nar·cis·sist | ˈnär-sə-sist
: an extremely self-centered person who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Narcissists are admiration-craving creatures who cannot imagine being away from the spotlight.
They exaggerate, embellish, and lie about every single detail of their lives only to make sure everyone around them praises their fake glory.
When a narcissist targets you as their next victim, they make sure nothing stands in their way. They isolate you from your friends and family, project their own insecurities onto you, and make you feel guilty for things you have no power over, only to control every single move you make.
If you think you might be dealing with such a toxic individual, you must be aware of the ways they would try to manipulate you.
Here are 5 things narcissist do to control you:
1. Narcissists shower you with compliments until you bend.
At first, narcissists treat you like royalty. They shower you with compliments, making you believe you have a special place in their heart. The way they treat you makes you feel on top of the world. The thrill they bring to your otherwise mundane life is something you have never felt before. Until they reveal their cruel intentions and show you who they really are.
Once a narcissist sees you have fallen into their web of lies and hollow promises, they completely transform the way they behave around you. Instead of showering you with compliments, they start putting you down with every single word they say. Instead of being on top of the world, you feel as if you have hit rock bottom. That’s how these malicious beings work.
2. They divide to conquer.
Narcissists have realized that, in order to manipulate their victims, they must alienate them from anyone who might keep them sane. To achieve the ultimate control they desire, they use the “divide and conquer” technique.
They first make sure that you cannot be influenced by the opinions of your friends and family. They might even force you to cut everyone off, so they can have all of your attention to themselves. And when you have no one else to go to, they conquer your mind and poison it with their toxicity.
Eventually, you become hooked on their lies, only because there is no one else you can count on. Or at least that’s what they are making you believe.
3. Narcissists blame you for their own mistakes.
“If it wasn’t for what YOU did, I wouldn’t react that way! YOU brought this to yourself!” That’s amongst the many excuses these toxic beings use to make you feel guilty for the things they did. Blame-shifting is one of the evil arts they have mastered to escape taking responsibility for their actions. Besides, they love playing the victim when things don’t go as they planned.
They are so experienced at manipulating others, that they can actually convince you that you are to blame for their hurtful reactions. What’s more, they often project their own feelings onto the ones closest to them. No wonder if they succeed in making you look like the bad guy, even though they were the ones who messed up.
4. They withhold information to confuse you.
Confusing you is one of the main goals narcissists have. When your mind wanders, you can easily get distracted and overlook the red flags. So, to shift your focus from the real problems, they often withhold valuable information that might provoke a different reaction in you that wouldn’t fit their mischievous plans.
Another thing they do to confuse you is giving you little to no time when you have to make an important decision. They make you believe you have no other choice but to make this decision as fast as you can. This way, you don’t really have the chance to change your mind. Meanwhile, they somehow convince you that what they suggest is the right thing to do, even though it may sound incredibly bizarre.
5. Narcissists gaslight you until you lose touch with yourself.
One of the many strategies narcissists use to manipulate you is gaslighting. That’s when they alter small details in your everyday environment to mess up with your mind and, again, confuse you. They make sure they are pulling all of your strings by making you doubt everything around you, including your own thoughts.
Are you constantly questioning every single thing you see, hear, and even say? Do you find it difficult to remember who you were and what you were striving for before meeting this person? Then you are most probably a victim of a narcissist who is gaslighting the hell out of you.