Author: Harmony Bird
I’ve lived too long caring about what others think of me. When I know someone has different beliefs than me I keep myself more hidden. It’s not like these people have ever been rude or mean. It’s not like they have ever judged me. They are even some of my closest friends. But I carry a fear of having a different opinion than someone else, no matter how close our friendship has become.
- Do you find yourself unsure of what you want?
- Do you find yourself hanging out with people you would prefer not to?
- Do you regret the things you said when looking back on your day?
- Do you feel like someone is always unhappy with you?
- Do you clam up in fear instead of saying what you believe?
Yes, we all want to find similarities, to be able to relate to others. Many friendships originated because of a bond formed around a commonality. But there is more to friendship. There is an incredible reality to experience when you are vulnerable yet still receive acceptance and love. You need to be different so that you connect with the puzzle and don’t just rest on top of another puzzle piece that has already found its place. The world doesn’t need more copycats.
Accepting yourself is important. But if you have lived your whole life trying to blend in and fit in how do you break free?
Circle of Support
Prioritize the people who see you and accept you the way you are. Surround yourself with people who call out your strengths and challenge you. Humans need acceptance, so don’t think that you have to throw it all away. Just don’t let everyone be an influencer.
Rejoice in Disagreement
If people disagree with you, you are doing something right! Don’t let it kindle fear. Get excited. This is your time to shine. Stand your ground.
Know Yourself
You must find time to be alone. Get away from the outside voices. Figure out what you believe. What do you believe when you are alone? Solidify yourself in this safe place so that you have a firm foundation when it is shaken. Write out what is most important to you. Live by these values. No matter what anyone else says.
Practice
Fear will hold you back at first. But make a conscious decision to say one thing every day that is contrary to the opinion of another (only if it is true to yourself of course). Try it out. Test the waters. Remember you always have you circle of support to fall back on. Did things turn out as bad as you feared they would?
Be Inspired
Who has modeled authenticity for you? Was it a character in a book, an actor in a movie, or even better, your best friend? Look to them when you feel unsure. Remember their acts of courage and carry a picture of it in your mind.
It is worth it to be yourself. Don’t let the puzzle piece of your life be wasted. Find your unique place, be your unique self, so that a beautiful picture can be created.
