Being taken for granted is something we’ve all experienced.
It’s one of the most common interpersonal problems that people feel, and it happens regularly. There are a number of situations that can bring about feelings of being used or like you’re being taken for granted, including romantic relationships, friendships, or even work relationships. Although these feelings are common, it doesn’t mean they can’t hint at a larger issue.
For some people, feeling used becomes a regular occurrence. They attract relationships where they are constantly being taken advantage of no matter what they do. It becomes almost like a vicious cycle that can be incredibly difficult to escape.
If you’re trying to figure out why you always feel used, discarded, and taken for granted, here are three reasons it could be happening.
1. You Aren’t Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are important within relationships. Having boundaries means that you can teach others how to treat you rather than letting them figure it out on their own. If you establish boundaries that you don’t compromise, people won’t be able to take advantage of you in the first place.
You teach people how to treat you, not the other way around. If you want to be taken seriously, make sure people know that. If you find that you aren’t being taken seriously, then you need to say something so that it doesn’t happen again. Be firm when it comes to your boundaries, and don’t compromise them for anyone.
2. You’re Giving Recklessly
There’s nothing wrong with giving, especially when it comes to friendships, romantic relationships, or in any other situation. However, if you give recklessly, or too much, it can be easy for others to take advantage of your caring nature. Self-sacrifice doesn’t define your self-worth, which is an important lesson to learn early.
Believing that how much you give to others directly defines your self-worth leads to a fragile self-esteem. When you’re taken for granted, it’s because you believe that your self-worth is defined by others, not because of the person you actually are. In essence, you let people take advantage of you.
3. You Feel You Deserve It
When you don’t feel like you deserve to be treated fairly, you attract people and relationships that will reflect this feeling. This is psychological, and it’s also a fact. People get taken for granted because they themselves believe that they don’t deserve anything better.
You need to start believing in yourself, your self-worth, and you need to start believing that you deserve the kind of relationship all people want. Fairness isn’t something you need to work for, it’s something you already deserve to have within your relationships, that’s why it’s called fairness.