Accepting you’re not the one is one of the hardest challenges life will make you go through.
Almost all of us have already experienced this heart-tearing pain. It all happens so suddenly that you can never be prepared for the emotional storm this devastating truth turns into.
When you see all of the efforts you have put into your relationship collapse before your eyes, you inevitably feel as if losing a part of yourself. Realizing you are no longer the reason for your loved one’s happiness can hurt more than heartbreak. Facing the revelation that you are not the one is amongst the most soul-crushing moments in life. Therefore, finding a way to pick up all the pieces of your shattered heart and move on after this detrimental realization is one of the most difficult challenges of them all.
In order to deal with this hardship, you first need to learn how to preserve your self-respect.
While simply leaving everything behind seems like the easiest option, it requires a great deal of emotional intelligence. So, instead of being hard on yourself and forcing yourself to forget the unforgettable, better focus on your own wellbeing. Invest that energy into helping yourself get back up on your feet.
It takes a tremendous amount of mental strength, but what you need to do is back off and continue on your journey on your own. This bitterness may turn out to be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Instead of losing yourself in the agony, you can find yourself in the freedom overcoming this hardship gives you.
Along with accepting you are not the one, you should also accept that this choice was not yours to make. The final decision was never about you. So please, don’t blame it all on yourself. Don’t try to convince yourself it was all your fault. Don’t tell yourself that if you did something differently, things would have been different. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, how much effort you invest, or how devoted you are to your relationship, things are simply not meant to work out.
The next step towards moving on from such a tearing revelation is to understand that when someone tells you you are not right for them, they don’t mean you are not good enough.
What they are trying to explain is that their energy doesn’t match with yours. Their views of the world around them don’t fit with your perceptions. In other words, you two don’t vibe at the same frequency.
Frankly, the bravest thing you could do in this situation is to let them go. Allow them to continue their journey on the road to finding true love, and let yourself to do the same. Even though it hurts like hell, you must gather the courage to stop chasing after love that no longer exists. You must put a closure.
Instead of wasting your precious time on the one who no longer values your love, spend it with the people who are always there for you. Take a step back and give yourself space to reconnect with yourself and find out what truly matters to you.
Respect yourself enough to let go of the pain and embrace your inner strength.
Don’t let the pain change you. Allow this experience to teach you a valuable life lesson, and welcome the knowledge it gives you.