In exploring my own tendencies to be an extroverted introvert, I began to wonder what effects being an introvert could be having on my dating life.
Granted, this might have been an exploration of my single status, the results were still surprising. I came across a study done by John Malouff, an Australian psychologist, in 2010 that involved 3,900 participants. Of those participants, the people that identified themselves as introverts reported lower levels of satisfaction in their relationships. What was more telling was that the people who identified as extroverts reported the same lowered levels of satisfaction from their relationships with an introvert.
We all know that the heart wants what the heart wants, so what happens if you are an extrovert that falls in love with an introvert?
Give Up On Your Definition of Introvert
First off, take everything you think you know about what makes an introvert and how they act, ball it up, and throw it out the window. The last thing you need to do in any relationship is diagnose your partner. A lot of people associate introversion with being neurotic. That’s not the case at all. On the same token, not all introverts are created equally, so don’t make assumptions about what that person is or isn’t okay with.
Their Need to Be Alone has Nothing to do with You
The most common sign of an introvert is a need to be alone. Not a desire, a need. You have to understand this about your partner and get over your own thoughts that they are mad at you or don’t want to be around you. Their need to be alone has nothing to do with you. This is the number one thing that tears relationships between introvert and extroverts apart. If you love your partner, respect their needs. Even if those needs require a little time apart.
It’s All About Comfort
In the end, just like any relationship between two people, it’s about supporting what makes your partner comfortable. Comfort is extremely important to anyone who identifies as an introvert. It’s just of what makes them who they are. Again, keep in mind that not all introverts fit into the same frame, so take the time to figure out what you partner like and doesn’t like when it comes to social situations. If you’re an introvert, don’t fret – the right person will put in the effort to figure out what you like and how to cultivate a relationship that you are both fully satisfied in.