“I love bossy women. Some people hate the word, and I understand how ‘bossy’ can seem like a shitty way to describe a woman with a determined point of view, but for me, a bossy woman is someone to search out and celebrate. A bossy woman is someone who cares and commits and is a natural leader,” wrote Amy Poehler. In our society, it is the bossy women – and men – who make progress. They’re dedicated. They’re passionate. They put the whole of their being into their projects. It’s no wonder we so often fall in love with them.
However, loving an alpha personality is not easy. In a fascinating paradox, the very people who offer the most to our world often need the most from their partner.
Here are seven things a relationship with an alpha can not survive without:
– An alpha personality values a relationship that consists of two whole and independent people. To nurture this sense of mutual independence, you must be willing to spend some time apart cultivating your own identity. Pursue your passions independently, and allow them to do the same. Your relationship is stronger when you can both stand on your own.
– Alpha personalities do not trust easily. They hold their sense of pride and dignity close to their hearts. They often have a difficult time being vulnerable. When an alpha personality does choose to open their heart, they need to know that their innermost feelings remain safely guarded. Even a small betrayal can shake an alpha to their very core.
– Standing up to an alpha personality is not an easy thing to do. However, it is necessary in forming an open and mutually respectful relationship. An alpha needs a partner who is not afraid to tell them what’s what. A partner who can tell an alpha how they truly feel with honesty and sensitivity can bring a much needed sense of balance to their life.
– All too often, an alpha will get so wrapped up in their work and ambition that they forget to live life. For this reason, they need a partner who knows the value of playtime. An alpha personality needs to smile and laugh every once in awhile, and a partner who can bring this to the relationship will be truly cherished.
– An equal partner is a necessity in an alpha’s life. An alpha personality does not like to feel like they are playing a supporting role to a more powerful spouse. However, they will grow bored with a partner who does not have any goals or sense of drive. Stand up to your alpha partner’s ego when it inevitably gets out of control. They’ll be glad you did.
6. Unconditional Respect
– An alpha personality will feel the sting of disrespect much more deeply than a beta might. Although they appear strong, they are really quite vulnerable. It is important to show respect to an alpha, even when you disagree with them. Acknowledge their boundaries, treat their opinions with value, and always operate with complete honesty.
7. A Challenge
– Some people believe that a dominant personality will seek out a more submissive one to serve them. This could not be further from the truth. Alpha personalities like to be challenged, and they will respect a partner who is competitive and opinionated in their own right. As they say, iron sharpens iron.
A true alpha personality has no need for a meek and subservient partner.
Related: Six Ways to Harness Your Inner Alpha
They don’t want your blind adoration or unquestioning devotion to their cause. Instead, they want somebody just as powerful to reign alongside them. As Emme Rollins put it, “I don’t want you to be my fan. I want you to be mine.”