“Please kindly go away, I’m introverting.” ~ Beth Buelow, The Introvert Entrepreneur
Finding love is not an easy thing for anybody. However for introverts is as twice as hard. Since they tend to close themselves off and establish contacts more rarely, dating, flirting and all other stuff related to romantic relationships is exhausting and emotionally draining for an introvert. That is why most of them avoid dating.
We’ve outlined 11 of the most common reasons why introverts are especially difficult for dating:
1. Mood swings
Introverts’ moods change very often. This is usually caused by the fact they tend to overthink all situations, and this might make them nervous. These people need to be in the right mood to go on a date at all. What is more, introverted women and men close themselves off and would usually keep their emotions deep inside. They wouldn’t reveal themselves to the person they are dating or having a relationship with until becoming very close with each other. That makes establishing a stable connection with an introvert more difficult.
2. Pick the people in their close circle
An introvert is selective of the people in their close circle. That is why they wouldn’t date a random somebody with whom they haven’t established connection. Introverts need to build a closer bond with their friends or romantic partners before giving them full access to their lives.
3. Thinking is a way of life
Introverts spend quite a lot of time in their inner world. They prefer thinking than acting. That is why before going on a date they would imagine thousands of possible scenarios about how the things could go. And might feel afraid or insecure that things might not go as planned.
4. Avoid crowds
Men and women with who are introverts don’t stand crowds. They would do everything not to fall into a situation where there are more than a few people around. Unfortunately, most first dates take place in restaurants, movie theatres, bars and other venues with lots of people around. Parties, clubs, concert halls make introverts uncomfortable. So, they would prefer to stay at home rather than going out and visiting a social event.
5. Small talks are redundant
Introverts don’t like small talks. They think empty conversations are redundant. People with introverted personalities need time to get to know a friend or a partner and wouldn’t engage in discussion with them unless they are close to the person. The conversations with them are never shallow. That’s why going out on a date and having small talks freaks introverts out. So, they often try avoiding such contacts.
6. Need more time to answer
These people need more time to respond because they should think about their answer first. Taking the right solution is very important for an introvert, and they want enough time for doing this. Because men and women with introverted personality are slow to reply, the person they are on a date with could decide that they are cold or reserved. But this is not the case. Introverts need more time to open up.
7. Recharging their energy is crucial
Introverts need more time to regain their energy. That is why they would usually spend one or two days at home after a night out at a club or after partying with friends And when it comes to meeting with new people or dating someone they barely know the time for “recharging” doubles.
8. Some situations make them insecure
Circumstances might make an introvert feel insecure. That is why they would try to avoid all kinds of situations that could doubt their self-confidence.
9. Search for the best response
Introverts overanalyze everything. They search for the perfect answers, and this makes it difficult to maintain a conversation. Sometimes introverts make long pauses before they answer back. People who date them might feel uncomfortable because of these specific traits of introverts’ character.
10. Have difficulty to express themselves
Unfortunately, people with introvert personality find it difficult to express their emotions and the way they feel. That makes it very hard for others to establish a close relationship. Friends or partners never know what is going on in an introvert’s head.
11. Might cancel plans
People with introverted characters could suffer from anxiety as well. So if an introvert feels under pressure about an important event they might have a panic attack. And might need to cancel their plans. That is something which is not in their control.
Finally, it is important to say that no matter how difficult for dating or loving introverts are there are amazing people among them who are worth the efforts.
We shouldn’t forget that although they close themselves off, introverts are also people and crave love and affection.
So, if you are an extrovert and your boyfriend or girlfriend is an introvert, try to be patient and empathic regarding their personality. Give them the time they need to open up to you. And never forget that introverts can feel strong love too.
And a tip for the introverts who want to find a partner: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
Have you ever dated an introvert? Do you think these personality traits make relationships with them tougher? Please, share your thoughts in the comments.