achieving goals – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com Mon, 10 Dec 2018 14:09:12 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.3.2 https://iheartintelligence.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/cropped-IHI-square-32x32.png achieving goals – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com 32 32 11 Traits Of People With High Emotional Intelligence https://iheartintelligence.com/people-emotional-intelligence/ Mon, 25 Jan 2016 07:50:55 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=15109 The post 11 Traits Of People With High Emotional Intelligence appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

11 Traits Of People With High Emotional Intelligence

Lately, new ways to describe human interactions, social behaviours, and many facets of psychology have emerged on the social network scene. One of those descriptions is “high emotional intelligence.” What is emotional intelligence, and why do the people who have it seem to succeed at everything they do? Psychology Today says, “Emotional intelligence is the […]

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11 Traits Of People With High Emotional Intelligence

11 Traits Of People With High Emotional Intelligence

Lately, new ways to describe human interactions, social behaviours, and many facets of psychology have emerged on the social network scene. One of those descriptions is “high emotional intelligence.”

What is emotional intelligence, and why do the people who have it seem to succeed at everything they do?

Psychology Today says, “Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others.” Usually, the following 3 skills are included:

1. Emotional awareness, along with being able to identify your personal emotions and the emotions of others

2. The ability to tackle emotions and apply them to activities like problem solving

3. The ability to regulate emotions, including the ability to control your own emotions and the ability to lift-up or calm-down another person

If you are wondering if you have high emotional intelligence (EI), or if you are interested in improving your EI to achieve personal goals in your life or career, here are 11 traits that people with high EI share.

1. They are not perfect.

Perfectionism tends to get in the way of a lot of things, like finishing tasks and achieving goals. This happens because perfectionists have trouble starting things, they procrastinate, and are always searching for the correct answer when there usually isn’t one. For this reason, people with EI are not perfectionists. They understand that there is no such thing as “perfection”, and they move forward. When mistakes are made, they learn from them and make adjustments accordingly. Personally, I find myself having to work on this daily because I tend to have moments of over-analyzing, and as a Virgo, perfectionism is something I struggle to leave behind.

2. They understand there is a balance between work and play.

When you work all day and all week, without making time for yourself, you add stress and health problems to your life. This is why people with EI know when to give themselves a break, and make time for play. In other words, if you need time to disconnect from the world, take the time! Unplugging from the daily grind will certainly reduce stress levels and make you generally more happy.

3. They see change as a welcome part of life.

Rather than becoming distraught when change emerges, emotionally intelligent people understand that change is a part of life. It includes the good and the bad, and it is better to accept it than fight it. Don’t be afraid of change. Instead, adapt to the changes around you and work with what you have.

4. They are curious about others.

Regardless of whether someone is outgoing, outspoken, or quiet and subdued, emotionally intelligent people are curious about others around them. This curiousity stems from one being empathic. Empathy is one of the biggest contributing factors of EI, so it should be no surprise that the more you care about others, the more you will be curious about them as well.

5. They experience empathy.

As I just mentioned, empathy plays a huge part of having emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, told The Huffington Post that empathy is one of the five components of emotional intelligence.

“[There’s a] spectrum that goes from complete self-absorption to noticing to empathy and to compassion,” Goleman said in a TED talk on compassion. “The simple fact is that if we are focused on ourselves, if we’re preoccupied — which we so often are throughout the day — we don’t really fully notice the other.”

Being more mindful, instead of being completely absorbed in your own world, plants the seeds of compassion – an imperative part of EI.

6. They know what their strengths are, as well as their weaknesses.

Those with EI know what they are good at and what they are not-so-good at. Not only do they accept what their strengths and weaknesses are, they are aware of how to leverage those by working with the right people in the right circumstance.

7. They are self-motivated.

When we were kids we usually did things because there was a reward at the end of it. However, if you were one of those children who did things because it was your goal, that might have helped your EI level today. Those who have the “go-getter” attitude possess another trait of emotional intelligence.

8. They do not live in the past.

People who have high EI refuse to dwell in the past. Why is this? Well it’s because they are far too busy contemplating the possibilities of what tomorrow may bring. Past mistakes never weigh them down with negativity, and they do not hold grudges. Remember, moving forward, not looking behind, is what helps us grow.

9. Their focus is on the positive.

Those who are emotionally intelligent would rather spend their time and energy contributing to the solution, than focusing on the problem. Rather than staying planted in the negative, they see the positive. They focus on what they have control of instead of wasting time focusing on all the things that have gone wrong. They also tend to spend more time with other positive people.

10. They are difficult to offend.

Having high EI also means knowing who you are. And if you have a firm grasp of what it means to be “you”, then it’s pretty difficult for someone to say or do something that will upset you. Emotionally intelligent people have self-confidence and their minds are open. This means they know the difference between humour and degradation.

11. They create and maintain boundaries.

Some people may think that those with high EI are easily manipulated, or that they are pushovers due to their kindness and politeness. However, they do know how to set boundaries, and enforce them. In other words, they know how to say “no.”

After reading these 11 traits, do you find yourself having anything to work on? Let us know what you think in the comments!

Written by Raven Fon

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Here’s Why You Should Keep Your Goals To Yourself https://iheartintelligence.com/keeping-goals-secret/ Mon, 30 Nov 2015 15:19:44 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=12523 The post Here’s Why You Should Keep Your Goals To Yourself appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Here's Why You Should Keep Your Goals To Yourself

We’ve all done it at least once, come up with that great idea or plan and exuberantly have told everyone we know about it. I’m going to write a book, get fit at the gym for that marathon, start a new inspired school for the town! No harm in sharing the excitement right? Shouldn’t you announce your goals, […]

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The post Here’s Why You Should Keep Your Goals To Yourself appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Here's Why You Should Keep Your Goals To Yourself

We’ve all done it at least once, come up with that great idea or plan and exuberantly have told everyone we know about it. I’m going to write a book, get fit at the gym for that marathon, start a new inspired school for the town! No harm in sharing the excitement right?

Shouldn’t you announce your goals, so friends can support you?

Isn’t it good networking to tell people about your upcoming projects? Shouldn’t you visualise the goal as already yours and state your intention in lines with the ‘law of attraction‘?

Don’t do it! Tests done show that people who talk about their intentions are less likely to make them happen. Announcing your plans to others simply satisfies your self-identity just enough that you’re less motivated to do the hard work needed.

NYU psychology professor Peter Gollwitzer has been studying this since his 1982 book “Symbolic Self-Completion” and recently published results of new tests in a research article, “When Intentions Go Public: Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap?”

He stated that in 1933, researchers found that if a person announced the solution to a problem, and was acknowledged by others, it was now in the brain as a “social reality”, even if the solution hadn’t actually been achieved.

(Take) a mother who talks about all the great things she’s going to do for her kids — help them do better in school, get better test scores, give them extra training — while all the other mothers nod in approval,” says Gollwitzer. “The chances are high that she won’t do as much as she could to achieve those goals because she’s already viewed as an ideal mother just by sharing her wonderful intentions.

He explains the intentions function as a symbol of possessing the desired identity. This is evident in the statement of a “high-order goal,” such as losing weight to become a healthier person, but not in planning to drop three pounds to fit into a dress.

Whether you plan to cure cancer, lose weight or be the world’s best parent, results of a the study suggest you’d do well to keep your mouth shut about it. And not just to avoid annoying other people either.

Researchers report that when dealing with identity goals — that is, the aspirations that define who we are — sharing our intentions doesn’t necessarily motivate achievement.

On the contrary, a series of experiments shows that when others take notice of our plans, performance is compromised because we gain “a premature sense of completeness” about the goal.

In a time when funding is scarce and we often have to go public with our plans in order to get them off the ground and over sharing on Facebook is rife, the decision to reveal all needs to be carefully considered as a longterm tactic.

In the research four different tests of 63 people found that those who kept their intentions private were more likely to achieve them than those who made them public and were acknowledged by others.

It may seem unnatural to keep your intentions and plans private, but try it. If you do tell a friend, make sure not to say it as a satisfaction “I’ve joined a gym and bought running shoes. I’m going to do it!”, but as a high order goal and in dissatisfaction “I want to lose 20 pounds, so kick my ass if I don’t, OK?”

So this New Year when you are setting your new goals and plans. Keep them to yourself. Follow this and success could be just a shhhh away.

Have you ever announced your great plans and never completed them? How did it make you feel?

What are your tried and tested secrets of completing goals? You can share that, at least, with us below..

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Define and Achieve your Goals by Asking Yourself These 3 Important Questions https://iheartintelligence.com/goals-by-asking-yourself-these-3-important-questions/ Sun, 24 May 2015 14:51:43 +0000 https://iheartintelligence.com/?p=7211 The post Define and Achieve your Goals by Asking Yourself These 3 Important Questions appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

achieve goals

Hammered into our minds is the idea that “mean goals” are more important than our “end goals”. Most of us have been taught a roundabout way of achieving our goals. A means to an end. To get what we want out of life, we need a high GPA, a college degree, a high level executive […]

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The post Define and Achieve your Goals by Asking Yourself These 3 Important Questions appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

achieve goals

achieve goals

Hammered into our minds is the idea that “mean goals” are more important than our “end goals”. Most of us have been taught a roundabout way of achieving our goals.

A means to an end. To get what we want out of life, we need a high GPA, a college degree, a high level executive job, good reviews from our bosses, we need to marry a particular type of person and we need a whole lot of money. Life goals have been planned for most of us since before we could legally have an alcoholic drink.
Someone else cannot tell you what your goals are. This is for you to discover. The sad truth of living life with means goals is very few people experience their end goals in their later years as planned. Many people live their lives working to live until the next paycheck. The 3 most important questions to ask yourself are to help you recognize your end goals so you can live them today or in the near future.

These questions do not require deep thought. Actually, you should answer these questions for yourself quickly, 90 seconds for each question, so your logical mind shuts down and your true self can speak. Use a timer if you need to, but write what comes to mind without thinking about time and money restrictions. Most all of your goals are achievable if you take this seriously. Blowing fire through your nostrils probably won’t happen, but I am not one to limit anyone’s end goals. To each their own.

The 3 most important questions to ask yourself are:

1) What Do You Want to Experience?

– Where would you like to travel? What do you want to see? Do you want children? Do you want to be married? Do you want to be self-employed? What are the experiences you see other people doing that causes envy in you? What experiences in life always seem to come back around as if you were meant to do it?

2) How Do You Want to Grow?

– Would you like to be a better leader to others or improve your self-leadership? Would you like to improve your listening skills? Would you like to learn to be more assertive or proactive? Would you like to get over your fear of speaking your true feelings? Would you like to focus on your spiritual growth?

3) What Do You Want to Contribute?

– What would you like to contribute to humanity? Would you like to be an inventor? Would you like to be a musician or a vocalist who brings a personalized touch of beauty into the world? Would you like to pay for your sibling’s college loans? Would you like to grow a community garden? Would you like to be a philanthropist? Would you like to be writer who shares knowledge or poetic words? Would you like to be a light hearted comedian or a comedian who uses comedy to touch on serious issues otherwise not spoken of in serious conversations? Would you like to be a teacher? This list could go on forever.

I am not suggesting you quit your job tomorrow and live doing exactly how you want ASAP. Obviously, life does not work that way for most people. The majority of us are working to put food on the table for our children or provide a place to lay our heads at night. However, you can make time to do some of the things on your list. With some creative thinking, planning and support, hopefully you can achieve all your goals.

Sample document from creator Vishen Lakhiam of Mind Valley.

goals-by-asking-yourself-these-3-important-questions
You might be telling yourself, “Ok lady, this was a fun activity and all, but how do I make these end goals happen?” Well, I have another exercise for you. It’s called a dreamline.

Look at your experiences, growth and contributions chart. Separate them into short term and long term goals. You are going to make at least 2 different charts. Here you will write down all your steps to achieve your goals.

Here is a sample dreamline from the creator Tim Ferris writer of The 4-Hour Workweek.



If you are like me, free time is somewhat scarce. Caring for a 1 year old and a 4 year old child, as a single mom, is hard work. Something that helped me to make time for my end goals is eliminating the things I do not need in my life. Yes, it’s another exercise, but this one is equally as important as the others! I do this maybe 2x a year since I tend to accumulate busy work instead of efficient work, as we all do.

The Elimination Exercise:

1) On a sheet a paper, separate it into two columns.
2) On one side, write down which 20% of sources are causing 80% of my problems and unhappiness?
3) On the other side, write down which 20% of sources are resulting in 80% of my desired outcomes and happiness?
4) After looking over your two columns, can you eliminate or simplify the items in your negative column? When looking at your positive column, do you see trends you can use to help you make time for your goals or help you to achieve your goals in any way?
Good luck on your personal journey and please leave a comment if you would like to share your goals! Actually, please share your end goals! You most likely will inspire someone else!
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt-
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-

“One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.”
-Bruce Lee-

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