We are born into a society which teaches us that perfection is the goal, and so naturally from a young age, we strive to achieve just that.
Our society bombards us with this idea that having the perfect body is the key to a successful life. If you have the perfect body you will get the perfect man/woman and the perfect job and naturally, you will end up with the perfect life. Truth is, its all a load of bullsh*t.
You could say that big corps, through media and advertising are trying to morph us into something we aren’t. I’m specifically referring to beauty products, buy this and get that, apply this and achieve that and on every corner there is a billboard with skinny woman modeling some designer fashion. We take the bait and buy the unrealistic beauty products they sell to us so that we can ‘enhance’ our appearance, all while forgetting that we could be beautiful without it.
We live in a world which obsesses over fake beauty and ideals rather than celebrating raw natural beauty and this is the sole reason why so many of us cannot accept the flaws which make us who we are.
When I was younger I used to hate the way I looked. I struggled with insecurities and as a kid I obsessed over looks more than anything else. In school I was bullied, all because I had big ears and because I wasn’t as slim as the other girls. My mom would always make me wear the most out of fashion clothing and when she would make my hair into a ponytail, I’d take it out just as I was about to get onto the school grounds. Back then, I saw myself as imperfect.
I used to compare myself and my life to the other girls, the girls with their perfect long blonde hairs and blue eyes, the girls who always had the best clothes. I couldn’t help but to think that they were somewhat blessed by the gods with good looks. I imagined the picture perfect women on television to have looked like them when they were younger and that they would look like the Victoria’s Secret models you’d see on the television. Ah, my childhood days were a blur of bullying and envy. When I was alone I was thinking of ways to change the way I looked, I’d try to make myself look more like them, and when I couldn’t I’d end up falling deeper into a state of depression.
My insecurities didn’t fade with age, as I had hoped. I had become more jealous of the picture perfect women on billboards and my make-up collection was growing bigger. I struggled to keep relationships going because I was always insecure. In the back of my mind, I was convinced that he would definitely find a prettier woman than me. I struggled with being truly happy because I based happiness on superficial stuff like looks and beauty.
Until one day when my whole perception changed. I was getting ready to go out for a night on the town with one of my best girlfriends when I almost had a mental breakdown. She had mentioned that this guy I used to like was going to be there, so naturally, all I wanted was to look good, the only problem was, none of my clothes looked good on me. After hours of picking and choosing I decided not to go, all because I couldn’t find anything that made me look good.
By this point, I could see that she was getting frustrated with me. She then proceeded to ask me a question that literally changed my life; “What is it going to take for you to finally love and accept yourself?”
“You are so much more than looks and this obscure vision that you have of yourself.”
These words broke me. They literally echoed through my entire being because I knew that she was right. She was my best friend, and she chose to love me not based on my looks but because of who I am, and that should be enough.
“There is not one person on this earth who isn’t flawed. If you aren’t going to love yourself, flaws and all, no one else will either.”
It all hit me like a lightning bolt. I began to realize that I am imperfectly perfect and that the world only sees you as you see yourself. This is when I came to the conclusion that my body was, in fact, a temple and if I honor and respect it, so will everybody else. The best thing I could do for myself was to love myself, every uneven, scarred part.
I decided to stop trying to fix myself because there was nothing that needed to be fixed. My ears, my curves, my hair, everything about me is what made me unique and beautiful. I just had to look in the mirror with a fresh perspective in order to see what was always there. Once I did this something beautiful happened…
I stopped comparing myself to other women, I stopped buying tons of cosmetics to contour and change the way my face looked. I wore clothes that made me feel good and in doing so I felt lighter. It became easier to form relationships with people because I let go of the idea that I wasn’t good enough. When I’d wake up in the mornings and look at myself in the mirror I’d say this to myself;
“Good morning beautiful, this day is yours and you are enough.”
Reciting a feel good mantra in the mornings changed my outlook on life and how I viewed myself.
So, this is my little piece of advice for anyone who doesn’t see how truly beautiful they are.
You are enough, you are more than the flaws that make up the opinion you have of yourself. Stop chasing societal ideals.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Understand that nothing in this world is perfect. Imperfection is reality’s way of staying unique.
Understand that nothing in this world is perfect. Imperfection is reality’s way of staying unique.
You will never meet your true self if you don’t learn to abandon the person you were told you need to be.