Saying “I love you,” in a relationship for the first time is not something to take lightly. When you’re in a serious relationship, and have actually taken the time to examine your own feelings, you may feel like it’s the right time to say it.
When it is the right time, it can take a serious relationship to its fullest potential. When it’s not the right time, it can cause numerous issues between you and your partner. But when is it the right time? How do you know for sure?
If you feel like it should be time, take a look at these six questions and answer them honestly.
Your answers to these questions will help you determine whether or not it’s time to drop those three important words, or if your relationship needs more development.
1. Do You Keep Secrets?
This may seem like a juvenile question to ask when considering your feelings of love, but it’s nonetheless important. A couple in love keeps no secrets from each other; they are open books that wish to be read by their significant others. If you’re keeping secrets from your partner, it may not be time to profess your love.
2. Do You Expect Perfection?
When you’re truly in love with someone, you love their flaws, not just the characteristics that work well. Love begins with acceptance and it’s important to understand that no relationship, or person for that matter, is perfect. Loving relationships come with ups and downs, and you have to be willing to accept every aspect of your partner, and the relationship itself.
3. Are You Friends?
You can’t have a working romantic relationship if you don’t feel like you’re friends with your partner. Friends laugh with each other, they share common interests, they work through problems together, and most importantly, they support one another. Friendships and romantic relationships are very similar, and a romantic relationship that has a friendly foundation has support.
4. Do You Feel Jealous or Needy?
Trust is essential, and it must be a part of your relationship before you say, “I love you.” If you feel needy when your partner is out on his or her own, or you feel jealous when they are with someone else, you probably need to hold off on saying it. Learn to trust your partner, otherwise you can’t possibly love them the way you want.
5. Is It Only Physical?
Physical chemistry is important for a working, romantic relationship. However, it can’t be the only thing the relationship is about. A relationship built on sex only leads to boredom and the next best thing; it takes something more to have a truly loving relationship with your partner.
6. Have You Learned from the Past?
Past relationships can teach us a great deal when it comes to the present. After a relationship ends, you should take the time to examine yourself, your partner, why things ended the way they did, and how it can be fixed. If you haven’t learned anything important from your past relationships, what are you really offering the person you’re about to confess your love to? If you really love them, examine yourself and what you can offer.