Have you seen Rihanna’s “We found the love” video? If any of your relationships looked like the one on pictured on it, you may have taken that craziness of “romantic” drama as something natural.
However, if you either grew or woke up, you will admit that wanting this sort of craziness in a relationship with a man is crazy itself, and only wish Rihanna to find a good guy!
But forget Rihanna, we could actually argue if she isn’t part of the problem. As far as I am concerned she seems to enjoy her “passionate” relationships not only in her videos, but also in her private life. Clearly she’s got a thing for “Bad Guys”.
Now, let’s get a bit more extreme. Have you heard of Joseph Goebbels? Yes, this atrocious Nazi, Hitler’s “right hand man”. Apart from being one of the biggest criminals in the Worlds history, Goebbels was also an arshole of highest order when it comes to his marriage. His wife, Magda, had to sign an agreement prior to marrying him, in which she allows him to lead romantic affairs outside their marriage. The man had hundreds of women, deceived his wife in front of her very eyes and still died next to her as a man of her life.
What is going on? Why so many beautiful, independent women, often of high intellect chose to stick to “Bad Guys”?
Well, here are a few “factors” to pin down and good guys will not like them.
Number One: Unpredictability
You never know what to expect from a “Bad Guy” and you love it. Why? Because it’s constantly engaging and there is no room for boredom. Constant drama like on the telly. Life finally feels like a movie!
Number Two: Protection
That “Bad Guy” may be full of testosterone. Parking away heavy psycho cases of physically and emotionally abusive men, this guy may be just “slightly” aggressive in his way of being, and this may come across to you as a symbol of his power and strength. You will cherish an illusion of protection from him, because he seems so strong. Of course only if we are talking on your subconscious level. Thinking consciously we all know that this isn’t true and often the “stronger” the “Bad Guy” seems, the weaker and more scared inside he is. But illusions are sweeter than reality and you love the sweet, so you go for it.
Number Three: Adventure
Deep inside you clearly know that this man isn’t for you and never meant to be, so you choose to live and adventure with him instead. This is of course another sweet lie you tell yourself because you don’t really want an adventure just for the time being. You actually would like it for the rest of your life, so you get stuck in it. Whether it is with him or with another “Bad Guy” who comes next.
Number Four: Domination
Yes, thousands of years of male domination has actually got many women used to it. If you had a dominating father the chances are that you like to be dominated by your man, who you may admire as deep inside you did admire your father. This is of course is not a rule, but unfortunately often a strong psychological tendency. Again, it happens on your subconscious level, so you will not admit this out loud.
Number Five: Hero.
Some “Bad Guys”are very good looking for sure and that often makes a deal, however there are many “Bad Guys” who when it comes to looks are actually far away from perfect. But they’re “heroes”. They are either very intelligent or talented, they can be geniuses, have power, have done army or played in a movie, whatever… For you they are like a hero who’s going to “save” a little girl inside you from taking responsibility for her own life. So what, that they’re often fucked up and will screw your life for a while. At least you can blame it on them, but not on yourself!
That’s a bit of rather deep psychology, mixed with using a pop culture icon and historical character, as examples to make the point in a spicy kind of way. Refraining from psychological context, most “Bad Guys” are simply attractive because they are never fully yours. They’re a challenge and that’s why they get you.
How about then challenging yourself to become a woman who’s never fully “theirs”?