When it comes to our friends, too often we find ourselves in friendships that are totally toxic, yet we stay in them. Whether it is simply comfort, attachment, or fear of being lonely – I think the problem only gets worse with groups of friends. The real problem is that the people we surround ourselves with have so much more influence on us than we realize. If you’re noticing that you’re not happy maybe the first place to look is at the people you surround yourself with. Here are 6 sure-fire signs that you need a new group of friends:
Buy an “Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt!
You’re a Convenience
Nothing is worse than feeling like your friends only contact you because you serve a purpose. Maybe you are the generous friend who always buys a couple of extra drinks for everyone, or maybe you are the responsible friend who makes sure everyone gets home. No matter what it is, there are “friends” in our lives that keep us around only because we have something they want. If you’ve ever owned a truck, you know exactly what I am talking about.
You’re a Hostage
If you’ve ever had a thought like “if it wasn’t for ______, I’d never talk to this person again, ” You’re being held hostage in your friendship. Your friends should never hold anything over your head to maintain the friendship. You see this situation a lot when money is involved. The reality is, you don’t have to be someone’s friend to repay them.
Your Past is on Display
If the people around you are more focused on your past than you are, it’s probably a good idea to move on. Friends don’t hold your past against you because anything you did wrong – a REAL friend did wrong with you. There are always going to be people that like to point out the mistakes in your past to take the spotlight off of the mistakes that they’ve made, or are currently making.
You’re Filling a “Role”
If you’re part of a group of friends where you are made to be a round peg in a round hole, you might want to reconsider hanging out with hose people. Sure, in social groups there can be a proverbial “pecking order”, but a group of friends shouldn’t be a feudal caste system.
Read: Loners Tend To Be More Intellectual and Loyal Friends.
If you’re noticing things like you’re becoming increasingly cynical or unhappy, the first place you should look at is the people around you. If you’re not a “mean girl”, why would you hang out with them knowing that eventually they will make you one? Our groups of friends can influence us to do things we would never do and become people we’d never be – so make sure those changes are for the best.
You’re Overly Envied
This one is unique for some people, but important for everyone to pay attention to. If you have a group of friends that is constantly envious of things that you have, keep in mind: they are probably using you for it. For instance, buy a house with a pool and see how many new “friends” you have. That envy can be anything from your connections with other people to things like the fact that you’re not a jerk and they are.