He’s Playing You: 6 Red Flags

He's Playing You: 6 Red Flags

We’ve all done it – fallen head over heels for a man who was not ready for a real future. All you want to do is settle down and build a life together. All he wants to do is play video games and go clubbing with his boys. You’re thinking of baby names, and he’s collecting the names and numbers of other women. This situation is unbearably painful, and it can keep you stuck in one spot rather than moving forward with your life.
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So – how do you keep this fool from luring you in? The trick is to spot him early on, giving you the chance to run before you get too invested.

Here are six major red flags:

1. You’re always the one who has to plan the dates.

Maybe he’s lazy. More likely he just doesn’t care about connecting as much as you do. Find a man who is eager and excited to plan a night out with you. He should treasure your company and go out of his way to impress you and make your evening feel special.

2. He prefers the “Netflix & Chill” method to actually going out.

There are many reasons he might be doing this – and none of them are good. He might just be lazy, boring, and uninspired. He may only be interested in you when you’re in his bedroom. Of course, his motives may be even more sinister than that. A man who never wants to go out may just want to avoid being seen out with you by another woman.

3. He is quick to pick a fight.

If he can turn anything into an argument, he is likely after one of two things. He may be looking for control and testing his boundaries to see what he can get away with. More likely, he is already looking for a way out. Make it easy for him by letting go. You don’t need that kind of conflict and negativity in your life.

4. He says he’s not looking for anything serious.

This one seems so obvious, and yet women around the world ignore and misinterpret this phrase every day. I cannot stress this enough – if a man says he is not looking for a relationship, believe him! This might be the only time he is not lying to you.

5. He communicates all day, but can’t find the time to actually see you.

Texts and emails are easy – especially if he is sending them to multiple women. This guy is only looking for the ego boost that comes with your attention. If he truly wanted to get to know you, he would make the time to get together. No matter how busy his schedule, a man who is truly invested will find a way to fit you in.

6. He has never been in a long term relationship.

He takes pride in telling you that he has never, ever fallen in love. Don’t become convinced that you are the one who can change this. You are probably not the first to try, and you won’t be the last, either. It likely just isn’t the kind of lifestyle he is attracted to.

“Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them,” observed Bell Hooks. Don’t fall for a man who is too stuck in his own past to build a life with you. You can’t change him. He needs time on his own to do that. Give him that gift, and give yourself the gift of moving on with your life. It’s what you both need and deserve.

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