4 reasons why those who try to fix people often end up in toxic relationships
Those who try to fix people often end up getting hurt.
If you are someone who constantly tries to fix people, you will most likely relate to this. Those who prioritize others, work hard to please everyone, and put themselves second tend to get hurt more often than most. That is, after months or even years of trying, they eventually realize that they do not have the power to help someone who does not want to be helped. Similarly, they cannot change or fix someone who refuses to be fixed; instead, they can only accept them for who they are or walk away. Unfortunately, this realization always comes only when it is too late.
There are 4 reasons why they end up in toxic relationships:
1. They see the good in everyone.
While this is a good quality to have, it can also be self-destructive. Kind-hearted people who insist on staying by their partner’s side even though they are abusive do so because they truly believe that underneath the bad, they are good people. This means that as long as they stay by their side and support them, they will be abused and hurt.
2. They do not give up easily.
Even if they have serious issues in their relationship, they will persuade their partner to work on them. They have faith in their partner and believe that they can fix the relationship if they both put in more effort. While they view this is as a positive quality, their partners might view it as something which makes them easy to manipulate. In other words, they know that no matter what they do, they will have someone who will never give up on them.
3. They cannot say “no” when someone is in need.
Those who try to fix someone can never say “no”. Therefore, they willingly try to become whatever and whoever they think their partner ‘needs’ — even if this means compromising their self-respect. In reality, these people like to feel needed. Unfortunately, as a result of this, they end up constantly being used. What is worse, they constantly let people get away with using them.
4. They truly believe they can change their partner.
The problem with this is that their partner might not want to be “fixed” and they might not even see anything that needs to be fixed. Being in a relationship with someone you want to change is unfair to both you and your partner. In addition to this, it is important to note that manipulative people who are aware of their toxic behaviors may make empty promises and say that they will try to change without having intentions to do so.
Ultimately, those who try to help, fix, and save their partners will always be the ones who get hurt in the end.