When someone’s behaviour starts to gradually change, it might mean that they are no longer interested in you, or the relationship.
Healthy relationships rely on balance, honesty, and communication to work. And it’s not always easy. There are bumps and detours we must navigate, but we have to do it together. When one person starts to distance themselves from their partner, despite how much effort and love the other person puts into the relationship, it might mean that they are no longer interested.
Perhaps you’re thinking, “They’ll come around,” or “It’s just a phase they’re going through,” but that is the whole point of this article. You can’t take responsibility for someone else’s behaviour, and you can’t put your life on hold while they “weigh the options.”
Here are 12 signs your partner just isn’t interested anymore:
1. They prioritize others, but treat you as an option.
Being in a relationship involves spending time with each other, and it shouldn’t feel like you have to force someone to do that. If they are constantly “too busy,” or “have other things to do,” then they aren’t prioritizing you in their life. They are treating you as an option and that is certainly a bad sign.
2. They are self-centered and only seem kind when they want something from you.
A partner who is no longer interested will tend to be absent for most of the relationship, but you’ll see them pop up more frequently when they want something from you. Maybe they need a ride to work this week, or perhaps they’re over-scheduled and need you to cover for them. Whatever it is, you’ll be able to spot their manipulative ways from the next city block. How’s that? Well, their fake kindness and phony smile will give them away every time.
3. Communication breaks down and they do not attempt to resolve it.
Most people in a healthy relationship wouldn’t enjoy it if they weren’t able to communicate with their partner. However, those who aren’t interested in staying around any longer don’t seem to mind as much. If they stop calling, texting, asking how your day was, or even trying to make conversation, they are likely ready to move on.
4. If they do choose to talk, it is always about themselves.
Nothing interests a person who is ready to leave a relationship, except themselves. They are their number one topic of choice because, let’s be honest, it’s not like they are spending any time thinking about you.
5. When something goes wrong, you are the one who is at fault.
Even if nothing has gone wrong, you will still get blamed. This is an abusive tactic used to control and manipulate someone, and if it’s happening to you, leave.
6. They say mean and intentionally hurtful things.
If someone is disinterested in continuing a relationship but they have been too cowardly to admit it, they will start to disrespect you. Whether you two are alone in the privacy of your home, or with friends in public, they will say things that are meant to hurt you. Don’t let them get to you- their ugliness is their issue, not yours.
7. They will eventually wear you down.
Maybe you have a bubbly personality, or tend to have a positive outlook. After being with someone who isn’t interested anymore, you will notice those things about you start to change. Your smiles fades away, and your confidence slowly vanishes. Being around someone who has no feelings towards you, but who holds on to you, can suck the life out of you.
8. They disengage you from their life.
Sure, they’ll bore you with how wonderful they are and how much better at something they are than you, but they won’t include you in their life. The things you once enjoyed together are no longer relevant. Is he going to the movies with his friends and you weren’t invited? Don’t be surprised. They disengaged you a long time ago.
9. They don’t care about you, and they don’t pretend to.
It’s no secret, someone who is no longer interested won’t act like they care about you because they simply don’t. Most human beings (except psychopaths and narcissists) experience some form of empathy or sympathetic response to someone who is upset or suffering. However, these people who drag you along without being interested will never show those feelings.
10. They say words without meaning them.
You’ll recognize this pretty early on as one of the first signs that someone is no longer interested. They will say “I love you,” or “I’m sorry,” but the words sound hollow. Their is no meaning behind them and their eyes have glossed over.
11. They spend time with someone else, in their bed.
You guessed it- we’re talking about cheating. This one should be a no-brainer, but I’m going to include it in this list anyways because some people have a hard time facing facts. If the person you are with is cheating on you, or has cheated on you recently, there is no way they are interested in you or your relationship.
12. You feel worse when they are around.
If you find yourself crying when you are alone, and suffering in silence when you are together, it’s time to realize that something isn’t right. Even if the other person won’t tell you that they aren’t interested, it should be easy to determine for yourself. When you feel bad, emotionally and mentally, because of how someone treats you, it’s time to move on and walk away.
There is no excuse for someone intentionally treating you poorly, especially if it is someone you are in a relationship with. Your partner is supposed to be exactly that- your partner. The two of you should want to work through things together, and share an equal load of responsibility. Communication is vital, and if you don’t have at least that, you have nothing.
I understand that every relationship is different, and yes, some difficult situations can (and should) be worked on. However, trust your gut and use your best judgement. You know your relationship and your personal well-being better than anyone else. If your relationship has become toxic, it’s time to leave.
By Raven Fon