If your partner is experiencing insecurities in the bedroom, you might first think that the problem is within you or something you have done. However, that is unlikely to be the case, as people experience their own set of anxieties without having to be ‘triggered’ from an outer source.
Therefore, here are a couple of tips you could use in the pursuit of minimizing the levels of insecurity, so you could experience all the benefits of having a healthy sex life.
1. Take cues from them
It is always a good idea to start with catering to your partner’s needs and desires. In order to help them improve their struggles with insecurity in the bedroom, the first key step is to establish a great sense of trust between you. Hence, this involves paying attention to what they like, what they dislike, as well as their reactions to different initiatives on your part.
As you begin to gain their trust, you can, as a result, also proceed to smoothly broaden the horizons of your sexual relationship with regard to your partner’s comfort zone.
2. Respect their limits
Showing respect for your partner and their limits is not to be understated. In actuality, it is one of the most important steps to take in lessening your partner’s anxieties. For example, pushing them or even giving them a hard time in your pursuit to change the way they’re feeling would most probably work in a counterproductive manner to that you are actually trying to achieve.
Instead, you should be encouraging towards your partner, reassuring them they can confide in you whatever feels or doesn’t feel good. In this way, you guarantee yourself you won’t upset them without wanting to, and you will not have to play the role of a mindreader when something comes up.
3. Take the pressure off
To further the previous point, it’s important to keep things simple in these circumstances. Hence, try to avoid putting a lot of pressure on your partner to just ‘be okay with things’, as they are most probably struggling with the fact they are insecure in the first place.
Therefore, allow for the problem to settle calmly, step by step with time. In this way, you will actually speed up the process of them feeling comfortable with whatever their issue may be.
4. Get playful and creative
Being creative in the bedroom is certainly a great way to overcome insecurities in the bedroom. So, if you and your partner are able to think of fun ways to go about the bedroom, you would be surprised by the results.
For example, if your partner is experiencing issues with their body image, you could suggest they wear a blindfold during sex. Not only would it be an exciting idea, but you would be encouraging your significant other to feel more comfortable and liberated in regards to their self-image, as well as their ability to enjoy sex.
5. Change the goal
The fact of the matter is that people tend to put a great amount of pressure on themselves when it comes to climaxing. The orgasm is the most important end goal for many, however, this circumstance entails negative side effects as well. While having an orgasm is one of the many pleasurable benefits of sex, it is certainly not the most important ‘goal’ one should set, especially at the expense of others.
When we are so ‘goal-oriented’, we tend to forget about other pleasures that are there for us to discover. In reality, the end ‘goal’ does not have to be the orgasm, as it can put a lot of pleasure on your partner to ‘perform’ in a certain way. Thus, looking to connect with each other and have fun should be at the top of your list because everything else comes naturally as a result of this mindset.
Therefore, in conclusion, it is important to note that connecting and having fun with your significant other is key to having a healthy sex life.
Insecurities are most likely the result of a more ‘negative’ mindset, so if you’d like to help your partner, you should provide encouragement, space, creativeness, some playfulness, and, not to mention, a whole lot of affection.