An overwhelming number of people these days say that they are unhappy in their marriages and relationships. An overwhelming number of people these days say that they are unhappy in their marriages and relationships. According to one survey, 6 out of 10 people asked if they were happy in their relationship said “no”.
Just like with anything else in life, when traditional norms break down, something new takes their place. In the instance of relationship, the new emerging trend is the Conscious Relationship, and in my opinion, they are an amazing thing to strive for.
The Problem with Traditional Relationships
“Working” on the Relationship
Too often, because traditional relationships are designed for personal gratification, the focus is “working” on keeping the relationship going. The “work” that has to be done is usually a matter of one of the partners in the relationship changing to appease the other.
Over time, we lose sense of who we are because of who we have had to become to maintain the relationship. So you make all of these changes to keep the relationship going, only to find that once you’ve established the relationship, you’ve become a completely different person in the process – someone you might not want to be.
Emphasis on Comfort
In traditional relationships, we worry so much about pleasing our partner that we tend to stifle ourselves. This includes everything from life dreams to sexual fantasies. We feel like we cannot express our feelings, desires, and aspirations to our partner for fear of judgement. The same can be said about expressing our pasts, fears, and apprehensions. We have all been hurt at some point, and we all have our hang-ups. The compromises that we often have to make to maintain a traditional relationship involve making compromises to ourselves.
Focusing on the Outcome
Traditional relationships tend to be all about moving the relationship in a perceived direction. There is a premium that is placed on getting to the proverbial “next level”. When you approach a relationship as if there is a destination in mind, what do you do when you get there? This is why marriages fail. People work to get to the point where they get married, and once they are there, there is nothing left to do.
Maintaining a “Conscious” Relationship?
In a conscious, relationship the focus is growth -physically, mentally, spiritually. You have to let go of your concept of a “comfort zone“. People think that a relationship is supposed to be all sunshine and sparkles so at the first sign of trouble, they automatically assume something is terribly wrong.
Growth is not an easy process, but when you have two people that are dedicated to it, it becomes a team effort instead of a constant struggle to figure out who you are. You have to let go of the belief that expressing who you are will put your relationships in danger for the fear of judgement from your partners. In a conscious relationship expression of who you are and what you want is the point. In a conscious relationship love is not the final destination, it is the fuel for the journey.
As two people move forward together with the joint sense that they are doing so as two people looking to be 100% themselves, they will find love in ways they never knew they could.