Immaturity can be charming at first – even attractive. An immature adult often strikes us as whimsical. They may have a good sense of humor, an exciting worldview, and an appealing propensity to live in the moment. In the end, however, these people are not capable of forming healthy relationships. An immature adult is not prepared to care for others. Truly, they haven’t mastered caring for themselves. As Harry Overstreet explained, “To the immature, other people are not real.”
Are you more of a parent than a partner?
Here are 25 ways to tell:
1. They feel entitled to what others have – even if they are not willing to work for it.
2. They do not have well defined long term goals, or the ambition and work ethic to reach them.
3. They do not respect your need to have time, hobbies, and friendships of your own. They feel entitled to all of your attention.
4. You can’t count on them to keep their promises – even when you’re sure they intend to.
5. They reluctantly do the bare minimum when it comes to work, community, and family responsibility. You often feel like their maid or parent.
6. They use humor to avoid having serious discussions or working through difficult emotions. We all love to laugh, but a healthy adult relationship requires some serious moments, too.
7. They alternate between bottling up their emotions and having complete toddler-level tantrums. There is no in between.
8. They blame all of their troubles on their parents, society, or the government. Nothing seems to be their fault.
9. They refuse to acknowledge when there is a problem. They will ignore it as long as possible, and then deny it if you bring it up yourself.
10. Your partner is always the one who makes the messes. You are always the one who fixes them. There’s no “give and take” about it.
11. They ignore you and withhold affection in front of their friends.
12. They must have the newest version of everything – the best phone, the latest computer – even if their current one works just fine.
13. They seem incapable of committing to plans and then following through in a timely manner.
14. They would rather make a clever – but hurtful – joke than spare your feelings in public.
15. They rarely apologize when they’ve done something wrong. If they do attempt an apology, it is likely one that negates them of responsibility and shifts the blame back to you.
16. They take advantage of charitable people and organizations. They will often ask for handouts that they don’t really need.
17. They have seemingly endless conflicts with their work colleagues and bosses. They may change jobs often because of this.
18. They are openly rude to loved ones of yours that they don’t care for. They refuse to hold in their contempt – deserved or not – for the sake of your peace.
19. They prioritize their own comfort over their loved ones’ wellbeing.
20. They don’t manage their time well. Their inability to plan has them constantly late on important deadlines, and sometimes failing to show up to their commitments at all.
21. They constantly complain about their job, children, and community responsibilities. Occasional venting is one thing. A deep resentment of adulthood is quite another. An adult who has healthy self-esteem is proud to contribute to society.
22. Conflicts often devolve into name-calling, hurtful insults, and hysterical behavior.
23. They like to point out your mistakes. You always have to be on your guard with them around. They demand perfection from you – but never from themselves.
24. They avoid financial responsibility at all costs. They may become deeply in debt from extravagant spending.
25. They complain all the time. They never seem to acknowledge the good things in life, since they are always so focused on negativity.
“To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow minded individuals,” wrote Michael Bassey Johnson. Break free from your man (or woman) child, and allow yourself to develop to your true potential. You’ll love who you become without them weighing your spirit down.