Some people consider the term “sapiosexual” to just be the newest buzz word when it comes to dating and relationships.
But if you are like me, and are attracted intensely to someone because of their mind, then you understand that this isn’t just a passing trend. Sapiosexuality is a real thing. So how do you know if you are a sapiosexual? The first, most obvious place to look is your dating habits:
Book Stores over Bars
I use the example of bookstores and bars because it’s a common enough cliché, but the point here is that you care about where you go. One thing about sapiosexuals that rings true across the board is that they are into substance. Not just in how they spend their time, but in who they spend it with. If you’d rather spend a day wandering through a new museum than spend a night getting hit on by jerks, chances are, you’re more of a sapiosexual than you think you are.
Witty Banter over Mundane Conversation
Conversations on dates, especially first dates, can be the highest form of tedium known to modern man. First dates are more like job interviews most times. The sapiosexual in us need not only good conversation but truly witty banter. Banter meaning you are trading comments like boxers trade jabs. Banter isn’t just talking, it’s thinking on your feet in vocal form. The key here is not just that you can communicate, but that you can do it creatively. If sarcasm is the language in which you choose to communicate in, chances are, that you are a sapiosexual.
Silence over Small Talk
Sometimes, the best conversations are the ones where nothing is said at all. This is the case when you’re actually in a relationship with someone and there isn’t a need to fill every single moment of silence with conversation. Sometimes you just want to be in your own head for a minute. To think, or daydream, or just relax and enjoy the moment. If the idea of being able to snuggle on a couch and read together is your idea of heaven, chances are, that you are a sapiosexual.
Substance over Popularity
The last thing most people who qualify as sapiosexuals are interested in is whatever is trendy. Sure, you might find a sapiosexual at a night club, but I can almost guarantee they don’t want to be there. Sapiosexuals don’t always run with the “pack” like others do. Again, it boils down to how you spend your time that matters the most. Sapiosexuals tend to care about what the people they date are into, because it is a sign of who they are as a person. If you’ve ever ranked a date based solely on the choice of location, chances are, that you are a sapiosexual.
Taste over Trends
Again, sapiosexuals tend to value substance over what is popular. This means they prefer things like a live music venue made for 100 people listening to a band no one has ever heard of, over a stadium rock show with some top 40 band. Individual taste is important. You have to make sure that the person you are dating, at the very least, has similar tastes if only to ensure that you can go on a road trip together with having to endure terrible music. More importantly, taste in music and movies is all about who you are as an individual. If you’ve ever quit talking to a potential mate based on their CD collection, chances are, that you are a sapiosexual.
Grammar over Selfies
This is a weird one, but a big one for some people. With the advent of texting, I think it is important to maintain control over the written language. There are few things that turn me off quite like a text that requires a Rosetta stone and a search on Urban Dictionary to decipher. Don’t even get me started on emoji’s… If nothing is sexier to you than the correct usage of “there” and “their”, chances are very high that you are a sapiosexual.