Sure, we tend to see people who are rude or toxic as narcissists but in reality that isn’t the case in many instances.
Sometimes people are just unpleasant without having any psychological disorder.
Not everyone who is selfish has a narcissistic disorder. Some people out there just don’t care what they put you through because you’re not important to them. It might come across as confusing but keep in mind that narcissism is not something you will see in every person who is toxic.
The word narcissist has been commonly used to describe not only people we dislike and have had issues with, but also the entire generation referred to as Gen Z. The question is, is narcissism truly that common among the youth of today? According to many psychologists, the answer is no.
Real pathological narcissism is a rare condition that affects around 1% of the population, and this hasn’t changed much since it was measured first.
The truth is, most so-called narcissists today are simply victims of an overused label. They are regular people who simply take joy in taking selfies of themselves and tend to brag about their achievements on social media. And while they may surely be a bit vain, true narcissists may be hiding among them because most people don’t understand the difference between the two.
To a greater or lesser degree, we all have some narcissism in us.
Due to its bad rep, however, it has become necessary to add the qualifier “healthy” to specify the non-threatening type of narcissism. It is the capacity all of us need to see ourselves as a bit special. It raises our confidence and this, in turn, allows us to take risks in order to move forward in life. Feeling exceptional and above everyone else, on the other hand, comes with its problems.
The most well-known measure of the trait is called the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI), developed by Robert Raskin and Calvin S. Hall in 1979. It asks a person to choose between statements that measure levels of modesty, inclination to lead, assertiveness, and willingness to manipulate people. Scores range from 0 to 40, with the average normally falling in the low mid-teens, depending on the group being tested. People who score higher than a standard deviation above that of their peers could be seen as true narcissists. However, scores ranging along the wide spectrum of the scale might still indicate normal mental health
Pathological narcissism falls under different criteria.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an extreme manifestation of the trait and is suspected when a person’s narcissism impairs his or her every-day functioning. This might relate to identity problems or issues with self-direction and cause friction in relationships due to issues concerning intimacy and empathy. It could also stem from pathological antagonism characterized by grandiosity and attention-seeking.
True, the individual who mistreated or abused you might have been toxic, and they might have truly harmed you but that does not mean they were a real narcissist by any means. Real narcissism is more complex than many people believe, and this is why putting your ex into that category might just be giving them an excuse for their inexcusable behavior.
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