7 Signs There Is A Gaslighter In Your Life
What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used by abusive and toxic people to get what they want from their partners, friends, family members, or even strangers. Gaslighters lie and twist reality in a way that makes their victims question themselves and their memories. In extreme cases, victims can begin to doubt themselves to such an extent that they become unsure of their own sanity. If you fear that there might be a gaslighter in your life, there are several things to watch out for in order to identify them.
There are 7 gaslighting behaviors you should be wary of.
1. Gaslighters use fake apologies.
A gaslighter may apologize for their behavior only so that they can manipulate you. In other words, their apologies tend to be superficial and done with the aim of getting something in return. Alternatively, they may use false apologies that sound like genuine ones. For example, they might say “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry for everything I said”. In both of these cases, they do not specify what they are sorry for and in this way, they show that they do not believe they are at fault.
2. Gaslighters use flattery as manipulation.
They will use fake and excessive flattery when they want you to agree with them or do something for them. What is worse, they will become cold and distant as soon as they achieve what they wanted. This can leave victims feeling lost and confused, wondering if they have done something wrong.
3. Gaslighters humiliate you.
Toxic people tend to tear their victims down in order to make them feel more vulnerable and make themselves seem superior. They point out your flaws, weaknesses, and shortcomings not only in private but also around other people.
4. Gaslighters lie and twist words.
By lying and twisting words, gaslighters manipulate reality and make their victims question what is real and what is not. Gaslighters skilfully deny the things you say and insist that you remember things the wrong way. This can leave you feeling unsure of your own memories and ultimately, make you question your sanity.
5. Gaslighters never own up to their mistakes.
Everything in the relationship seems to be your fault. A gaslighter never owns up to their mistakes and never takes responsibility for their actions. What is more, they twist things around and make themselves look like the victim. In other words, they always manage to put the blame on you instead.
6. Gaslighters call you crazy
When you bring up your feelings or their errors, they will dismiss you by calling you crazy or sensitive. This can be extremely frustrating and can even make you doubt yourself. If a gaslighter in your life constantly insists that you are crazy, you will eventually begin to believe it.
7. Gaslighters claim your friends and family are liars
If the people in your life are aware of the gaslighter, they may warn you to keep your distance. The minute the gaslighter hears this, they will begin to defend themselves and call the people in your life liars. They may claim that they are just jealous or that they do not know what they are talking about. In turn, you will be left feeling confused and unsure of who to trust.
The main aim of a gaslighter is to control and manipulate you. They achieve this by making you doubt yourself, your memories, the people around you, and your reality.