Losing someone you love may be one of the most heart-breaking experiences in life.
A whole new planet of pain and loneliness settles in and you may even start to question whether the world makes sense to you anymore.
Loss and grief are some of those transformative experiences that have the potential to turn over goals, values, and relationships.
It is difficult to go through loss and remain the same person as before. In fact, it is not even necessary.
You can actually become a much better person as a result. Here is why:
You know what really matters now
Traffic jams can be so annoying, as well as grumpy clerks and noisy construction sites. Not so, if you have been through a loss. It teaches you what is really important in life: what is worth being frustrated about and what is not. And this knowledge can spare you many hours of unnecessary worry and complaints.
You become more empathic
Once you’ve known the pain of loss and grief, your heart cracks open for the compassion of other people’s struggles. Suddenly you become aware of how connected we all are through our human experiences. For loss is something inevitable in the life of anyone who happens to inhabit this planet.
You appreciate the small things
After losing someone you love, you finally come to actually live by the cliché. Appreciating the small things starts to have a real meaning to you. The small things you shared with the deceased – the music he liked, his favourite food, the way he smiled at you sometimes – and then this extrapolates to other parts of your life that used to go unnoticed. Even walking to work becomes a much richer experience now.
When you know that you can’t take your loved ones for granted, there is a better chance to start appreciating their presence more deeply. It becomes pointless to withhold love or argue over minor issues. The perspective of not having this person with you forever might make you a much better lover.
You become braver
”He was the sort of person who stood up on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting ”All the Gods are bastards”. ” I love this quote from Terry Pratchett. It captures the feeling of a person who has nothing to lose. When you have been through loss, you are not so terrified of taking risks anymore. And life suddenly becomes so much more interesting and fun.