At first glance, it would seem like a no-brainer: there’s no way casual sex can be a spiritually fulfilling experience.
I used to think so, too.
I’ve done a bit of homework and research -personally and academically, and it seems to me that casual sex certainly can be an incredible spiritual experience. Here’s why:
1. Sex is natural.
About as natural as it gets. It’s innate to our very existence and in fact quite necessary for our species’ survival. Like many others on this planet, our species reproduces sexually, so sex is about as all-natural as it comes. Other things that are natural to our species (yes, there are outliers, but I am talking about the majority here): cleaning ourselves, feeding ourselves, clothing ourselves. These can all be spiritual experiences in and of themselves as well. Certain garments -thinking of Buddhist monks’ robes, hair shirts and the like- and foods -transubstantiation- and cleanliness are demanded in many different religions to show obeisance and submission. Sex is another natural part of our species’ existence, so why shouldn’t it be spiritually important at every level.
Having a one-night stand may grant a person the greatest sexual experience of their life while married couples often complain about the lack of sex in their relationship. Sex is as natural as it gets, so why wouldn’t it be a spiritually fulfilling act.
2. Energistically, having sex puts great energy into the universe.
Even if you’re not a big fan of the notion of the energy around and within us, you can certainly agree that two people sharing a pleasant experience may be spiritually beneficial over them staying apart and each doing whatever they are doing separately.
3. There’s a lot of work around the notion of imprinting and taking pieces of each other away by engaging in sexual congress and the like out there.
I have terrible news for you if you subscribe to these ideas: you are constantly imprinting onto other people and vice versa. If you are out in the world at all, you are changing other people and they are changing you. Your only hope to get out of this is to secure a hermitage and spend your remaining days there, but it’s too late: people already know you, love you, care for you, look forward to seeing you, argue with you, and engage with you on various levels on a daily basis. Sex is just another -albeit rather intimate- form of engagement. While certain precautions should be taken to prevent the spread of STIs, imprinting through sex can be enormously spiritually engaging, regardless of how casual the relationship may be. If you both want it, and you can both be mature about it, then go for it!
I’ve been fortunate personally in my life to have had a couple of partners over the years who have been strictly casual sex partnerships. One man introduced me to a new way of relating sexually entirely; the other one is actually simply the greatest lover I’ve ever had. From my perspective, sex is like anything else in life: you’re going to get out of it whatever you put in. If you go into the relationship with a lot of fear and insecurity and baggage, you’re probably going to find all of that stuff there too.
If you enter into it with an open mind and an interest in engaging with this person on an intimate level, casual sex can quite easily be spiritually engaging, intriguing, even astounding.
So maybe rethink your views on it and go from there!