If you asked me why a woman should date a man with a beard; I’m probably going to ramble off wood chopping statistics or scenarios involving survivability in the woods after a disaster, only because those are the two most important things that I consider in any dating scenario – especially mine.
Now I know that beards aren’t for everyone, and I totally understand that.
Some men just don’t grow beards well, and some women don’t like them. But, let’s face it: I’m a little biased on the topic.
So Instead of going off on a self-beard-loving rant reminiscent of a Kanye West song, I am going to present a very logical, thought-out list of reasons why you need to be dating a man with a beard.
1. A Bearded Man is Healthier
According to science, bearded men are healthier. A study in the Radiation Protection Dosimetry Journal done by the University of Southern Queensland found that beards “block 90 to 95 percent of UV rays, slowing the aging process and reducing skin cancer.” Dr. Gill Hart from YorkTest says the beards can also tame allergies. “It’s been said that facial hair can filter out dust and pollens. However, it’s more likely that the presence of small amounts of pollens and dust trapped in facial hair could actually “sensitize” the immune system. In other words, the body will get used to the presence of small amounts of pollen and dust trapped in the facial hair and become less likely to react to them.”
So if you’re tired of that wrinkly, sun spotted, sneezy clean-shaven man, find a man with a beard.
2. A Bearded Man is Wiser
Throughout history beards have been a sign of wisdom. Beards take time, and experience, and therefore are symbols of inherent wisdom. This wisdom leads to things like patience, level headedness, and a sense of commitment. “One cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.” – G.K. Chesterton.
Chuck Norris? Beard.
Jesus? I think I made my point…
3. A Bearded Man is More Virile.
With a man’s ability to grow a beard beginning with the hormonal train wreck known as “puberty”, a beard is actually an evolutionary visual indication of a man’s ability to reproduce. Ladies, this is why your biological clocks start ticking like a drunken clock tower when you get around a man with a beard. “He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man” (Much Ado About Nothing , Act 2, Scene I).
4. A Bearded man Commands Respect.
The reason a bearded man tends to be an alpha of his pack is actually an evolutionary hold-over from the point in time when humans first began to wear clothes. Beards then became the primary feature by which to visually distinguish between men and women. Therefore, essentially beards became the primary defining feature of maleness. In some cultures, the more hirsute (able to grow a beard) the man, the more masculine he was perceived to be. A beard is like a mane on a lion, it is a visual representation of gravitas. And gravitas is awesome.
5. A Bearded Man is Good For Your Skin
A man’s beard acts as a natural exfoliator. Whether you are nuzzling your check into his neck, or his cheek is pressed against your jawline as he searches for that spot on the side of your neck where you like to be kissed, that beard is gently removing dead skin and oils from your skin – making it healthier. Trust me, your inner thighs have never been smoother than they are when you’re with a bearded man. Ladies, you are welcome.