A wise man once said “If a man’s wealth is judged by the company he keeps, then I am the richest man I know”. If that is the case, there are some of us who are impoverished. So many times, I have had friends ask me what they should do concerning another person in their life, and my answer is more often than not “get rid of them”. That’s a concept that is much easier said than done in some cases, like when it is a spouse or blood relative, but in reality – you don’t HAVE to keep someone around that is toxic to your life.
Most people do it out of guilt, or some warped sense of duty.
Whatever the case may be, the following are some personality types that I personally try and avoid. Now I’ll bet you that you’ll know a person in your life that fits into each of these categories. If not -it might just be you :)
No, I don’t literally mean cat owners or people that shape shift into cats, nor do I mean any of the characters from the Thundercats. I’m talking about people that act like cats. Most people would just call this behavior “Passive Aggressive”, but to me it’s a little more than that.
If a cat is mad at you, it doesn’t just come right out and hit you with a flying claw attack, so that you know what it is that you did to upset their furry sensibilities . No, they wait for weeks, stewing in their feline anger, and then turn something you hold dear into a toilet.
If you have a problem with me, or something I do – tell me. That’s the only way to resolve the issue. Don’t skirt around it for extended periods of time, all the while resenting me for something I may or may not even know I did. At least when a cat is pissed about something they’ll poop in a shoe to let you know they are upset.
This is another personality trait that I bet you have in your life, and it can drive you crazy. Imagine that you and this person are in a boat, and they decide to jump out of the boat. Instead of swimming to save their own lives, they reach out to you to save them, and so you jump in after them. But now they don’t try to help you save them, they just swim for the bottom, dragging you down with them.
There are some people in this life that not only refuse to be happy, they want everyone else to be as miserable as they are. They seek advice, and ignore it. What’s worse, is not only do they typically ignore the advice, they keep doing whatever it is that they asked advice about in the first place.
Boat anchors were made for sinking, and no matter how hard you try to pull them up, they take you down with them. That’s just what they do. Whether for attention, or just to know that there is someone else down in the depths with them.
A flashlight in the dark can shed light on what it is that you need to see, which is handy. Unless that flashlight is pointed directly in your face, in which case – it is completely blinding. There are people in your life that keep that flashlight beam directed in your face to keep you from seeing what is actually wrong with them. By pointing out your flaws, and hyper-focusing on you – they hide behind their flashlights.
Whether it is insecurities or jealousy, the focus will never be on them. These people tend to direct their flashlight down at you from whatever pedestal they’ve built for themselves or whatever high horse they might be riding. People that ignore their faults by focusing on yours also have the fun benefit of being extremely defensive when you try to redirect their focus back at them. Sometimes you just need to turn around, and get that light out of your face.
Similar to the boat anchor, the vacuum basically refuses to be happy. To some people the glass is half full. To the vacuum it doesn’t matter that there is a glass, because the glass will always eventually be empty and we are all going to die, and nothing is good in the world.
An interesting aspect of vacuums is that they go out of their way to make sure that everyone around them is as miserable as they are. In most cases, any and all attempts at reversing the vacuum will only intensify it’s effects.
I get it, no one is perfect. As much as I like to think I avoid these types of people, I know that they are in my life – and chances are, they are in your life as well. We can’t always just turn out backs on people, no matter how much it may help us. What we CAN do is try to be the best people we can be, and at least be aware that these people exist, and that it is not our fault.