Dating Tips for the Digital Era
Technology has changed the world as we know it in so many amazing and terrible ways. It seems like there is no aspect of life that technology doesn’t affect. One aspect of life, that some of us know too well, that has been turned upside down by the influx of technology is dating. Whether you met your partner in a traditional manner or through an online source, there are some basic things to keep in mind in any relationship in these digital times.
If you are in a committed relationship with someone and you don’t let them follow you on social media, that is instantaneously shady. If you want to avoid trust issues and jealousy, the solution is just to be open and honest. If your significant other can’t handle that social media is not real life (gets jealous about everything), chances are that you’re better off moving on. For instance, if you’ve ever heard something like “Oh, (insert male/female name) likes your picture? Are you sleeping with him/her?”, it is probably a good idea to run.
Nothing adds friction to a relationship quite like an audience. How many times have you seen someone in your Facebook feed post something about their significant other that sparks a dispute that everyone gets to read through? These people need to understand that their lives are not a reality show, and 9 times out of 10, we wouldn’t watch it if it was. If you can’t communicate with your partner like an adult and behind closed doors, good luck in establishing anything that looks like a meaningful relationship.
Read: Are You ‘In Love’ Or Just Attached? The Difference Is Important
When two adults are in a relationship, and they care about each other very much, sometimes throughout the day they might share messages about a “special hug” that they would like to share. This is called sexting, and it can be a great addition to your sex life with the right people. A little scandalousness can add spice and romance, when done appropriately. Yes, appropriately. No one wants to get fired from their job for getting caught taking a risque selfie.
You have to be careful about scandalousness. First off, just like anything else sexual in nature, mutual consent is a must. This is especially true when you’ve met someone online. If the third message exchanged involves nudity, you might want to pump the brakes there, turbo. I know that there are sites out there that are specifically for that purpose, and if you are on one of those sites – do what you need to do. Otherwise, keep it classy.
If you’ve chosen to go the online dating route into finding a significant other, keep one thing in mind: you don’t have whiskers – you are not a catfish. If you don’t know what a “catfish” is: it is someone who pretends to be someone they aren’t online, and when you meet them in real life they are completely different. The word is inspired from a documentary and ensuing TV show, both of which are painfully awkward to watch. Guess what, it is painfully awkward in real life too – for both the catfish and the person who just got catfished. Catfishing includes anything from using old pictures, deceptive camera angles, fake pictures, and just lying to people in general.
Read: Conscious Relationships: A New Way to Love
Be true to yourself. Just because it is the internet and you can technically be anyone you want to be with a degree of anonymity, doesn’t mean you should do that when trying to meet a potential partner. Building a relationship on lies about who you are, makes about as much sense as trying to build a house on a flaming tar pit. If you feel the need to invent a life you don’t live, maybe you should re-evaluate your life before you go conning someone into a relationship.