Be honest – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com Thu, 20 Feb 2020 08:06:29 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.3.2 https://iheartintelligence.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/cropped-IHI-square-32x32.png Be honest – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com 32 32 Not feeling good enough: 10 tips on how to handle negative emotions https://iheartintelligence.com/not-feeling-good-enough-tips-how-to-handle-negative-emotions/ Tue, 04 Feb 2020 08:27:40 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=59987 The post Not feeling good enough: 10 tips on how to handle negative emotions appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Not feeling good enough: 10 tips on how to handle negative emotions

Your emotions overflow your headspace, and you feel completely helpless. Your mind is full of negative thoughts which drain all of its energy. You feel mentally and physically exhausted. Does this happen often? The truth is, everyone feels down from time to time. It’s impossible to be constantly cheerful and positive. That’s why it is […]

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Not feeling good enough: 10 tips on how to handle negative emotions

Your emotions overflow your headspace, and you feel completely helpless.

Your mind is full of negative thoughts which drain all of its energy. You feel mentally and physically exhausted. Does this happen often?

The truth is, everyone feels down from time to time. It’s impossible to be constantly cheerful and positive.

That’s why it is crucial for you to learn how to deal with your negative emotions.

Here are a few tips on what to do when you feel depressed and downhearted.

1. Accept the feelings you’re experiencing.

It’s not a secret that admitting something is the first step to overcoming it. If you truly want to overpower or eliminate your negative emotions, you first need to understand why you’re feeling a certain way. Be honest with yourself. Once you acknowledge your feelings, you would be able to take control over them and change them for the better.

2. Recognize the root of your pain.

Next, you need to identify what triggered your sadness. What made you lose hope and feel worthless? Was it someone else’s behavior towards you, or a life event that triggered your anxiety? When you recognize the root, you would be able to easily deal with the emotional pain you’re experiencing.

3. Give yourself a little time.

Oftentimes when you feel low, it’s your body telling you to slow down and give yourself a break. No one is designed to constantly work on their full potential. You might need some time to recharge. Many negative emotions might be triggered by physical or mental exhaustion. So try to spend more time with your friends, read a calming book, or travel more. Your future self will absolutely be grateful to you.

4. Share your issues with someone.

When you talk about your emotional problems with someone, not only you will understand them better, but you will also have the chance to see them through another point of view. Sometimes, all you need is another perspective. So find a friend, a family member, or a therapist who would listen to you and offer you their support.

5. Trust in positive affirmations.

The Universe listens to all of your thoughts, and it sends you back the energy you radiate. That’s why you need to implement more positive affirmations into your headspace. If you have more uplifting and moving thoughts, such as “I am worthy of success.” and “I deserve to be loved.”, you are more likely to believe them. Plus, the more positive affirmations you have, the less negative thoughts you need to deal with.

6. Don’t compare yourself to others.

Your self-worth has nothing to do with others. Besides, the way you feel about yourself shouldn’t be a product of what others say or do. Life is not a competition. Comparing yourself to someone else won’t help you grow in any way. It may even make you feel worse and plant a deep feeling of self-doubt in your mind.

7. Take care of yourself.

When your mind is tired, your body gets exhausted too. In these dark times, make sure you don’t let the negative emotions affect your physical health too. Even when you’re feeling low, make sure you take good care of your body by eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and practicing some physical activity on a daily basis. Don’t pressure yourself, but also, don’t take your body for granted.

8. Don’t constantly push yourself to your limits.

You can’t be at your best the whole time. So don’t expect you to be on your best behavior 24/7. This is a surefire way to suffer from burnout. When you’re downhearted, and you feel like you cannot do anything, instead of being hard on yourself for not being productive, just give yourself a little time. It’s okay to slow down for a while in order to take care of your mental health.

9. Be honest with yourself.

In order to keep your emotional health on track, you need to be more honest with yourself. Sometimes, we suffer from the way we exaggerate things. Maybe you’re just making the situation appear worse than it actually is. As difficult as it may be, try to confront yourself, and be brutally honest if you need to.

10. Use the word “yet” more often.

Instead of saying “I can’t do this.”, say “I can’t do this yet.” This will surely change the way you see yourself and will make you believe in your potential. The fact that you’re not good at something doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t be great at it if you put a little more effort. This short word will shift your perspective and will motivate you to move forward.

In times when you feel hopeless and unworthy of love, remind yourself nothing in life is permanent, including your pain.

As long as you learn how to deal with your negative emotions, you will be able to take the wheel of your wild mind.

Once you find out how to control your feelings, you will start your journey to a more peaceful, happier life.

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10 Vital things to do to keep the flame in your relationship alive https://iheartintelligence.com/keep-flame-in-relationship-alive/ Tue, 29 Oct 2019 08:23:00 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=54818 The post 10 Vital things to do to keep the flame in your relationship alive appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 Vital things to do to keep the flame in your relationship alive

People who have been in long term relationships know well that the flames can fade. This is perfectly natural; after all, it isn’t realistic to expect a relationship to provide the same level of excitement as it did in the beginning. Of course, this does not mean that the fun and the flames should die […]

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The post 10 Vital things to do to keep the flame in your relationship alive appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 Vital things to do to keep the flame in your relationship alive

People who have been in long term relationships know well that the flames can fade.

This is perfectly natural; after all, it isn’t realistic to expect a relationship to provide the same level of excitement as it did in the beginning. Of course, this does not mean that the fun and the flames should die entirely.

Take a look at the following 10 tips on how to keep the romance in your relationship alive.

1. Put your phone away

Being mentally present when you are spending quality time with your significant other can make a world of difference to your relationship. Next time you two are together, put your devices away and truly appreciate each other’s company. By isolating yourselves from the outside world you give yourselves the opportunity to connect to each other on a greater level.

2. Recollect your shared memories

Revisit the memories of the magical times you had together. Let your partner know how much specific events and time spent with them truly meant to you by reminding them. Also, do not fall into the trap of just living in the past. You should work towards creating new precious memories on a regular basis.

3. Try new things together

Break out of your everyday habits by trying something new, whether it be traveling or signing up for a new class together. When we get bogged down by a routine, we can find ourselves feeling numb to many of the reasons we love and appreciate our partner. Diving into new experiences together will not only be fun and exciting but seeing your partner in a completely new environment will allow you to learn things you never knew about them before and remind you of the initial reasons you fell in love with them. And who knows, maybe you’ll even fall in love with them all over again!

4. Strive for passion

Don’t hesitate to give your love a lasting kiss or embrace them properly. Not having much time before work or something of that nature does not mean those few extra seconds cannot make a difference. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how needed and desired this kind of thing can make the most important person in your life feel.

5. Surprise each other

We all love surprises. Little gifts of all kind are appreciated. Flowers, an unexpected date, maybe breakfast in bed. Anything that is representative of special time together and shows your partner you made the effort to go the extra mile to make their day. Furthermore, regular date nights equals time off your everyday life, routine, and problems; it is a time for intimate connection. If you believe yourself to be good at writing, love notes and letters are wonderful ways to express your feelings and show gratitude to your other half.

6. Spice up your sex life

If you feel like your sex life is starting to get repetitive or boring, try to spice things up a little by doing some experimenting. Whether you make some sexy wardrobe changes or explore other sources of pleasure, it is vital to communicate with your love about what may excite both of you.

7. Don’t forget the importance of laughter

Laughing is crucial to a healthy relationship. Your partner should also be your best friend; if you cannot have fun and laugh your heart out with them, then something is seriously not right. In this case, you must make an effort to rediscover your shared sense of humor.

8. Cut down the nagging

We all get worked up and feel like complaining about little things from time to time. But this isn’t always as important as we make it out to be. if you need to make a point, do it but think it over before you say something that might hurt the other. Are you nagging too much, and is the reason you nag actually worth it all?

9. Be honest with each other

You must be honest with each other if you want what you built together to last. If there is something you like, whether it be in or out of the bedroom, let your partner know about it. If you feel like you cannot be honest with him or her, you should ask yourself why.

10. Make a change instead of hoping that your partner will

If you want your significant other to say or do more romantic things, it can feel pushy if you are constantly asking them to give you more. Rather than asking all the time, take a moment to think about how much more you could be giving to your partner. When you are with Mr. or Ms. Right, they’ll take notice and appreciate the extra effort you make and feel inspired to make the extra effort to make you happier. Shower them with affection, and if your love for them is unconditional, prove it!

If everything else fails, recall the behaviors both of you had at start of your relationship. Remember how they looked in your eyes, how you treated them, and how much you wanted to make them happy. If you act like it’s the beginning, maybe an end will never come.

Here is something to inspire you.

Did you enjoy this article? Let us know your thoughts by leaving us a comment and please share if you believe in everlasting love. 

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12 small, but meaningful things that will make your loved ones feel SPECIAL https://iheartintelligence.com/small-meaningful-things-make-your-loved-ones-special/ Mon, 05 Aug 2019 11:04:03 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=48881 The post 12 small, but meaningful things that will make your loved ones feel SPECIAL appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

12 small, but meaningful things that will make your loved ones feel SPECIAL

It’s no secret that after a while relationships go through ‘stagnant’ stages, and within these stages we often forget how to show our loved one just how much we appreciate and love them. It’s not uncommon to think that grand gestures and extravagant dinners are the only way to show your partner how much you […]

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The post 12 small, but meaningful things that will make your loved ones feel SPECIAL appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

12 small, but meaningful things that will make your loved ones feel SPECIAL

It’s no secret that after a while relationships go through ‘stagnant’ stages, and within these stages we often forget how to show our loved one just how much we appreciate and love them.

It’s not uncommon to think that grand gestures and extravagant dinners are the only way to show your partner how much you love them. However, as the age-old saying goes, “It’s the small things in life that really matter.”

So when your partner is feeling unappreciated or unloved the simple thing to do is to show them how much they mean to you by doing simple, yet effective and meaningful acts of kindness.

Below are 12 small, but meaningful things to do for your loved one which will show how much you love them:

1. Show interest in their stories by actually listening to them

So many arguments stem from not being heard, especially by a loved one. It’s important to realize that listening is a skill we all need to cultivate. Two fundamental keys to a successful relationship are support and respect.

Always make time to listen to your lover when they want to talk. It doesn’t matter if you have nothing to say in response. Sometimes just listening to them is enough and would do more than word ever could.

2. Don’t hesitate to them know you think they are beautiful 

There’s nothing quite like being told you are beautiful by the person you love. As a lover, it’s our duty to pay attention to our partner, so if you notice she’s changed her hair, mention it. If he’s shaved and looks good, let him know! You will instantly see their faces light up!

3. Learn how to apologize 

Take responsibility for your wrongdoings, if you’ve said or done anything to hurt them, suck it up and say ‘I’m sorry’. Apologies are necessary because it lets them know that you care and that you are aware of how you’ve made them feel.

4. Cook a wholesome meal 

Having a meal cooked for you has got to be one of the best things in life! Spoil your lover by lighting some candles, pouring some wine and cooking a divine wholesome meal for them. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, as long as it’s edible! In any case, its the thought that counts.

5. Sending love texts 

Some of you may think this isn’t important but a simple, “I love you and can’t wait to see you later” text can instantly change someones bad day.

6. Avoid talking trash about your ex-partners

Gossiping is bad and when you gossip or talk trash about an ex-lover of yours you are showing and creating an untrustworthy appearance of yourself. No one wants to be with someone who badmouths their ex’s. It shows disrespect and will give off the impression that you like to gossip which is a very childish trait.

7. Kiss your partner when they least expect it

This one is my favorite! Kisses show love and who doesn’t like a sweet kiss on the cheek, lips, and even forehead. Giving your lover unexpected kisses will keep the spark alive and make you appreciate the small moments in life.

8. Pay attention to the names of their closest friends

There is nothing more annoying and disappointing than realizing that your lover doesn’t know the name of your closest friends. Do yourself a favor and make an effort to remember, or even get to know them. This shows that you are interested in their life outside of the relationship you have with them.

9. Go on adventures

Sometimes going out can be hard because, generally it means spending money, however, not all dates require a credit card. Pack a picnic and go on a walk or to the park.

Take time out to spend it with them doing something you wouldn’t normally do.

10. Treat them to a massage

Physical touch is important and that’s why giving your lover a massage is equally important. Light some candles and run a bubble bath for them, then, give them a massage, I guarantee you they will not be disappointed.

11. Give her choice a chance

You may not agree with her choice in music or movies but giving her choices a chance is important. In the end, the most important thing is respecting each other’s choices and allowing space for individual enjoyment. Who knows, you may end up liking it.

12. Be honest about your feelings

In order for a relationship to work there needs to be a mutual respect and honesty policy regarding emotions and feelings. It’s important to speak your truth and not bottle things up inside. Honoring this will only strengthen your relationship in the long run.

Life has a way of keeping us busy, it’s up to us to take time out so that we can pay attention to ourselves and those who we love most.

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5 Tips For Introverts To Make It In An Extroverted World https://iheartintelligence.com/tips-for-introverts-extroverted-world/ Thu, 30 May 2019 06:35:18 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=45410 The post 5 Tips For Introverts To Make It In An Extroverted World appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

5 Tips For Introverts To Make It In An Extroverted World

Often, introverts can feel that their way of being different is something they must correct, rather than something they can embrace.  We live in a highly extroverted world, where careers, politics, and how quickly we make friends largely depends on our ability to communicate well with others. Charismatic, extroverted people tend to have more friends […]

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The post 5 Tips For Introverts To Make It In An Extroverted World appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

5 Tips For Introverts To Make It In An Extroverted World

Often, introverts can feel that their way of being different is something they must correct, rather than something they can embrace. 

We live in a highly extroverted world, where careers, politics, and how quickly we make friends largely depends on our ability to communicate well with others. Charismatic, extroverted people tend to have more friends because of this very reason, leaving their introverted counterparts feeling that they must change something about themselves to feel accepted and embraced in group settings.

This doesn’t speak for all introverted people but is rather an observation about society at large.

Introverts can often be mistaken for being too shy, uncaring, or uninterested in their surroundings, but the truth is, their minds are simply wired in a different way than the introverts’.

Extroverts gain energy from external sources, while introverts feel more energized in solitude.

The question is, how can introverts make it in an extroverted world?

Let’s look at 5 tips that could help you out:

1. Focus on your abilities

While it certainly sometimes feel like a disadvantage to be an introvert in a world full of extroverts, it’s all just a matter of playing to your strengths. As an introvert, it is highly likely that you are able to assimilate information quickly (because of your good listening skills), be observant when it comes to group meetings, and see things others often might miss.

Use these gifts to your advantage, whenever possible. Know the strengths that come with introversion, and focus on honing and developing these skills and traits even further.

2. Make time for yourself

Introverts tend to become drained quickly while socializing in big groups or other noisy settings, so you need to make sure you take the time you need to recharge your batteries. If your work involves interacting with lots of people, make your home a haven of peace and quiet where you can unwind and relax after a long day. Run a bath, light some candles, meditate, do some exercise, draw, or do whatever else that gets you in a “flow” state of mind after a long stressful day. Self-care is vital to your well-being, especially during hectic, chaotic times, so don’t feel selfish for carving out some time for yourself.

3. Choose a career path that fits your introverted nature

Most introverts don’t feel comfortable doing “normal” jobs that involve taking on a position of authority or management since this requires excessive interaction with people. Introverted people thrive doing more solitary work, so just pick a career that fits your needs and personality the most. You don’t have to feel guilty if you don’t enjoy common corporate work; you get the chance to create your destiny based on what feels best to you, so choose wisely.

4. Try stepping out of your comfort zone

Unfortunately, there will be instances when you will find yourself in a room full of extroverts. When in these situations, it’s important you don’t give in to your usual tendencies to just let everyone else do all the talking.

Forcing yourself to practice public speaking through a live or online course can be a great way for you to prepare yourself for times like these.

Off-the-cuff conversational skills can benefit you in all strands of life and will provide you with the needed confidence to step outside your comfort zone when the situation demands it.

5. Be honest with people

If you don’t feel like going to the party tonight, be upfront with people. If you feel mentally exhausted after every outing with someone, just let them know. Maybe you need to take extra time for yourself or choose a different group of friends that doesn’t tire you out. While extroverts and introverts can most definitely find common ground and enjoy a healthy, happy friendship or even relationship, introverts need to be able to express their boundaries clearly. Yes, you can leave the party early, or ask people to give you some space, or whatever else you need to do to avoid feeling worn out and overwhelmed.

Remember, life is too short to pretend to be someone else, so, for all you introverts out there, take pride in who you are. You offer important gifts and talents to the world, and it would not be as nearly as wonderful without you!

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Mind Detectives: You Can’t Lie To An Empath Because They Already Know The Truth https://iheartintelligence.com/mind-detectives-you-cant-lie-empath/ Fri, 05 Oct 2018 08:55:52 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=35804 The post Mind Detectives: You Can’t Lie To An Empath Because They Already Know The Truth appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Mind Detectives: You Can't Lie To An Empath Because They Already Know The Truth

One interesting aspect of a highly sensitive empath is that they can become a sort of living lie detector. They can discern whether you are telling the truth through their unique abilities. An empath has an ability to read the emotions of others, and feel what they are feeling. Because they are well-attuned to sensing […]

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The post Mind Detectives: You Can’t Lie To An Empath Because They Already Know The Truth appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Mind Detectives: You Can't Lie To An Empath Because They Already Know The Truth

One interesting aspect of a highly sensitive empath is that they can become a sort of living lie detector.

They can discern whether you are telling the truth through their unique abilities.

An empath has an ability to read the emotions of others, and feel what they are feeling. Because they are well-attuned to sensing and feeling the overall emotional state of those around them, almost constantly, they begin to develop a deep level of interpersonal intelligence.

Adioma defines interpersonal intelligence as “the ability to understand and interact effectively with others. It involves effective verbal and nonverbal communication, the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others, and the ability to entertain multiple perspectives.”

This ability can become frustrating for an empath. Oftentimes, those around us, even those who we are closest to, hide their true feelings, intentions, and motives. When this happens, an empath becomes conflicted. They see what lies beneath the mask, and they hope for an honesty they rarely receive.

It is best to tell the truth when you’re around an empath, because to be honest, they’re the best mind detectives around.

Here’s why:

1. They Know When You Are Being Insincere

You can’t hide behind a smile, or wear a mask of happiness when you are genuinely jealous of someone else. An empath can sense insincerity from a mile away. Even if you think you have everyone else fooled, they know otherwise.

2. They Know When You Are Not ‘Okay’

Even after you’ve said “I’m fine” for the thousandth time, an empath will know that you’re anything but “fine.” All they want is for a little transparency to shine through. If there’s anyone you can open up to and trust, it is an empath.

3. They Hear Everything

Even the things you don’t say. The way your voice rises, the slight hesitation, the change in tone- all of these things are picked up and noticed by an empath. Furthermore, they know exactly what your silence means when you choose to say nothing at all.

4. They Know When You Aren’t Being Authentic

We each have an authentic and unique identity, yet some people are afraid to let their true selves out into the world. Empaths recognize an inauthentic person, and they see all the beauty in you that you can’t. Allow yourself to be who you truly are when you are around an empath and you won’t regret it.

5. They Recognize Negative People Instantly

One thing about an empath that is impossible to hide, is their ability to spot a negative person. Negative people create and thrive on drama and chaos. An empath will immediately create boundaries and distance themselves from anyone who tries to bring negativity into their space.

6. They See It In Your Eyes

An empath can see right through you, so it is always best to be one hundred percent honest and upfront with them. If you are hurting, they can see it. If you are going through a hard time, they see that too. Empaths are able to look you in the eyes and inherently know, deep down inside, exactly how you feel.

There is no reason why you should ever have to be dishonest with an empath. They are some of the most compassionate and caring individuals on this planet. If anyone is going to understand you and be non-judgmental about you and your life, it is an empath.

So, don’t waste your time or energy trying to lie to them. The empath already has you figured out.

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Recognizing and Overcoming the Barriers to Physical Intimacy https://iheartintelligence.com/barriers-to-physical-intimacy/ Sat, 07 Jul 2018 10:04:59 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=32724 The post Recognizing and Overcoming the Barriers to Physical Intimacy appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Recognizing and Overcoming the Barriers to Physical Intimacy

The intimate connection you share with your partner is what makes your relationship special. Yet, you may find yourself unable to open up fully to your spouse. This can result in sexual problems, communication issues, and other marital problems. Whether there are pre-existing issues in the relationship or in you are struggling with your own […]

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The post Recognizing and Overcoming the Barriers to Physical Intimacy appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Recognizing and Overcoming the Barriers to Physical Intimacy

The intimate connection you share with your partner is what makes your relationship special. Yet, you may find yourself unable to open up fully to your spouse. This can result in sexual problems, communication issues, and other marital problems.

Whether there are pre-existing issues in the relationship or in you are struggling with your own demons, barriers to physical intimacy can have a devastating effect on your marriage.

Overcoming barriers in marriage take time. It involves a lot of self-examination. You’ll need to grow both as a person and as a romantic couple. Don’t let emotional, mental or physical barriers prevent you from having the marriage of your dreams.

Here are 6 ways to recognize and overcome intimacy issues.

A Lack of Trust

Married partners who do not have trust in one another should seek therapy and work hard at being accountable to one another. Especially if there has been a past indiscretion in the marriage.

Statistics show that online infidelity is one of the biggest issues in modern marriages today. This makes it important to show your spouse that you are honest, trustworthy and transparent.

Show you are true to your word by doing the following:

  • Answering your phone/texts when your spouse contacts you
  • Show up at an event/at home when you say you’re going to
  • Always call if you are going to be late
  • Live up to your word
  • Be honest
  • Communicate your feelings regularly
  • Give your spouse your undivided attention when you are together
  • Let your social calendar be an open book

A lack of trust is the number one killer of intimacy in marriage. After all, who wants to share an intimate moment with someone they can’t trust?

No Friendship in the Marriage

Being friends with your spouse plays a large role in how successful your marriage will be.

Studies show that marital satisfaction is higher when both spouses think of the other as their best friend. When a friendship grows in a marriage, couples are more likely to trust one another and enjoy each other’s company on all occasions instead of just for romantic outings.

On the other hand, a lack of a friendship in your marriage can cause you to think of your spouse solely as a romantic partner. This may cause you to prefer to going to a concert or other fun event with your friends instead of your spouse.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it does prevent a deeper connection from forming in the marriage.

Poor Communication

Communication is the key to a happy, lasting marriage. Without communication, you would never know how your partner felt, what they thought, or how happy they were and vice versa.

Another barrier to physical intimacy in marriage involves the way you speak to your spouse. If you are constantly arguing and blaming your spouse for any unhappiness you feel in your marriage, neither of you will likely want to be intimate together.

Instead of blaming your spouse for your problems, work on improving your communication.

If communication is lacking in your relationship, you will no doubt feel it becoming a barrier to physical intimacy.

Communication involves speaking honestly, kindly, and listening respectfully to your partner as they respond. Couples should not overreact, yell, or use anger to communicate.

When it comes to talking to your partner about sex and physical intimacy, share your preferences for sexual frequency and indicate any aspects of affection you would like to see more of in your marriage.

Poor Self-Esteem

A common barrier to physical intimacy in marriage has to do with low self-esteem. Studies show that women who have a positive view of their sexuality report higher levels of passionate love.

However, when you are not confident in your skills or your physical appearance, you will be less likely to want to engage in physical intimacy with your spouse. Even smaller forms of intimacy such as hugging or holding hands may make you wary, worrying that these actions may lead to something more.

You can easily solve this problem by doing things that make you feel better about yourself. Join a gym or start going for a run every morning before work. This will help produce dopamine and endorphins which will make you happier. Maintain a healthy diet to get your energy up.

Experimenting in the bedroom as well as open, honest communication about physical intimacy will help you understand what your partner enjoys and can make you feel more confident about your sexual skills.

An Emotional Connection is Lacking

One barrier to physical intimacy is a lack of an emotional connection. Couples tend to feel safer and more uninhibited when they have emotional intimacy.

You can build emotional intimacy with your partner by spending more time together. Share your thoughts, feelings and goals. Talk about your favorite memories together. Even if you have been with your spouse for a number of years, there is always something new to learn.

The more quality time you spend with your spouse, the deeper your connection will grow.

No Physical Intimacy in Marriage

If sex has been missing or infrequent in the marriage for some time, it can create a barrier between you and your spouse in all forms of physical intimacy. Even something as simple as a hug before work or a smooch before bed can be impacted by a lack of sex.

Sex is important to a marriage. It reduces relationship anxiety. Studies show that physical affection is also one of the biggest predictors of love and satisfaction in marriage. Sexual satisfaction also predicts heightened emotional intimacy in couples.

Physical intimacy in marriage is essential for keeping your emotional connection alive. Work hard to overcome barriers that might cause problems in your relationship such as a lack of trust. Establish positive communication, make date night a regular occurrence, and practice self-love. These will help you overcome barriers to intimacy with your spouse.

Author Bio:

Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

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A Man Should Do These 6 Things In A Relationship, Or He Doesn’t Respect You https://iheartintelligence.com/relationship-respect/ Tue, 31 Oct 2017 11:13:00 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=30967 The post A Man Should Do These 6 Things In A Relationship, Or He Doesn’t Respect You appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

A Man Should Do These 6 Things In A Relationship, Or He Doesn't Respect You

There has been some discussion regarding the topic of respect and love in relationships: supposedly men need respect, and women need love. However, many women aren’t finding love because they haven’t found respect. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships, and has over three decades of counseling […]

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The post A Man Should Do These 6 Things In A Relationship, Or He Doesn’t Respect You appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

A Man Should Do These 6 Things In A Relationship, Or He Doesn't Respect You

There has been some discussion regarding the topic of respect and love in relationships: supposedly men need respect, and women need love. However, many women aren’t finding love because they haven’t found respect.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships, and has over three decades of counseling as well as scientific research behind him. In his latest book, “Love and Respect,” Eggerichs explains why the needs of each sex in a relationship may be varied, it is certainly not to say that men only need respect (not love) and women only need love (not respect).

There needs to be a balance of both. If the man in the relationship doesn’t respect the woman, then he surely can’t love her.

Here are 6 ways all men should respect women in a relationship:

1. Pay Attention

Whether she is simply telling you about a funny thought she had the other day, or pouring her heart out about how something has made her feel, pay attention. We share things and express our emotions with you because we trust you enough to do so. If a man can’t afford a few moments of his time to show a woman that he respects and can pay attention to her, then he shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place.

2. Support Her When She Needs It Most

Her dreams, her ambitions, her goals- support her in all of these. Most women are dreamers, but they are also doers. Regardless if someone is in their corner cheering them on, or not, they will get stuff done. But if a woman is in a relationship with a man who doesn’t support her, then he obviously doesn’t respect her either.

3. Communicate Openly

Listen, and respond. One of the best ways to show someone you respect them, is to communicate with them in an open and trusting manner. Say what you have to say, and don’t hold things in. When a man shows he is able to speak from his heart, without holding anger inside, or resentment, then he is showing respect. The silent treatment, or ignoring someone, is just plain rude. If something is bothering either partner in the relationship, they should make it known instead of holding it inside.

4. Make Her A Priority

We’re not saying make your life revolve around her, and worship her like the goddess she is (although if you both are cool with that go for it!), but rather, make it known to her that she is important to you. When it comes to making a choice of either helping her with something she needs, or doing your own thing, sometimes the decision needs to be the former. The reason? Because more than likely she has made you a priority on several occasions, and it’s nice to return the favour.

5. Show Kindness

We all have bad days, and when it comes right down to it, we really want our partner to be there for us and bring a little sunshine into our life. Some days make it impossible for us to find the light ourselves, so a little act of kindness can go a long way. Give her a random compliment, smile and give her a hug, make a surprise dinner for her- merely making the effort to try and lift our spirits means the world to us and is a huge sign of respect.

6. Be Honest

This is a no-brainer, right? Unfortunately, some men think they can do all of the above and leave out the most important part- honesty. Without honesty there can never be any level of respect. If you aren’t honest with a woman, how can you expect her to be anything except let down, angered, and confused? And yes, there will be times where being honest might not be the most pleasant option, but in the long run she will appreciate you more for it than lying to her.

Bottom line: The best way to earn respect from anyone is to respect yourself.

As Dostoevsky once said, “If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self respect will you compel others to respect you.”

By Raven Fon

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20 Ways to Kill a Relationship Before it Starts https://iheartintelligence.com/ways-to-kill-relationship-before-starts/ Mon, 20 Mar 2017 14:37:04 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=26069 The post 20 Ways to Kill a Relationship Before it Starts appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

20 Ways to Kill a Relationship Before it Starts

Dating is tricky. We want to come across as interested, but not too interested – available, but not too available – ready for commitment, but not desperate for it. In trying to strike a balance, we often miss completely. This is where stories of bad first dates and crazy ex-partners are born. Here are 20 […]

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The post 20 Ways to Kill a Relationship Before it Starts appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

20 Ways to Kill a Relationship Before it Starts

Dating is tricky.

We want to come across as interested, but not too interested – available, but not too available – ready for commitment, but not desperate for it. In trying to strike a balance, we often miss completely.

This is where stories of bad first dates and crazy ex-partners are born.

Here are 20 surefire ways to scare off a partner early on.

Be honest – how many of these behaviors are you guilty of?

1. When a text goes unanswered, show up at your partner’s house.

Tell them you were worried.

2. Ask your date how they feel about having children.

Will you work or stay home once the baby’s here? What about pets? City or suburbs? Pre-nuptial agreements – yay or nay? Write these answers down, so they know you’re serious.

3. Buy a cat or dog for yourself.

Name it after them. Talk to it – and about it – like you would a baby.

4. If your date shows up wearing white, act excited.

Tell them you, too, are hearing wedding bells.

5. Ask your date how much money they make.

Act dissatisfied with the answer. This will motivate them to be more ambitious.

6. Save a small memento – like a receipt or ticket stub – from your first date.

Make sure they see you do this. Tell them it’s going in the scrapbook of your relationship that you started six months ago…before you’d “officially” met.

7. Get physical as quickly as possible.

If they seem uncomfortable with this, sulk, pout, and guilt trip them until they give in to you. Refuse to take no for an answer.

8. Text, call, and email whenever you think of them.

Keep them updated on your day in real time.

9. Mention that you opted not to renew your lease.

You just don’t see yourself still living alone a few months from now…

10. Track down their parents.

Take the initiative to introduce yourself.

11. Introduce them as your boyfriend or girlfriend to other people

– long before you’ve had this talk with one another.

12. Invite them to your brother’s wedding

– seven months from now. Start coordinating outfits.

13. Crack their cell phone, email, and social media passwords.

Use them as often as possible.

14. Check their Facebook, Instagram, and long-abandoned Myspace page on the daily.

Mention any and all new developments when you see them. “Like” extremely old photos. Tease them about something they posted in 2006.

15. While you’re at it, send friend requests to their classmates, family members, and exes.

16. Learn everything you can about their past relationships.

Ask lots of questions to reassure yourself they think you’re smarter, cooler, and better looking than anyone they’ve dated before.

17. When they text you, call in response.

You’d much rather hear their voice.

18. Ask your love interest to do everything with you.

Act hurt when they say no. Make them feel guilty. Don’t let them slip away to have even one moment for themselves.

19. Say “I love you” right away.

Do this in a public place. Make a scene until they say it back.

20. Always be willing to cancel your other plans to make yourself available to your love interest.

Drop everything – and everyone – as soon as you hear the phone ring. Life? What life? I’m only here for YOU! Always!

Yes, these are silly – but we have all fallen into these behaviors on a smaller scale. There’s no shame in learning from our errors.

What have you done to scare a potential partner away?

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4 Common Relationship Killers And How to Beat Them https://iheartintelligence.com/relationship-killers/ Fri, 18 Nov 2016 13:52:32 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=22682 The post 4 Common Relationship Killers And How to Beat Them appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

4 Common Relationship Killers And How to Beat Them

“If you expect life to be easy, challenges will seem difficult. If you accept that challenges may occur, life will be easier,” wrote Rob Liano. The media’s image of love can give us lots of dangerous ideas. The idea that true love should be easy is perhaps the most ludicrous and damaging one of them all. […]

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The post 4 Common Relationship Killers And How to Beat Them appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

4 Common Relationship Killers And How to Beat Them

4 Common Relationship Killers And How to Beat Them

“If you expect life to be easy, challenges will seem difficult. If you accept that challenges may occur, life will be easier,” wrote Rob Liano.

The media’s image of love can give us lots of dangerous ideas. The idea that true love should be easy is perhaps the most ludicrous and damaging one of them all. For my husband and I, love has certainly not always been easy. However, it’s in beating the obstacles that we continue grow together, love together, and become who we are as individuals and as a couple. Our marriage has been one of the best experiences of my life.
Intelligence is sexy t-shirt ?!

I sincerely wish the same sense of challenge and victory for you.

Here are four of the biggest relationship obstacles – and some tips on how to overcome them:

1. Resentment

Resentment builds when we hold on to our anger rather than working through it. Often, we feel that, if we push it down with enough force, the problem will disappear entirely. Unfortunately, anger and fear only grow more powerful in the dark. When we do not address our feelings, they end up bubbling up in ways that are unfair to our partner. We might even end our relationship in a moment of anger, without even realizing why we are so upset in the first place.

Resentment can be overcome with honesty, courage, and communication. Examine your soul in a deep and thorough capacity. Draw out your anger, however painful it may be, and investigate it. Try to understand it. Look for the source. Share it with your partner. These feelings will not look as harmful or intimidating once you put them in the light.

2. Judgement

Criticism of yourself and judgement of others may seem like very different things. However, they come from exactly the same place. We judge and criticize when we fail to acknowledge that our sense of worth in the universe is inherent, unchangeable, and equal to everyone else’s. All too often, we doubt ourselves and feel unsure of our place in the world. This is when we look to outward marks of success to define ourselves and others – often in competition with one another. This invariably leads to unhappiness and insecurity.
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We can fight the urge to judge ourselves and others by harnessing our capacity for compassion, humility, and understanding. Look to yourself and the people around you with the understanding that we are all human. We are all imperfect and in need of love. Make an effort to stay “right sized”. You are no bigger or smaller than anyone else. Their successes and failures do not have the power to diminish or to emphasize your own.

3. Shame

We have all done things that we are not proud of. Shame is insidious, because it serves as fuel for every other dynamic on this list. When we feel ashamed, we decrease our sense of self-worth. We change our internal image of who we are. When we allow ourselves to wallow in shame, we give up our chance to move forward. Shame often feels like the correct moral response to wrongdoing. However, it does not allow us to grow or to make things right.

Shame can be overcome with transparency, repentance, and growth. Share honestly with your partner about what you have done. Tell them how the guilt has affected you. Get all of the negativity off your chest. Then, go out into the world and make things right again. If you stole something, pay for it. If you hurt someone, apologize. Rather than hiding your experience in the closet, use it as a learning opportunity. Commit to living your life differently from this point forward.
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4. Fear

I’ve yet to come across a couple whose relationship has not been touched by fear. As humans, we are afraid of so, so many things! We fear loneliness, and we fear intimacy. We fear failure, and we fear success. Most of all, we are afraid of being hurt. Nowhere does this manifest more powerfully than in our relationships. We will fight the potential for heartbreak with everything we’ve got. Ironically, this instinct itself is what most often causes things to fall apart.

Fear can be worked through with insight, courage, and clarity. Be intentional when you examine your fear. Be honest with yourself. What are you really afraid of? Where is this fear coming from? Is it fair and rational, or is it a manifestation of a deeply held pain and insecurity? Once you have identified your fear, you have taken away its power. Now you have the choice to either listen to it, or shut it down with courage and confidence.

“Some people need a super hero to save them, but I am my own super hero. All I need is myself, my strengths and the fiery passions in my heart to overcome the obstacles in my life,” wrote Imania Margria. Don’t wait for a magical moment to save your relationship. Create one instead. Become your own hero.

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