Birthdays are an amazing time to appreciate your favorite people!
If only we could skip the part where we have to make up an original birthday wish.
Honestly, sometimes this could be far too stressful.
But don’t you worry – we’ve got you covered! If you are sick of the common boring birthday wishes, just keep reading!
Here is a collection of some of the funniest happy birthday wishes:
Let’s start with witty birthday wishes for anyone.
1. Forget about the past; you can’t change it. Forget about the future; you can’t predict it. Forget about the present; I didn’t get you one.
2. Happy birthday! May you live long enough to see Amazon delivering on the moon.
3. Yes, we have reached that age… When every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age.’ You’re still looking great, though… for your age!
4. As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
5. I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
6. Brace yourself. An explosion of Facebook notifications is coming. Have a great birthday!
7. Today, I have gathered the courage to stand in front of you, look into your eyes, hold your hand and tell you… that I am only here for the cake.
8. Happy birthday, you son of a really nice lady who deserves respect.
9. If you find your new age hard to swallow… just add some tequila!
Now, it’s time for b-day wishes for your BFF!
1. My dear friend, I regret to inform you that your childhood has officially EXPIRED.
2. Happy birthday to a friend who I wouldn’t trade for all the Nutella in the world.
3. As long as you are my friend, you’ll never have to do silly stuff alone. Have a wonderful birthday, and if you do anything ridiculous, I’ll be right next to you doing the same thing.
4. Today, my friend, you have made me grateful for something… that I’m not the oldest person here!
5. Once in many years, people with great passion and brilliance are born into this world who aim at the greater things in life. And today, one of them would like to wish you a very happy birthday.
6. Happy birthday to the smartest, funniest, and most beautiful person in the world… Wait, did I say “to”? I mean from.
7. Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year.
8. Bonnie and Clyde. Sonny and Cher. Batman and Robin. Tom and Jerry. Thelma and Louise. Han Solo and Chewbacca. You and me! Happy Birthday to my favorite sidekick (and best friend)!
Don’t forget about your siblings!
1. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
2. To my dearest, most favorite, and most precious little sister/brother. Our family was so very blessed the day you were born. It was such a joy to grow up with you and share so many great moments together. Remember these kind words when you’re cutting and dishing out the cake portions later!
3. Your very presence makes others happy! Thanks for reminding us that we’re not as old as you!
4. I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy birthday, sis/bro!
5. Your hair may be gray, your wrinkles may be deep, but hey, at least there is cake!
6. Happy birthday to my big sis/bro, who has witnessed great things! The invention of the wheel, the first cave drawing…
7. Happy birthday! But take it easy on birthdays. Scientists agree that too many of them might kill you…
8. Happy birthday, sis/bro! Here’s to being immature for a lifetime!
Here’s what you can wish your beloved wife or your girlfriend.
1. I didn’t even have to be reminded by Facebook that it was your big day today! Impressed?! Happy birthday to you, my love!
2. May your birthday be as nice as your butt and as incredible as your brain. Happy birthday, baby!
3. I forgot to get you a gift, so I’ll just go take a shower, put on my birthday suit, and wrap myself up for you.
4. Happy Birthday, my lovely wife! Today is the one day out of the year where I thank God for my mother-in-law.
5. Happy Birthday. I love you more than I love bacon… and that’s a heck of a lot.
6. Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife. If we had been on the Titanic and only had 1 door between us, I would have made room for you and never let you go.
7. You are so lucky to have me as your husband…but not as lucky as I am to have you as my beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent wife! Happy Birthday, my love!
8. There are only 2 absolutes in this world: Chuck Norris is the biggest badass in Hollywood and my love for you is infinite.
Also, here are a few great wishes for your husband or boyfriend.
1. After all these years… you’re still hotter than all the candles on your birthday cake!
2. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. You smell like my husband, and you sorta look like him too.
3. Happy birthday from someone who puts up with your belching, farting, scratching, and remote control hogging!
4. Living as an old man is better than not living at all, right? Happy birthday, love!
5. Happy birthday to the most handsome, loyal, and annoying husband. I put that last one in there so you’d know I was genuine.
6. Who needs a husband who looks like Ryan Gosling when I have my very own Steve Carell waiting for me at home?
7. When people tell you that you’re growing older, just shut it down and tell them you’re increasing in value.
8. To a hubby who shows me love every morning. Today I promise not to act like all your stories are boring. I’ll smile and nod while you drone on and on. And for my birthday, next year, make your stories less long?
And when you forget someone’s birthday, here’s what you can say.
1. I’m sure you’ve realized that I’d forgotten your birthday by now. However, if it makes you feel any better, I forgot two doctor appointments and an anniversary this year, as well!
2. I feel so bad about forgetting your birthday. Aren’t you going to do something to make me feel better?
3. I did not forget your birthday. I just wanted to make it last longer. Happy belated birthday, dear.
4. Sorry I wasn’t there with you to mourn the loss of your youth. Happy belated birthday!
5. Life is all about forgiving and forgetting. I forgot your birthday, and you can forgive me. How perfect.
6. You stole my pencil when we were in 2nd grade. I am late in wishing you a happy birthday. We are even now.
7. Sorry I missed your birthday. Hopefully, you’ll have another one next year.
8. I hope you’re not feeling deflated that I’m a little belated. Happy birthday!
9. Sorry I missed your birthday. I promise it will not happen again… this year.
Hopefully, this list of 50 birthday wishes helps you find the best one for your loved one’s special day. Whether it’s your bestie, your significant other, or your sibling, wishing them a lovely birthday in an original way is always a good idea!
