss. The hardest part for an over-thinker is to realize when they are thinking too hard about something that is trivial. The over-thinker can quickly become annoying in certain situations.
What are your experiences with over-thinkers, whether you are one yourself or if you know some?

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8 Basic Truths Even The Smartest People Forget https://iheartintelligence.com/8-basic-truths-even-that-even-the-smartest-people-forget/ Fri, 01 Aug 2014 07:50:56 +0000 https://www.iheartintelligence.com/?p=4952 The post 8 Basic Truths Even The Smartest People Forget appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

8 Basic Truths Even The Smartest People Forget

Even the smartest people out there sometimes forget some of those obvious concepts: 1. Not feeling ready can be a good thing Opportunities rarely come when we are 100% ready to seize them. They are more likely to knock on your door when you feel insecure with your preparation, knowledge and skills. But that doesn’t […]

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8 Basic Truths Even The Smartest People Forget

einstein

Even the smartest people out there sometimes forget some of those obvious concepts:

1. Not feeling ready can be a good thing

Opportunities rarely come when we are 100% ready to seize them. They are more likely to knock on your door when you feel insecure with your preparation, knowledge and skills. But that doesn’t mean you should be ignoring them until you feel ready. Most of our lifetime opportunities force us to grow both emotionally and intellectually. They push us to give the best of ourselves, even if that means getting out of our comfort zones. But sacrificing our comfort can give us the chance for personal growth. If you want to change your life for the better, you should open yourself to the opportunities that arise, even if you don’t feel 100% ready.

2. Success and failure go hand in hand

Often times people tend to misinterpret the meaning of the word “failure”. Why are we so afraid of failure? It is just as natural as succeeding. Failure doesn’t mean not succeeding. It is actually a part of the circle of success. And success itself shouldn’t be measured by the achievement of a particular goal. Success is a state of being and therefore- everyone can feel successful.

3. Action is the key for all success

We often hear that knowledge is power. But it only is power if you use it. Knowing how to do something and actually doing it are two completely different things. It doesn’t matter if ,for example, you read books and articles on fighting procrastination, and take no particular action to overcome that problem. Knowledge and intelligence are useless without action.

4. Even mistakes mean progress

If you look back in your life, maybe you will realize that the mistakes you have done in the past have taught you valuable lessons. So why should we be scared of making mistakes, if they help us grow stronger and wiser? Every mistake you make on the way to a particular goal brings you one step closer to achieving it. It is highly possible that the mistake you will regret the most in your life is not taking action because of the fear of making mistakes. This way you will always be wondering what could have happened, if you hadn’t been so scared. And most importantly- you wouldn’t have made any progress. So don’t be afraid of feeling uncertain about something- give it a try and see what happens.

5. Making decisions is impeded when there are too many options

We live in times when there are so many opportunities for us to choose from when it comes to determining our career and life paths. But when we have so many choices before us, we can often times get confused and indecisive. Business and marketing studies prove that when a consumer has more product choices, he’s predisposed to buy less. If you think about it, choosing one product out of three product choices feels much easier than choosing one out of three hundred. Most people will give up easily, if the buying decision process is tough.

6. Success doesn’t necessarily mean happiness

Many people believe that they can only be happy if they accomplish a particular goal. In my opinion, we can choose to be happy every day, no matter where on the path to our goals we are at the moment. “The monk who sold his Ferrari” by Robin Sharma is one of the most inspiring books I have ever read. One of the main ideas shared by the author is that you don’t have to wait to accomplish your dreams to be happy. The main character was one of the most successful layers in the country but even though he had everything he ever wanted, he wasn’t a happy person. The most important thing is to cherish every moment of every day and to be thankful for who you are and what you have now.

7. You can be the best at something even if you don’t like doing it

Some people say that in order to be good at doing something, you should love doing this thing. In my opinion, this isn’t necessarily true. If a person devotes their time and effort to learn a particular skill, they can become excellent at it. How they feel about the activity doesn’t determine their success in it.

8. What we see in others exists in us

When we have a problem with someone, this can actually help us learn more about ourselves. It can help us learn why we see that problem in the other person, and the reason can be that we hold it inside of us, too, and seeing it exposed before us can be frustrating. But acknowledging that what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves, can help us overcome our unsolved issues.

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